DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the matter with young people expecting guests to travel to far-flung destinations for weddings that could easily be celebrated locally?
My grandson’s oldest and dearest friend is getting married on Long Island, New York. The groom’s younger brother planned a bachelor party in New Orleans.
As a groomsman, my grandson has the expense of flying to New Orleans, two nights’ hotel stay, food and drinks. Then there is the wedding: tux rental and a generous gift for his best friend.
The bachelor party could have been held on Long Island or even in Manhattan, which would have eliminated airfare and hotel stays.
Have young people any sense of values? None of these people come from affluent families. All working people. Can you knock some good common sense into them?
GENTLE READER: Shouldn’t your grandson try? Did he tell the bridegroom’s brother that he regretted that he could not attend the bachelor party? Did he talk to the other groomsmen, who may have felt the same way?
Wedding industry propaganda has succeeded in making many outrageous expenses seem not only desirable, but necessary. Many bridal couples go into serious debt for their weddings.
Miss Manners believes that they are receptive because weddings -- and to a lesser extent, proms, which are also subject to ridiculous costs -- are the only really festive occasions in their lives. Everything else being strictly casual -- even work, now -- their wedding is their only chance to dress up, to participate in rituals and, one must admit, to show off.
But if others refused to go along with it, and stopped spending their money and holiday time witnessing other people’s extravagant fantasies, sense might prevail.