DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does a gracious host deal with invited guests who arrive in really sweaty clothes (which you know, because you greeted them with a hug), arrive in excessively wet or dirty shoes, say they have bladder control problems, or are at least 400 pounds overweight?
All of these things have happened to me more than once, with different guests. These issues have led to stains on furniture or carpets that cannot be cleaned.
Must we smile as they take a seat wherever they choose, or do you have suggestions for handling these issues so we don’t have to replace the furniture every few years?
GENTLE READER: You may have missed the belated recognition by society that obesity, and the problems associated with it, should not be treated, as was too often done in the past, as a moral failing.
But Miss Manners does condemn extremism in any form, and that includes guests who do not make reasonable efforts to mitigate the impact of their conditions on their host -- or, in the case of the sweaty guests, their host’s upholstery. For the overweight guest, this means not sitting on the antique wooden chair with spindly legs; for the host, this means having suitable alternatives and, if necessary, suggesting that your guest might be more comfortable sitting here than on “that old thing.”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)