Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Try Taking Mean-spirited ‘Joke’ Seriously

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About five years ago, I was deeply in love with a man of interests and passions so attuned to my own, it was amazing! Through a series of misfortunate events, we parted ways after two years together. I have healed about 99% with infrequent memories.

I also had strong feelings for his mother (mine has passed). She is widely adored and a kind, loving lady. We shared many happy times together, and I felt a strong connection.

After all this time, I would like to write her a short note of respect and admiration. Am I silly? Would this be inappropriate?

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners takes your word for the fact that you are motivated only by a desire to be back in touch with this kind, loving lady, and are not using it as a way to get back with her son, she cannot promise that the kind, loving lady will do so.

But yes, write the letter, as it should give the lady pleasure, but omit any mention of the gentleman. And if she does not answer, you should accept the possibility that she consulted her son and he said it was better to leave the situation alone.