DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would it be appropriate to offer my cousin's daughter who is getting married the cost of our trip to her wedding ($1,000) instead of our attending the wedding?
Cousin and I are fairly close. He does not have many family members left in this world. I do not want to make an offer that is inappropriate.
GENTLE READER: Then do not suggest to your cousin that money would mean more to her than the presence of one of her few family members left. The only thing that Miss Manners would consider worse would be if she seemed pleased.