DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I go to my boyfriend’s house, his teenage daughter (age 15) is usually in her bedroom with the door closed. When she comes out, she will tell her father what she is going to do, but will never even acknowledge that I am sitting there; no “hello,” “hi,” nothing. My boyfriend sits right next to me and sees that she does this, but doesn’t say anything to her.
Is her not saying anything to me considered bad manners, or just normal teenager behavior? Do I greet her first or, if her behavior is considered rude, do I wait for him to correct her?
GENTLE READER: You would have to consult the parent of a teenager to determine what constitutes normal behavior, since teenagers often have trouble recognizing a behavior yardstick against which to measure themselves.
Not being one to accept “but everyone does it” as an answer, Miss Manners confirms that whatever other teenagers may do, this behavior is rude.
But there is no order of greeting: It would be equally rude of you to sit in silence. Say “Hello.” If she pointedly ignores you, then there is a problem to discuss with your boyfriend after she leaves the room.