DEAR MISS MANNERS: As I'm sure you know, traditionally the bride's family comes up with the cost of the wedding. But now that marriage has become so diversified, who holds that responsibility? Grooms to grooms, brides to brides -- and has this changed the tradition as far as straight marriage goes?
GENTLE READER: That custom was causing trouble long before gay weddings became legal. It referred to a time when brides were married from under their parents' guardianship, and the wedding expense was offset by the expectation that all subsequent living expenses would be paid by the bridegrooms.
Miss Manners need hardly point out how silly it is to apply this automatically to brides who are out on their own and self-sufficient. Weddings are family occasions, and families should talk them over and decide, without pressuring one another, what each element feels it can comfortably contribute. Only then should the plans be made so that they are affordable.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)