DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a server, I happily extend hospitality to the entire spectrum of society, using “sir,” “ma’am,” “ladies,” etc. when addressing guests.
On occasion, I’m perplexed when ladies dressed in matching, masculine clothes dine at a table I’m serving. I feel awkward using both “ma’am” and “sir.” I’m not certain which they would prefer, and certainly do not want to offend.
GENTLE READER: Avoid giving titles entirely. Use “everyone” and “anyone” wherever possible, as in “Does everyone have everything they need?” or “Does anyone need anything?” When in doubt -- or when trying to single someone out -- Miss Manners highly recommends eye contact.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)