DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am single. Very often, when I ask married friends or potential friends to meet me for a meal or another event -- either with the spouse or without -- I get an enthusiastic response, followed by, “Let me check with (spouse) to see if we have anything else planned.”
And then I never hear a response back. This happens even when I throw several dates out, or I tell them to let me know what night they are free.
My instinct is to think they really were not interested. I do not follow up, because I do not want to make them uncomfortable. But perhaps they simply got busy and forgot. Either way, my feelings are hurt.
Is there a polite way to address this? Or should I cross these people off my list of potential friends?
GENTLE READER: More likely, their spouses gave them a similarly vague response and they got tired of asking.
While this practice of non-response is clearly rude, Miss Manners recommends that you attempt at least one follow-up before you start eliminating friends: “I hate to nag you about nagging Dirk, but if you are not able to use the concert tickets, I might attempt to nag another friend’s husband. Please let me know.”