DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are in a quandary over how to make our wedding accessible to everyone, as my family lives in the southeast United States, and his family lives in southeast Australia. Health, finances and necessary travel documents make it nearly impossible for either family to make such a journey, even to what might be considered a halfway point.
We would hate to have to choose between my family or his. In this situation, is there a courteous way we could have two modest, dignified ceremonies within a few weeks of each other? Alternatively, is there some sort of "church blessing" or other ceremony we could have with the other half of our family followed by tea sandwiches, champagne and cake?
GENTLE READER: If you have two wedding ceremonies, you would still have to choose which family attended the original one, and which the rerun. The emotional impact of attending a wedding comes from witnessing people enter the state of matrimony, not from watching a married couple run through something they have done before.
If your church recognizes a religious service, in addition to a civil service, that would be a solution. Otherwise, Miss Manners recommends that the second event be a frank celebration instead of a mock wedding.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)