DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I started attending a new church at the invitation of my significant other. I've been enjoying the services and sermons, but upon attending, I realized that my partner is quite popular with the ladies there -- which may be why he waited so long before inviting me. No one was rude to me, but I heard women whisper about him sometimes and even make passes at him.

The rumors and flirtation became excessive to me, and I decided we should break up. Nevertheless, I am still on a path of getting better acquainted with my faith. I have built some promising friendships there with genuine-seeming congregation members and leaders. I would love to continue attending this church, but now it feels awkward and forced. I don't want to impose on my ex's space, but I want to keep exploring my faith. -- The Perfect Church

DEAR THE PERFECT CHURCH: Clear things up with your ex before immersing yourself in his church. Even though you broke up with him, ask him if he would be willing to meet and talk with you about something important. Thank him for introducing you to his church. Tell him how meaningful the experience has been thus far, and share with him that you would like to continue attending even though the two of you are not together anymore. Ask him how he feels about that.

If you didn't discuss the breakup before, talk about that, too. If you really liked him but didn't like the flirtation, make it crystal clear what prompted you to end the relationship. Ask him if he thinks he could be comfortable with you being part of his church community without being his girlfriend. Out of respect, make sure he's OK with that before settling in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a text thread with a group of some of my closest friends. We've all known each other for more than 15 years -- there are even blood sisters within this friend group. Earlier this week, someone left the group chat abruptly. I asked if anyone knew what that was about, and no one responded.

I reached out to the friend who left the chat. I didn't want to pry, so I asked how things were going; she did not respond. Since then, she has been posting on social media about not feeling supported or understood. She's also commented on some of my social media posts, which makes me believe that our personal friendship is still intact. Do you think it's OK to give her a call and see what may have gone wrong? Or am I meddling? I know what it's like to feel isolated or unheard, and I'd hate it if she did not at least have a friend to lean on when she's upset about something. -- Group Chat

DEAR GROUP CHAT: You have a longstanding friendship. Definitely reach out to her, but rather than probing about why she left the group, invite her to get together with you. Do your best to connect with her without inquiry. Allow your long bond to reconnect you. If she agrees, maybe you two can get close, and you can be a support to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel awkward when people ask me how much money I make. I recently got a new job at a large tech company as a vice president, and now many of my friends and family keep asking me how much I make. In my opinion, it’s always rude to ask how much money someone makes, so I always tell people that I’m not going to give them that information. The problem is that when I say that, people get visibly uncomfortable or make jokes about it. Some will say things like, “Oh, it must be a lot if you won’t tell us,” or “Must be nice!” Others push even harder and try to guess the number out loud. It turns what should be a celebratory moment in my career into something that feels tense and transactional. What makes it more complicated is that I didn’t grow up with much money, and I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am.

I’m proud of myself, but I also don’t want my income to change my relationships or make people feel insecure. At the same time, I don’t want to feel pressured into disclosing personal financial details just to ease others' discomfort at their own faux pas. How do I handle these conversations without coming across as secretive? -- None of Your Business

DEAR NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS: You do not have to succumb to their pressure. The best way to accomplish that is to accept that you are proud of where you are, and that’s enough. Deflect when people ask you. Say your parents always taught you not to talk about salaries. You can say you are grateful for your career and you continue to work hard for it. Then, pivot to another topic. Let them speculate. Unless your salary becomes public knowledge -- for example, if you work for a publicly held company in senior leadership -- that’s all they can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I are roommates. We share a lot, but now she’s encroaching on my friends. I know it sounds silly, but I’ve been struggling to find my next job, so at the moment I can afford only my rent and the bare necessities. I feel awful enough that I can’t afford to go out with my friends the way we normally do, but it's so much worse when she sweeps in and takes my place. It feels inconsiderate and almost tactical.

She never asks if I’d like to join, and sometimes she even tries to conceal who she’s meeting up with. In one instance, I realized she’d made plans with my friends only after she posted photos on social media. It left me feeling replaced and embarrassed, as if my absence had created an opening she was eager to fill. Am I being overly sensitive, or is it reasonable to set boundaries around friendships -- especially while I’m going through a vulnerable period? -- My Replacement

DEAR MY REPLACEMENT: Sit down with your sister and tell her how disappointed and hurt you are at her behavior. Remind her that she knows your financial circumstances and why you can’t hang out all the time. Ask her why she would think it was OK or kind for her to go out with your friends without you. Tell her how inconsiderate you think her behavior is. Suggest that she find her own friends and stop stealing yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband claims that he supports my career as a lawyer in big law; however, he gets irritated when I work late. He says he feels like I don’t have time for him and that I always put my job first over everything. I work extremely long hours, sometimes staying at the office past 9 or 10 p.m., and occasionally I even have to log back on once I get home. While I understand that my schedule isn’t ideal, it's still early in my career, and I feel a lot of pressure to prove myself and build a strong reputation at my firm.

Lately, his comments have started to feel less like concern and more like resentment. If I tell him I have to stay late, he’ll sigh, make passive-aggressive remarks, or become distant for the rest of the evening. On weekends, when I occasionally need to catch up on work, he seems annoyed before I even open my laptop. It makes me feel guilty for pursuing something I worked so hard to achieve. I love my husband and don’t want him to feel neglected, but I also don’t want to dim my ambitions or jeopardize my career trajectory. How do I balance my marriage and career? -- Off Balance

DEAR OFF BALANCE: Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Be transparent about what it will continue to take for you to grow in this career. Tell him that you want it but that you don’t want him to resent you along the way. Come up with ideas on how you can carve out time for each other. Point out that you will sometimes have to work on weekends and will continue to have to work late a lot, but you can still steal away for dates or plan date nights at home. Do your best to keep any time commitments with him and be fully present when you are together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For my recent 40th birthday, my mom gave me a gold ring that was my grandmother’s. My mom had worn it for the past 20 years, and I’d often told her that one day I would love for it to be mine. Unfortunately, I lost it within a week of wearing it. I needed to get it resized but hadn’t made the appointment yet. I have turned my house upside down looking for it. I’ve checked every sink drain, coat pocket, purse, even my car seats. I retraced my steps from the day I last remember wearing it. I called the few places I visited, and I even asked friends if they happened to see it fall off. I feel absolutely sick over this. The ring meant so much to my mom, and now I’m terrified to tell her it’s gone.

Part of me keeps hoping it will magically turn up somewhere, but another part knows I may have to accept that it’s really lost. I don’t know how to begin that conversation with her. I feel irresponsible and embarrassed, especially since she trusted me with something so sentimental. Should I tell her right away or wait a little longer in case it turns up? If it’s truly gone, how do I even begin to make this right? -- Devastating

DEAR DEVASTATING: Take a deep breath and tell your mother now. It will be hard. She will be hurt, but holding on to this information will not make it better. Tell her and deal with it together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)