DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a lighthearted gift to a close male friend, my husband and I gave him a pedicure voucher -- and also bought one for my husband, so they could go together to the salon. (We had been joking about the sad state of both husbands’ feet.)
His wife decided to use it, and I’m not sure why I feel so miffed. The husband wasn’t aware she had used it, as I learned when I told him that he could have returned it and I would have given him something else. He seemed annoyed and said that he did want to use it.
Now my husband won’t go on his own. I know it is petty, but would you please advise me on the etiquette around gift vouchers?
GENTLE READER: The etiquette surrounding any present is that once given, it belongs to the recipient to do with what they wish -- but with an obligation not to get caught.
Your friend got caught, and that is why you are miffed. Miss Manners noticed, however, that you also violated decorum by dictating the terms of the present, no matter your lighthearted intention. She suggests that you do not repeat the mistake with your own husband -- who now finds himself with an unwanted voucher -- by similarly taking it off of his hands. Instead, heed your own advice and get him something else.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)