DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father recently passed away, and it's been a real eye-opener as to how my friends and family have dealt with the loss when communicating with me. One of my good friends sent a condolence sticky note that said "Sorry for your loss" attached to a piece of mail she forwarded to me.
I'm aware that people deal with loss in their own ways, and perhaps my father's passing was hitting too close to home and she doesn't know how to deal with it. But this really upset me.
I did not expect a card or flowers, not at all. I just did not expect my father's life and death summed up on a generic yellow sticky note. Is this actually appropriate? I don't know how to reply.
GENTLE READER: Fortunately, a sticky note does not require any response. Nor does callous behavior require the target to offer a psychological excuse.
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