DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years now, and we have decided that we are ready for unprotected sex. With this decision came the discussion of birth control, which we both agreed on, and STI testing, which my girlfriend insists on. When she went to her birth control consultation, she says that she got tested “so we can start off on a clean slate,” and now she expects me to do so, too. Honestly, I get tested once a year as part of my routine wellness check, but I feel a little offended about how pushy she’s being with this. We’ve been in a committed relationship for this long. If she’s healthy, why would she assume I am not? This sort of feels like a test -- either to see if I’m not healthy when she is or to see if I hesitate or refuse to take the test. Either way, this feels like a lack of trust that I didn’t know existed. Am I looking at this wrong? -- Getting Tested

DEAR GETTING TESTED: Unprotected sex requires a deep level of trust and vulnerability. Don’t be offended. It’s great how responsible you are with your health in general. Many people do not get annual checkups, and a lot of people lie about their health.

Of course you hoped you already had that level of trust with your girlfriend. Take this as an opportunity to talk about expectations, commitment and the future with her. Talk to her about your values and boundaries as well as what you hope your life will look like with her. Your girlfriend may be letting stories she has heard about other people encroach on your relationship. Sit her down and remind her of your relationship, and invite her to trust that, not any outside forces -- but also go ahead and get tested for her peace of mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past two years, I’ve been working remotely for a tech company. While I’m grateful for the flexibility, my role requires little client engagement or team interaction. Most days, I work alone in silence, with limited conversation beyond the occasional virtual meeting. Recently, I’ve noticed something deeply unsettling: I’ve developed a stutter. I used to be confident and articulate, especially in professional settings, but now I struggle to get my words out smoothly. It feels like this extended period of isolation has taken a toll on my speech and my self-esteem. I’m embarrassed by it, and it’s starting to affect my pride and how I show up in conversations. How can I rebuild my confidence and communication skills? What steps can I take to undo the effects of so much solitude before this becomes permanent? -- My New Stutter

DEAR MY NEW STUTTER: You need to get out and be around other people. Consider signing up for Toastmasters, a longstanding organization that helps people to break through their shyness and become strong public speakers and communicators. This kind of practice can help you regain your confidence. Apart from that, putting yourself into any social environment should help, as it will make you talk.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old daughter has dyslexia; it has been difficult for her academically. Every night, she cries when she has to do her reading homework because she keeps getting words mixed up. I’ve tried to get her extra help by taking her to a dyslexia learning center, but she cries when she has to go there as well. She tells me it makes her feel “stupid” and different from the other kids.

I do my best to encourage her and remind her that she’s smart and capable, but nothing I say seems to stick. Lately, she’s started saying she hates school and worries that she’ll never be good at reading. She’s even begun comparing herself to her classmates and asking why learning seems so easy for everyone else. I’m torn between wanting to push her to keep getting the support she needs and worrying that I’m making things worse by forcing her into situations that cause her so much distress. How can I help my daughter build confidence and learn to cope with her dyslexia without making her feel overwhelmed or ashamed? -- Dealing With Dyslexia

DEAR DEALING WITH DYSLEXIA: Your local public school system should offer specialized programming and support for your daughter. Additionally, your daughter may need the resources of a specialized school to cultivate her abilities while in the company of other students who are learning to manage their challenges. If her current school is not properly equipped, you can research specialized schools in your area -- even if they are private schools -- and petition the local school system to pay for her to go there. It may take a large effort, but you may be able to get her the support she needs at no extra expense.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I quit my job to chase my entrepreneurial dream of owning a bakery. It took me 20 years to save up and to get the courage to quit my stable 9-to-5 job. I’ve been open about a year, and my bakery is failing. Despite my best efforts, I’m barely breaking even, and some months I’m losing money. I work long hours, often seven days a week, and I’ve poured not only my savings but my heart into this business. I believe in my product, and the customers I do have are loyal, but there just aren’t enough of them to keep the doors open comfortably. What makes this even harder is the fear of admitting defeat. My family and friends were so proud of me for finally taking this leap, and I feel embarrassed at the thought of telling them that things aren’t working out. I don’t know whether I should keep pushing and hope things turn around or accept that this dream may not be sustainable and walk away before I lose everything. How do I know when it’s time to hold on or when it’s time to let go? -- Life of an Entrepreneur

DEAR LIFE OF AN ENTREPRENEUR: Most entrepreneurs have ebbs and flows in their cash flow. Before you give up, go to your local small business administration office or business council. Often, you can get free business support and even referrals for emergency funds. Actively seek out help before you give up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother passed away earlier this year, and I’m still sad. She lived as long as she could with a smile on her face most times. I recently looked at photos of her over the past couple of years, and it broke my heart; she was so frail. We always thought she held on just to be able to be with us, her children and families and friends, but it was so hard for her. I’m feeling guilty for wanting her to live as long as she did. It feels selfish now. I also don’t want to live that long myself. If I’m ever just hanging out, I wish I could just die. Is that a horrible thought? I don’t feel depressed, just realistic. I fear that if I tell my family, it will make them worry about me. That’s not the point. How should I deal with these feelings? -- Living in Grief

DEAR LIVING IN GRIEF: Now is a good time to get some help. Grief counselors exist for the purpose of helping people work through their varied emotions during times of loss. Talk to someone who can help you process all that you have experienced with your mother’s loss. As you talk, be sure to address how you are feeling about yourself. If possible, do things today to protect yourself in your later years so that you have the resources and support that you need -- if you live that long.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a class reunion recently, and it was so weird. Everybody was acting like we all looked the same and were the same, but it was anything but true. It was our 25th anniversary, and we all seemed older. Some looked healthy. Others were frail. Some had aged dramatically. Some seemed only a few years older. Some were married, some single, some divorced, some widowed. I didn’t want to buy into all of the evaluations, but they were relentless. I did my best just to greet people and be together, but it was hard. I want to follow up with some of the people to touch base, but I don’t want to go back to those comparisons. How can I get some of my former classmates to be in the present moment? -- No More Nostalgia

DEAR NO MORE NOSTALGIA: Review your experience and pick out the people you would like to see again. If you have their contact information, reach out to get together. Have it in your mind that you will be in the present with them. Choose something you want to talk about that can bridge past and present. Think of things you would like to discuss. Start off easy. If they slip back in the past, remind them of current events to bring them forward. If they loathe how they look now compared to 25 years ago, remind them that they are still standing and living. You should all be grateful for where you are. If there’s work to be done -- health or otherwise -- go for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)