DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel awkward when people ask me how much money I make. I recently got a new job at a large tech company as a vice president, and now many of my friends and family keep asking me how much I make. In my opinion, it’s always rude to ask how much money someone makes, so I always tell people that I’m not going to give them that information. The problem is that when I say that, people get visibly uncomfortable or make jokes about it. Some will say things like, “Oh, it must be a lot if you won’t tell us,” or “Must be nice!” Others push even harder and try to guess the number out loud. It turns what should be a celebratory moment in my career into something that feels tense and transactional. What makes it more complicated is that I didn’t grow up with much money, and I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am.

I’m proud of myself, but I also don’t want my income to change my relationships or make people feel insecure. At the same time, I don’t want to feel pressured into disclosing personal financial details just to ease others' discomfort at their own faux pas. How do I handle these conversations without coming across as secretive? -- None of Your Business

DEAR NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS: You do not have to succumb to their pressure. The best way to accomplish that is to accept that you are proud of where you are, and that’s enough. Deflect when people ask you. Say your parents always taught you not to talk about salaries. You can say you are grateful for your career and you continue to work hard for it. Then, pivot to another topic. Let them speculate. Unless your salary becomes public knowledge -- for example, if you work for a publicly held company in senior leadership -- that’s all they can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I are roommates. We share a lot, but now she’s encroaching on my friends. I know it sounds silly, but I’ve been struggling to find my next job, so at the moment I can afford only my rent and the bare necessities. I feel awful enough that I can’t afford to go out with my friends the way we normally do, but it's so much worse when she sweeps in and takes my place. It feels inconsiderate and almost tactical.

She never asks if I’d like to join, and sometimes she even tries to conceal who she’s meeting up with. In one instance, I realized she’d made plans with my friends only after she posted photos on social media. It left me feeling replaced and embarrassed, as if my absence had created an opening she was eager to fill. Am I being overly sensitive, or is it reasonable to set boundaries around friendships -- especially while I’m going through a vulnerable period? -- My Replacement

DEAR MY REPLACEMENT: Sit down with your sister and tell her how disappointed and hurt you are at her behavior. Remind her that she knows your financial circumstances and why you can’t hang out all the time. Ask her why she would think it was OK or kind for her to go out with your friends without you. Tell her how inconsiderate you think her behavior is. Suggest that she find her own friends and stop stealing yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband claims that he supports my career as a lawyer in big law; however, he gets irritated when I work late. He says he feels like I don’t have time for him and that I always put my job first over everything. I work extremely long hours, sometimes staying at the office past 9 or 10 p.m., and occasionally I even have to log back on once I get home. While I understand that my schedule isn’t ideal, it's still early in my career, and I feel a lot of pressure to prove myself and build a strong reputation at my firm.

Lately, his comments have started to feel less like concern and more like resentment. If I tell him I have to stay late, he’ll sigh, make passive-aggressive remarks, or become distant for the rest of the evening. On weekends, when I occasionally need to catch up on work, he seems annoyed before I even open my laptop. It makes me feel guilty for pursuing something I worked so hard to achieve. I love my husband and don’t want him to feel neglected, but I also don’t want to dim my ambitions or jeopardize my career trajectory. How do I balance my marriage and career? -- Off Balance

DEAR OFF BALANCE: Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband. Be transparent about what it will continue to take for you to grow in this career. Tell him that you want it but that you don’t want him to resent you along the way. Come up with ideas on how you can carve out time for each other. Point out that you will sometimes have to work on weekends and will continue to have to work late a lot, but you can still steal away for dates or plan date nights at home. Do your best to keep any time commitments with him and be fully present when you are together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For my recent 40th birthday, my mom gave me a gold ring that was my grandmother’s. My mom had worn it for the past 20 years, and I’d often told her that one day I would love for it to be mine. Unfortunately, I lost it within a week of wearing it. I needed to get it resized but hadn’t made the appointment yet. I have turned my house upside down looking for it. I’ve checked every sink drain, coat pocket, purse, even my car seats. I retraced my steps from the day I last remember wearing it. I called the few places I visited, and I even asked friends if they happened to see it fall off. I feel absolutely sick over this. The ring meant so much to my mom, and now I’m terrified to tell her it’s gone.

Part of me keeps hoping it will magically turn up somewhere, but another part knows I may have to accept that it’s really lost. I don’t know how to begin that conversation with her. I feel irresponsible and embarrassed, especially since she trusted me with something so sentimental. Should I tell her right away or wait a little longer in case it turns up? If it’s truly gone, how do I even begin to make this right? -- Devastating

DEAR DEVASTATING: Take a deep breath and tell your mother now. It will be hard. She will be hurt, but holding on to this information will not make it better. Tell her and deal with it together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are going on our eighth year of marriage. Last year, we experienced indiscretion for the first time -- to my knowledge, anyway. And as you can imagine, it was hard on us. My husband cheated on me with a co-worker. Apparently, it was a sort of work crush that spiraled. When I caught on, he claimed that they only fully crossed the line once. He also quit his job and got a new one.

After a couple of months apart, I chose to take him back, but if I’m being honest, I’ve been uneasy this past year. I’m always worried about what he’s doing when we’re not together, if he’s truly going where he says he’s going and whether it was just a one-time thing. I can’t tell if it’s my insecurities guiding me or my intuition. How do I know if he’s really changed or if he just got better at hiding his infidelity? How do I decide what to do with my marriage? -- Feeling Conflicted

DEAR FEELING CONFLICTED: Overcoming infidelity is not easy, but it sounds like your husband already made significant strides to prove that he chooses you over whatever happened with his coworker. Next, it would be great for you two to go to therapy together. Talk out what’s going on in your relationship with the support of a professional. Get to the bottom of the situation. Why did it happen? How can infidelity be avoided in the future?

Talk about your feelings, objectives and boundaries and how they were violated. Ask your husband to be willing to unmask his feelings with you so that you two can heal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son lives with bipolar disorder. All his life, his behavior has been a huge challenge -- for me as his parent and for his younger sister, who looked to him for guidance. Both my children are adults now, and while my daughter still lives with me, my son no longer does. Sometimes he will come by to visit, and as long as he maintains his medical regimen, things are good. When he is not medicated, though, he can be violent and extremely disruptive to our lives.

I know loneliness is a painful thing, so I want to continue to be here for him and make space for him in my life, but in the past six months alone, he has come by on at least three occasions in a manic state. When he’s like this, he is verbally abusive and can be quite menacing. Things have been this way for years. How do I continue to protect myself and my daughter while still embracing my son? Is there a way that my peace of mind and my son’s disorder can coexist? -- State of Mind

DEAR STATE OF MIND: The research I have read suggests that you have to demonstrate tremendous empathy and patience for people with bipolar disorder while also maintaining personal boundaries. You can require that your son take his meds in order to be allowed in your home. Contact local mental health services and form a plan of action for when he shows up manic. Over time, he will see that you are unwilling to take him in when he is potentially dangerous or violent.

Also make sure he knows you love him and want to be there for him. He just has to do his part. For more, visit ghs-hdf.org/parenting-an-adult-child-with-bipolar-disorder/.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)