DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been married to my husband for just over a year now, and I have been starting to get annoyed with how nice he is. Yes, I know that sounds crazy, but it's getting to a point where I am finally starting to see just how much he lets his family, friends and even strangers walk all over him. For example, his sister constantly asks him for favors like rides to the airport at 4 a.m., help moving apartments and last-minute babysitting, and he always says yes, even when we already have plans. He'll apologize to me for canceling, but he never tells her no. At first, I thought this was just him being kind, and I admired that, but now I'm starting to feel like he is unable to set boundaries.

It's beginning to affect our marriage. I sometimes feel like I come second to everyone else's needs. I also worry that one day this will turn into resentment, either toward the people taking advantage of him or toward me for pointing it out. When I try to bring this issue up to him, he tells me that I am being selfish and that it's important that he can be there for the people in his life. Am I being too critical? Is this just a difference in personality, or is it reasonable to want your spouse to have stronger boundaries? -- Drawing the Line

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Sit down with your husband and point out that it looks like he is so busy being there for other people that he is not putting your marriage first. Tell him you appreciate his generosity and support for his family, but you think it is disproportionate to his own needs and personal life. Tell him that being able to have boundaries does not make him a bad person. Instead, it gives him space to live his own life fully, to have control over his time and to be there for his marriage as he also supports loved ones. Ask him to reconsider his position on this matter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Something is wrong with me, and I can't seem to let go. I was dating a guy for about a year, and I really liked him. Some things happened, and he broke it off. I keep looking at his social media posts, and I sometimes go to the places where we used to go to try to spot him. I have texted him recently, but he no longer responds. How can I stop thinking about him and reaching out? It's kind of pathetic, but I can't seem to stop. -- Let Go

DEAR LET GO: What is drawing you to him? You say he broke it off. Why? What happened, and why can't you accept that it is over? You see that he is unresponsive, so he isn't doing anything to encourage your attention. Perhaps it is hard for you to accept rejection.

Consider going to therapy to talk through this situation. Something deeper may be at work in your psyche that you need to address. Talk with a professional about this situation and your life in general, and work to come to an understanding of what keeps you interested in someone who is no longer interested in you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have decided that we don't want to have kids. There are many reasons that I won't get into, but we believe it's best for us. The issue is that both sets of parents really want us to have kids. We have been married for two years, and they have started asking about it all the time. We are both so annoyed that we told them that we have been trying for a year now with no success. This isn't the truth, but we have reached a breaking point.

Since we made this "confession," everything has changed. Instead of casual questions, we're now getting sympathy. My mother-in-law sends articles about fertility specialists. My own mom has offered to pay for treatments. They speak to us with this tone of sadness that makes me feel terrible. We've essentially created a false narrative that we're struggling with infertility, and I know that's not something to take lightly. At the same time, I don't feel ready to have the "we're never having kids" conversation. I know it will disappoint them, and I'm not prepared for the emotional fallout. I also worry that they'll think we're depriving them of something they've always dreamed of. Now I feel stuck. Do we come clean and admit that we lied just to stop the pressure? -- No Kids

DEAR NO KIDS: It is early in your marriage, and you do not know what the future holds. I hadn't planned to have children and had the same thing happen to me -- my family pestered me all the time about it. My husband's grandmother gave us a baby-themed picture frame for our first wedding anniversary. The hints were loud. We ignored them. After a while, their entreaties quieted. In the end -- for us -- we got pregnant without planning it and had a child after being married for 10 years. That turned out to be an amazing blessing. Whatever happens for you will be your life -- with or without children.

I recommend that you talk to your families and tell them that you have decided you are not going to have children at this point. Thank them for their love and care. Ask them to stop asking you about it and let you live your lives. Then do just that. Build a life of love together with whatever and whomever that entails.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small staff, and we work hard. One staff member has been slacking for months, not doing some parts of her job, which is making it a burden for others. Recently, my most reliable employee dropped the ball on something and didn't even apologize. I think the other employee's behavior is rubbing off on her. How can I rebuild morale at a time when I have no extra money? -- Worried

DEAR WORRIED: Ask the slacker what's going on that has prompted a marked reduction in productivity and accountability. Point out that her behavior is impacting others. Listen to learn the reason behind the behavioral change. Also speak to the other employee and ask what's going on. Thank your employees for their loyalty and hard work, and ask them to renew their commitment. Promise to do your best to support them. If the slacker continues to underproduce, look for a replacement. One bad employee can poison the whole team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As many of us know right now, the job market is extremely tight. I have been looking for a job for over eight months. Thankfully, I recently landed a position at a great company. I was even able to increase my salary, which is such a huge win -- especially because of inflation increasing the cost of living. However, I am starting to feel guilty because when I was interviewing for this position, I lied on a lot of the interview questions to make myself sound more impressive. It wasn't all entirely fake, but I embellished. I overstated my leadership experience by implying that I had more leadership in certain projects than I actually did, and I answered behavioral questions with examples that were partially true but exaggerated to make me sound more accomplished.

At the time, it felt like I had to lie to survive. Everyone says that they did it, too, and after months of rejection, I convinced myself that stretching the truth was just part of the game. Now that I've started the job, they are having me lead many projects, and I'm struggling. Part of me worries that I've built this opportunity on shaky ground. I don't know if this is normal imposter syndrome or if my guilt is telling me something about my integrity. Did I cross a line, or did I do what I had to do in order to secure employment? -- Living a Lie

DEAR LIVING A LIE: Get over your guilt and start learning. Find a mentor who can coach you on things you need to understand. Ask a lot of questions. Find out who is an expert at the things you need to learn, and build a rapport with them. Know that a leader is someone who listens well and who motivates others toward greatness. You can gain the knowledge needed so that you can become the person you said you were.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like to smoke weed. I live in New York City, so it is legal. In fact, there are dispensaries all over the city that sell it. I am happy about that, but I do have an issue. My job forbids employees from smoking weed. They say it impairs your faculties, and using it is a deal-breaker for them. They even do random drug testing. I think that's not fair. If it's legal in our city and so many places around the country, how can they get away with that? I want to fight this archaic rule, but I haven't worked here long, and I worry that this may not be the sword I want to fall on. On the other hand, I don't want to stop smoking. Should I continue on as I am and, if I get tested, start looking for a job? -- Pothead

DEAR POTHEAD: Businesses have guidelines. Yours draws the line with marijuana. If you can't follow their rules, you probably do need to go elsewhere. Whatever their reasons are for not allowing marijuana, they are clear; defying them is foolhardy. What is more important to you: weed or work? Make that decision, and your next steps will be easy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)