DEAR MISS MANNERS: I threw a birthday party for myself. It was a big birthday for me, and I paid for everyone’s dinner (including wine). This was an expensive affair, and I went all out. Two couples (the wealthier ones, LOL) came without a gift (only a card). Was it presumptuous of me to find this rude?
GENTLE READER: Yes. While Miss Manners commends you for not forcing others to pay for your own lavish party, it is only recently -- and under false notions of etiquette -- that this has become unusual. It is, in fact, correct. Expecting a present for it in return, however, is not.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)