DEAR HARRIETTE: As many of us know right now, the job market is extremely tight. I have been looking for a job for over eight months. Thankfully, I recently landed a position at a great company. I was even able to increase my salary, which is such a huge win -- especially because of inflation increasing the cost of living. However, I am starting to feel guilty because when I was interviewing for this position, I lied on a lot of the interview questions to make myself sound more impressive. It wasn't all entirely fake, but I embellished. I overstated my leadership experience by implying that I had more leadership in certain projects than I actually did, and I answered behavioral questions with examples that were partially true but exaggerated to make me sound more accomplished.

At the time, it felt like I had to lie to survive. Everyone says that they did it, too, and after months of rejection, I convinced myself that stretching the truth was just part of the game. Now that I've started the job, they are having me lead many projects, and I'm struggling. Part of me worries that I've built this opportunity on shaky ground. I don't know if this is normal imposter syndrome or if my guilt is telling me something about my integrity. Did I cross a line, or did I do what I had to do in order to secure employment? -- Living a Lie

DEAR LIVING A LIE: Get over your guilt and start learning. Find a mentor who can coach you on things you need to understand. Ask a lot of questions. Find out who is an expert at the things you need to learn, and build a rapport with them. Know that a leader is someone who listens well and who motivates others toward greatness. You can gain the knowledge needed so that you can become the person you said you were.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like to smoke weed. I live in New York City, so it is legal. In fact, there are dispensaries all over the city that sell it. I am happy about that, but I do have an issue. My job forbids employees from smoking weed. They say it impairs your faculties, and using it is a deal-breaker for them. They even do random drug testing. I think that's not fair. If it's legal in our city and so many places around the country, how can they get away with that? I want to fight this archaic rule, but I haven't worked here long, and I worry that this may not be the sword I want to fall on. On the other hand, I don't want to stop smoking. Should I continue on as I am and, if I get tested, start looking for a job? -- Pothead

DEAR POTHEAD: Businesses have guidelines. Yours draws the line with marijuana. If you can't follow their rules, you probably do need to go elsewhere. Whatever their reasons are for not allowing marijuana, they are clear; defying them is foolhardy. What is more important to you: weed or work? Make that decision, and your next steps will be easy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in finance. Two weeks ago, I was told that I am being taken off of the project I'm working on and will be reassigned two new projects. I had no issue with this, but now my life at work is stressful because all of my time is still going to the project that I'm being transitioned off of, but there is no set date to when I will no longer work on this project. It's frustrating because I want to be researching my new projects as I'm also starting to have meetings added to my calendar, and when I start, I'm expected to know the project goals, context and key stakeholders. Currently, I don't even have time to look over the documents, so I feel like I am being set up to fail. I don't want to look disengaged on my old project, but I also don't want to look unprepared on my new ones. I'm worried this will reflect poorly on me, even though the situation feels out of my control. Should I speak up and risk sounding like I can't handle the workload, or do I just try to power through and hope things settle down? -- Overloaded

DEAR OVERLOADED: Speak to the supervisors of each project and explain your situation. Ask for advice on how to handle your responsibilities efficiently. Being proactive will show that you are conscientious and will also alert leadership that you need help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started an organization with a group of friends. It has been a great experience, and we have been able to contribute significantly to our community. We have curated a safe space that attracts others while continuing to be organized and results-driven. Although I am extremely proud of what we have built, it can be hard to be a leader in this space due to the familiar relationship we have as friends. Our personal relationships can often interfere with our ability to operate as a collective, with some of us not wanting to give critique to protect the friendship. This can affect the efficiency of the organization, which is our No. 1 priority. How do I curate an environment that nurtures our friendship but still puts our organization's mission at the forefront? -- Leader of Friends

DEAR LEADER OF FRIENDS: Talk to your team about roles and responsibilities. Create an organizational chart that identifies structure. Discuss how information should be shared and how everyone can be accountable. Suggest weekly meetings to review the status of all projects.

Most important: Schedule debrief meetings after each event or project concludes. Encourage everyone to share unfiltered feedback about what worked and what didn't work so that you can all learn and grow. Be respectful in those meetings, but also direct. By establishing a rhythm of communication about the status of your work together, you will create a level of comfort with each other professionally. Agree to speak both candidly and nonjudgmentally. Listen when others speak, and assume the positive. Over time, you can develop an ease of honest communication even though you are friends.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my last semester of college, and I think I should feel confident in my career choice and prepared for my industry; however, I feel as confused as when I first stepped on campus. Over the course of the last four years, I've switched my major a couple of times, searching for the best fit for me. While testing out different departments at my institution, I realized that I was not receiving the support I needed when it came to cultivating career confidence. I find myself unsure about my next steps, yet I feel pressured to make a decision as soon as possible. Although I was busy with on- and off-campus extracurriculars, I sometimes feel like I didn't take my time in college to explore as much as I needed to. How do you think I can take advantage of my last few months to become clearer about what's to come after graduation? -- Grad

DEAR GRAD: The good news is that you don't have to decide your entire future right now. That said, you do need to choose an area to pursue in order to be gainfully employed. Look around. What types of jobs interest you that you will be qualified to do? Think about your extracurricular activities and how they might support your pursuit. Can you include them along with any jobs on your resume? What can you say about yourself that will make you appealing to a potential employer? Work on that now as you also look for a job. If your university has a career center, go there and learn about any opportunities they know of. Look in your hometown and ask everyone you know for leads. You may not find something that's a perfect fit, but look hard for any job that can get you started.

Once you have a job, put forth your best effort, but also keep your eyes open to see what is on the horizon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As the peacemaker in many of my friend groups, often I find myself in the middle of friendship disputes. My usual approach is simply to comfort without blaming or pointing fingers at anyone. These conversations often sound like "I understand that" and "I see how that made you feel." I do my absolute best not to pass judgment and tear down my friends, no matter what. However, I do not want to make any of my friends feel like I am invalidating their feelings. I do not think I need to choose sides when my friends are arguing, especially if I was not involved in the situation. I always recommend they communicate directly with one another rather going to other people in hopes that they reach a quick resolution. How do you suggest I create boundaries with my friends so I stay out of these uncomfortable situations? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: When you don't have the bandwidth to listen to your friends' problems, say so. Before allowing them to dive into their drama, stop them and apologize as you explain you just can't listen right now. You can add, if you want, that you have some other obligation or you need quiet time. Feel comfortable drawing the line when you don't have the energy to be a sounding board.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)