DEAR MISS MANNERS: An acquaintance (a man) asked me (a woman) how he could go about using a certain building to hold an event. When I was finished explaining it to him and it was time to go home, I said goodbye and walked towards the door.
When I was about 10 feet away, he called out my name. He said, I suppose as an explanation, “I’m a touchy-feely person,” and asked for a hug. I didn’t know what else to do, so I hugged him and left.
I have seen this man here and there at community events over the past few years, and have just recently been reminded of his name. The past three times he has run into me, he has asked me about my boyfriends (present and past) and very little else. (He is married and I have met his wife).
I find this vaguely disturbing, but on the other hand, he has not done anything that is obviously inappropriate. I don’t really feel like hugging him again, but it is likely that we will be running into each other more often in the future. How can I avoid hugging him again without starting a feud?
GENTLE READER: Never mind that vagueness: The reason that you are disturbed is that this behavior is disturbing. No one has any business hugging you without your permission, or inquiring about your personal life.
Miss Manners is alarmed that you feel that politeness requires you to put up with this through subtle evasiveness. It does not. The response to his declaration of being “a touchy-feely person” should be, “Well, I am not.” And to the questions, “That is my private life.”