DEAR HARRIETTE: My son just bought a motorcycle. I don't know if this is some version of a midlife crisis, but I need help stopping him! He is nearly 40 and a single dad. He is the only parent his daughter has, and I don't want her to lose him because he's finally found his wild side. I was a nurse for over 25 years, and during that time, I have never seen a motorcyclist survive an accident. I have tried talking to my son about this, reminding him of the people who need him, but he believes he's invincible and that being careful can prevent tragedies. He has signed up for lessons to learn how to ride, and he thinks that will be his saving grace.

I don't mean to sound paranoid, but I don't think he realizes how risky this choice is, especially when he has a perfectly safe car he can use. I'm worried. How can I change his mind? -- Biker Dad

DEAR BIKER DAD: You already know that you cannot control your son. What you can do is talk to him about safety measures and specific ways to protect his daughter. It's good he's taking lessons. What about insurance? Even though he's a young man, suggest that he buy a sizable life insurance policy -- at least a million dollars -- in his daughter's name. While money won't replace him, if he is killed in an accident, there will be resources to care for her.

Be mindful not to constantly complain about his bike. You don't want to draw negativity toward him. Just encourage him to be safe -- and ask him not to take his daughter on the bike.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was 18 years old, my parents told me I was adopted. Although I had grown up in a safe home and had been provided for by my adoptive parents, I felt lied to because I was never told this was not my biological family. As I entered adulthood, I began to search for my biological parents to understand exactly where I come from and what my biological heritage is.

As I continue to adulthood, I'm trying to let go of these feelings of betrayal and understand where my adopted family was coming from. Please advise on ways for me to open up the lines of communication while respecting my personal boundaries. I'm seeking to understand and let go of resentment; however, I still want them to understand how painful this process has been for me. -- Adoption

DEAR ADOPTION: When parents adopt a child, they do so out of a tremendous desire to welcome a child into their family. They want more than anything to care for this precious being, and the child does become theirs. It can later become enormously difficult to find a time to tell the child that they were born to other people.

Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. They love you. They welcomed you into their world when, for whatever reason, your biological parents couldn't care for you. This is hard all the way around -- for you and for them. They told you when they thought you had the capacity to handle the news. Don't shut them out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend got married last year in Peru. She and her husband invited family only, wanting to keep the wedding small due to budget. When she told me I wasn't invited, I tried to be supportive. I sent a gift, congratulated her and told myself not to take it personally. My fiance and I are getting married this year, and we have been saving like crazy so we can have a large wedding. Part of me doesn't want to invite my best friend because I wasn't invited to her wedding. We have been friends for more than 30 years -- since we were little girls -- so I couldn't believe an exception wasn't made for me. I keep thinking: If I wasn't important enough to make the cut for her wedding, why should she automatically have a seat at mine?

I know weddings aren't tit-for-tat, but I can't shake the feeling of being excluded during one of the biggest moments of her life. Am I justified in feeling like if I wasn't part of her special day, she doesn't need to be part of mine? -- Uninvited

DEAR UNINVITED: It sounds like you already know you are being petty, but you can still talk to her. Tell her how hurt you remain about her decision to exclude you and what you are grappling with for your own wedding. Allow this to be an opportunity to clear the air. Her decision probably involved other people. Whether it was right or wrong, it happened. What do you want for your friendship moving forward? Work toward meeting that goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a single mother of one, a son who is going to college this year. Over the years, my son and I have built a strong and open relationship that fosters healthy communication. As every parent understands, there will come a day where I am not privy to every aspect of his life, and he must make his own decisions. I trust his decision-making skills since he hasn't done anything to make me question his judgment; however, it is hard to let go of my child at any age.

As he goes to college, I want to give him enough space to grow and evolve into his young-adult self, but I want to maintain an open line, too. How would you advise I avoid becoming a helicopter parent while still providing relevant support and wisdom? -- Growing Up

DEAR GROWING UP: Let your son know that you will always be there for him as a sounding board and a support. Remind him that he is moving into a new phase in his life where he will begin to make decisions for himself. Suggest that he remember the values you have instilled in him. Encourage him to evaluate the options before him at every major crossroads and consider what choice is in alignment with his beliefs. Remind him that when he's in doubt, he can always contact you to run an idea by you. Don't baby him. Point out that you have instilled fundamental values and beliefs in him that should guide his steps. Now is the time for him to use those tools. Of course he will make mistakes -- we all do. If he continues to listen to the voice inside that is reminding him of what appropriate behavior is, he should be OK.

If you can coach him like this rather than constantly telling him exactly what to do, you will learn to let go and not be a helicopter parent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been married to my husband for just over a year now, and I have been starting to get annoyed with how nice he is. Yes, I know that sounds crazy, but it's getting to a point where I am finally starting to see just how much he lets his family, friends and even strangers walk all over him. For example, his sister constantly asks him for favors like rides to the airport at 4 a.m., help moving apartments and last-minute babysitting, and he always says yes, even when we already have plans. He'll apologize to me for canceling, but he never tells her no. At first, I thought this was just him being kind, and I admired that, but now I'm starting to feel like he is unable to set boundaries.

It's beginning to affect our marriage. I sometimes feel like I come second to everyone else's needs. I also worry that one day this will turn into resentment, either toward the people taking advantage of him or toward me for pointing it out. When I try to bring this issue up to him, he tells me that I am being selfish and that it's important that he can be there for the people in his life. Am I being too critical? Is this just a difference in personality, or is it reasonable to want your spouse to have stronger boundaries? -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Sit down with your husband and point out that it looks like he is so busy being there for other people that he is not putting your marriage first. Tell him you appreciate his generosity and support for his family, but you think it is disproportionate to his own needs and personal life. Tell him that being able to have boundaries does not make him a bad person. Instead, it gives him space to live his own life fully, to have control over his time and to be there for his marriage as he also supports loved ones. Ask him to reconsider his position on this matter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Something is wrong with me, and I can't seem to let go. I was dating a guy for about a year, and I really liked him. Some things happened, and he broke it off. I keep looking at his social media posts, and I sometimes go to the places where we used to go to try to spot him. I have texted him recently, but he no longer responds. How can I stop thinking about him and reaching out? It's kind of pathetic, but I can't seem to stop. -- Let Go

DEAR LET GO: What is drawing you to him? You say he broke it off. Why? What happened, and why can't you accept that it is over? You see that he is unresponsive, so he isn't doing anything to encourage your attention. Perhaps it is hard for you to accept rejection.

Consider going to therapy to talk through this situation. Something deeper may be at work in your psyche that you need to address. Talk with a professional about this situation and your life in general, and work to come to an understanding of what keeps you interested in someone who is no longer interested in you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)