DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently took out loans so I could go on a vacation. I know that sounds financially irresponsible, but I hadn’t gone anywhere in 10 years. I work paycheck to paycheck, and I needed a break from working all the time. For a moment, the trip made me feel human again, rested in a way I haven’t felt in years. Now that I’m home, reality has set in. I’m overwhelmed by guilt and anxiety about the debt I added to my already tight finances. I keep replaying the decision in my head, wondering if I was selfish for choosing rest over responsibility. At the same time, I can’t ignore how close I felt to breaking before I left, and I worry about what will happen if I never allow myself moments of relief.

I’m struggling to reconcile my need for rest with the constant pressure to make the “smart” financial choice. Was this a mistake I should regret, or is it OK to acknowledge that survival sometimes requires more than just paying bills? How do I move forward without punishing myself for finally choosing my own well-being? -- Riddled With Guilt

DEAR RIDDLED WITH GUILT: You already took out the loan and spent the money, so there’s no use beating yourself up over it. You made a decision that you thought would provide some relief for your stressed-out life. Did you enjoy your vacation? I hope so. Rather than spiraling out about how much money you spent, focus on the future. What can you do today to help improve your quality of life? While you cannot afford regular vacations, you can do things to take care of yourself. Schedule in some type of physical activity each week. Find free events in your town. Put yourself in social environments so that you can have a little fun. Find ways to smile, even as you map out a strategy to pay your bills and earn a living. Stop fretting about what was. Live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been tasked with a huge assignment at work, but I feel overwhelmed. I’ve felt this way for months, but I was able to skate by doing what I can without raising too many flags. Now that we have this major assignment, though, it is hard for me to avoid my workload. The spotlight is on me, and I feel like I don’t have the capacity to give my all to this project. We’re a small team, so I don’t feel like I have the option to share the workload with my boss or my colleagues. There’s no one else on the team who is available to take on this project. Do I have any other options? How do I get back to feeling motivated and capable of doing my best work? -- Burnout

DEAR BURNOUT: Your boss will appreciate the heads-up that you do not have the capacity to complete the work at hand. It’s much better to say something before you miss a deadline than to apologize after. Ask for help. Who knows what will happen? Perhaps your company can find interns or interim workers who can come in for a few days or weeks to help lighten the load. As uncomfortable as you may be in revealing your inability to get the job done, trust that a cry for help now is better than the alternative.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this lovely guy ... or so I thought. We met at a group gathering with mutual friends, and by the end of the night, the two of us were tucked away in our own corner. That same night, he texted me and asked if he could see me again at the end of the week. He sent a restaurant and a time and asked if that was OK with my taste and schedule. I agreed. Over the next few days, he texted and called me, and we had good conversations. It all felt so intentional.

On the night of our plans, I texted him to say I was on my way -- no response. When I arrived, I asked for a reservation in his name or mine -- neither existed. I called him again and got no answer. Since I was already out and dressed up, I decided to dine alone and give him the benefit of the doubt. The next day, he continued posting normally on social media and still has not issued an apology or even an excuse. What is the meaning of this? What would make someone show such deep interest just to stand me up? -- Table for One

DEAR TABLE FOR ONE: He sounds like a stalker or at least a manipulator. Perhaps it’s good that it ended before it started. Some behavior doesn’t make sense. While it was confusing and hurtful, don’t belabor this moment. Good for you that you took yourself out and had a nice meal. You were smart not to let him derail you. At the same time, it can make it hard to trust someone on a basic level when you have been ghosted for no apparent reason.

It sounds like you did all the right things. Maybe in the future if someone doesn’t confirm plans, don’t go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom can be moody, and when she’s in a bad space, it affects the entire household. This week, especially, she’s been off, giving me the silent treatment or speaking to me sharply for no clear reason. What’s hardest is that once my dad comes home from work, her mood suddenly shifts. She’s warm and upbeat with him, which makes it seem like I’m the one being difficult or withdrawn. I feel stuck carrying the emotional weight of her bad days, and it’s starting to wear on me. I’ve considered telling my dad what’s been happening, but I worry that it will create tension or feel like I’m betraying her. At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to quietly absorb this behavior and let it affect my joy. How do I protect my emotional well-being in a household where moods change so dramatically? Is telling my dad the right step or would it make things worse? -- Moody Mom

DEAR MOODY MOM: You should talk to your father about your mother’s behavior. You should not have to carry the burden of this on your own. Explain to him what has been happening, and ask for help. Tell him how hard it is for you to weather her bad days -- especially in contrast to how she perks up when he arrives at the end of the day.

Your mother might need medical attention. Perhaps your father can convince her to go to the doctor.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 40 years old, and I haven’t been able to find a job in a year. I have had to move back in with my parents, and it’s been a difficult time. I used to work for a good company; I had a great career, and I was doing well financially. I got laid off at the beginning of last year, and I haven’t had any luck in finding a new role. I’ve been applying everywhere, and I’ve even made it to multiple final rounds, but they have never ended up choosing me. Each rejection feels more personal than the last, and it’s starting to wear down my confidence. I wonder if my age is working against me or if something is wrong with me that employers aren’t saying out loud.

Living with my parents again has only added to the shame I already feel, and I find myself comparing where I am now to where I thought I’d be at this stage in my life. I’m trying to stay hopeful, but some days it’s hard just to keep applying when the disappointment feels endless. How do I cope with the emotional toll of long-term unemployment, and how do I rebuild my confidence when it feels like everything I worked for has slipped away? -- Out of Work

DEAR OUT OF WORK: Too many people echo your experience right now. That means you are not alone. There are many people who are unemployed or underemployed. What can you do? Look beyond your area of expertise. What else can you do? Think about every skill you have -- including labor. You may need to work in an area that is completely different for you, or maybe something you did years ago. Get creative.

Remember that as hard as this period of unemployment is, it is probably not because of something you did wrong. The economy is tough right now. Be grateful that your parents can allow you to live with them. Some people don’t have that. Do your best to stay positive. Find little things to be grateful for.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a party with a woman I went to high school with but haven’t seen in years. She spent most of the evening telling everybody who would listen embarrassing stories about me as a teenager. I was so mad. We were not friends back then, but we weren’t enemies either. Why would she choose to actively make me uncomfortable? We were at a party with a lot of people I know and a couple of mutual acquaintances. Now all of these people think differently about me because she told them about me during my most awkward days. How do I survive this? I feel like I don’t want to go around them anymore. -- Backlash

DEAR BACKLASH: Most people have uncomfortable stories of their youth. Don’t become attached to whatever she said. If someone brings up one of her stories, laugh it off by saying, “High school years can be awkward.” If you don’t make a big deal out of it, chances are, nobody else will either.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)