DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an adult woman and have a professional career. I am extremely small-chested. Wearing a bra does not provide me with "support," nor is support needed.
I wear one anyway, because my mother taught me that it is indecent for a woman to go without. Even underneath demure clothing, it can be possible for others to see that the outline of straps is not present, or worse, notice that perhaps a woman is cold. According to Mom, this would lead observers to determine that the woman was of poor moral character.
When I explained to my husband that this is the only reason I bother to wear brassieres, he laughed and said that my mother was wrong. He does not believe it would be a breach of social norms to forgo a bra that is there only to prove its own existence (provided that my dress or top is not sheer or too tight).
I would love for him to be right, but I am not convinced he is the expert he thinks he is on this subject. Can you please provide guidance?
GENTLE READER: Interfering between a husband and wife on the subject of the lady's underclothes is not in Miss Manners' job description. She would rather attack those people who stare at a demure bodice closely enough to see what is underneath, and blatantly enough to make the wearer realize that they are doing so.
But in the interest of marital peace, she will whisper: So wear an undershirt.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)