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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Cake Topper for Wedding Should Be Offered as an Honor, Not as Charity

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My nephew is getting married. They have a limited budget. Would it be tacky to offer them the cake topper and unity candle from my wedding? I will never use them again and have no children to hand them down to.

GENTLE READER: To offer items for which you have no use because you think the recipients are too hard up to buy their own will not endear you to them. Miss Manners thinks you would get a better reaction by saying that you would be honored if they would use the topper and candle because they mean so much to you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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