DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently lost a significant amount of weight, and it has been a journey to adjust to a different lifestyle. The majority of my clothes don't fit me properly, my curves aren't as curvy as they used to be and many people feel it is OK to comment on my new body. I never hated my body no matter the size, but it has been difficult to learn how to maintain my new shape without being scared I will gain the weight back at the end of the next meal. I think that, because I lost weight instead of gaining, people feel more inclined to share their thoughts about it, but I'm working on creating boundaries of respect in my relationships. How do I form these boundaries around my body without seeming insecure or rude? -- My Body

DEAR MY BODY: People can be unwittingly invasive when it comes to other people's bodies and especially their weight. Even the most well-meaning can cross boundaries without realizing it. You may cause a little rift by speaking up, but it may be worth it. Next time someone decides to offer an analysis about your weight, stop them by saying, "Thank you for your concern, but I would prefer if you keep those comments to yourself." That may prompt a reaction. If so, follow up and say, "I know you love me and are concerned about me, but it is hard for me to have to listen to endless comments about my weight. Please stop." If you say something like that a few times, most people will back off.

For your own self-esteem, consider getting help. A dramatic shift in your body is a lot to process. A therapist may be able to support you as you gain comfort in your new body and develop healthy behaviors to support it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I got hired at the same big tech company three years ago. We were both so excited because the company is a big deal to work for and their compensation and benefits are competitive. However, she recently got promoted, and it's hard for me not to feel jealous. She is now a senior manager, and I'm still a manager. I understand that everyone's career looks different, but I feel stagnant. I've been stuck in the same role for so long now, and I'm starting to feel embarrassed. I've been trying to interview for roles internally and externally, but I haven't been having any luck. It's especially hard because we used to talk about our goals together, and now I feel like I'm falling behind. When she shares updates about her new responsibilities or the bigger projects she's leading, I try to be supportive, but inside I feel small. I find myself avoiding certain conversations because I don't want to compare myself. I've always considered myself ambitious and capable, so this period of feeling "stuck" is affecting my confidence.

I don't want my jealousy to damage our friendship, but I also don't know how to shake this feeling of inadequacy. How do I support my friend genuinely while also dealing with my own disappointment about my career? -- No Comparison

DEAR NO COMPARISON: Establish clear goals for yourself. Write them down and focus on achieving them. Find a mentor within or outside your company who can motivate you. You need someone in addition to your friend who can be there for you. In this way, you can still be a friend to her and yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I started attending a new church at the invitation of my significant other. I've been enjoying the services and sermons, but upon attending, I realized that my partner is quite popular with the ladies there -- which may be why he waited so long before inviting me. No one was rude to me, but I heard women whisper about him sometimes and even make passes at him.

The rumors and flirtation became excessive to me, and I decided we should break up. Nevertheless, I am still on a path of getting better acquainted with my faith. I have built some promising friendships there with genuine-seeming congregation members and leaders. I would love to continue attending this church, but now it feels awkward and forced. I don't want to impose on my ex's space, but I want to keep exploring my faith. -- The Perfect Church

DEAR THE PERFECT CHURCH: Clear things up with your ex before immersing yourself in his church. Even though you broke up with him, ask him if he would be willing to meet and talk with you about something important. Thank him for introducing you to his church. Tell him how meaningful the experience has been thus far, and share with him that you would like to continue attending even though the two of you are not together anymore. Ask him how he feels about that.

If you didn't discuss the breakup before, talk about that, too. If you really liked him but didn't like the flirtation, make it crystal clear what prompted you to end the relationship. Ask him if he thinks he could be comfortable with you being part of his church community without being his girlfriend. Out of respect, make sure he's OK with that before settling in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a text thread with a group of some of my closest friends. We've all known each other for more than 15 years -- there are even blood sisters within this friend group. Earlier this week, someone left the group chat abruptly. I asked if anyone knew what that was about, and no one responded.

I reached out to the friend who left the chat. I didn't want to pry, so I asked how things were going; she did not respond. Since then, she has been posting on social media about not feeling supported or understood. She's also commented on some of my social media posts, which makes me believe that our personal friendship is still intact. Do you think it's OK to give her a call and see what may have gone wrong? Or am I meddling? I know what it's like to feel isolated or unheard, and I'd hate it if she did not at least have a friend to lean on when she's upset about something. -- Group Chat

DEAR GROUP CHAT: You have a longstanding friendship. Definitely reach out to her, but rather than probing about why she left the group, invite her to get together with you. Do your best to connect with her without inquiry. Allow your long bond to reconnect you. If she agrees, maybe you two can get close, and you can be a support to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel awkward when people ask me how much money I make. I recently got a new job at a large tech company as a vice president, and now many of my friends and family keep asking me how much I make. In my opinion, it’s always rude to ask how much money someone makes, so I always tell people that I’m not going to give them that information. The problem is that when I say that, people get visibly uncomfortable or make jokes about it. Some will say things like, “Oh, it must be a lot if you won’t tell us,” or “Must be nice!” Others push even harder and try to guess the number out loud. It turns what should be a celebratory moment in my career into something that feels tense and transactional. What makes it more complicated is that I didn’t grow up with much money, and I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am.

I’m proud of myself, but I also don’t want my income to change my relationships or make people feel insecure. At the same time, I don’t want to feel pressured into disclosing personal financial details just to ease others' discomfort at their own faux pas. How do I handle these conversations without coming across as secretive? -- None of Your Business

DEAR NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS: You do not have to succumb to their pressure. The best way to accomplish that is to accept that you are proud of where you are, and that’s enough. Deflect when people ask you. Say your parents always taught you not to talk about salaries. You can say you are grateful for your career and you continue to work hard for it. Then, pivot to another topic. Let them speculate. Unless your salary becomes public knowledge -- for example, if you work for a publicly held company in senior leadership -- that’s all they can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I are roommates. We share a lot, but now she’s encroaching on my friends. I know it sounds silly, but I’ve been struggling to find my next job, so at the moment I can afford only my rent and the bare necessities. I feel awful enough that I can’t afford to go out with my friends the way we normally do, but it's so much worse when she sweeps in and takes my place. It feels inconsiderate and almost tactical.

She never asks if I’d like to join, and sometimes she even tries to conceal who she’s meeting up with. In one instance, I realized she’d made plans with my friends only after she posted photos on social media. It left me feeling replaced and embarrassed, as if my absence had created an opening she was eager to fill. Am I being overly sensitive, or is it reasonable to set boundaries around friendships -- especially while I’m going through a vulnerable period? -- My Replacement

DEAR MY REPLACEMENT: Sit down with your sister and tell her how disappointed and hurt you are at her behavior. Remind her that she knows your financial circumstances and why you can’t hang out all the time. Ask her why she would think it was OK or kind for her to go out with your friends without you. Tell her how inconsiderate you think her behavior is. Suggest that she find her own friends and stop stealing yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)