DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I met a man at work, and he introduced himself to me by telling me how beautiful I am and how much he admires me. In less than a month, I was his girlfriend. We are still together, but I have been hearing more and more rumors claiming that he said the same things to many of the women we work with. I never picked up on that before because he seemed so shy. I thought he put his nerves aside just for me, but apparently he asked out a large percentage of new hires. I guess I was the unlucky duck who gave him the time of day. He hasn't cheated on me or anything, but it's kind of embarrassing to know that this boyfriend of mine, whom I am so proud of, was behaving so desperately before I came along. Is this a vain reason to end our relationship? I feel like a laughingstock at work now. -- Laughingstock

DEAR LAUGHINGSTOCK: If you truly love this man, suck it up and look past how you got to this place. It can be unsettling to know that you fell for a line. Believe it or not, the pressure is on for men to know what to say to get women to give them the time of day. Many men have lines that they use over and over. Like fishing, occasionally they attract someone. If your co-workers hadn't witnessed his strategy, it would never have become an issue.

I can see how this is embarrassing, but again, if you like him, forgive the shy guy for using his one line on you. It has worked out for you both!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m struggling with my new assistant, who consistently seems distracted and disengaged at work. She rarely responds to emails or messages in a timely manner, and I often have to follow up repeatedly just to get basic updates on projects she’s responsible for. Tasks that should be straightforward take much longer than expected, and it’s starting to affect team workflow and my own stress levels. I’ve tried to be patient and supportive, assuming she might be overwhelmed or adjusting, but this has become a pattern rather than an occasional lapse. I don’t want to micromanage, yet I feel like I have no choice but to constantly check in just to ensure things are moving forward. I need her to be more focused, more proactive and more accountable for her responsibilities. How do I address this without sounding harsh or discouraging? At what point do I accept that this may not be the right fit? -- Micromanager

DEAR MICROMANAGER: Schedule a meeting with your assistant to review her work. Have a list handy of tasks she is supposed to accomplish and how she is managing them. Point out the areas that you find lacking, and ask her to explain herself. Let her know that if she cannot improve in those areas, you will have to let her go. Follow company protocol, but cut your losses as soon as you can if she is not performing to your satisfaction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my daughter asked me to tell her more about my early life. Over the years, I’ve made a point not to talk much about it, but now that she’s older and asking, I think it’s OK to share. When she asked me, I started off by explaining that I’ve never told her about my past because I didn’t have a happy childhood. The words were barely out of my mouth when my husband interrupted, insisting that happiness is subjective and that I should focus on the good life I have now. I hear what he’s saying, but he does this all the time. He accuses me of complaining or being ungrateful when I’m just sharing my truth. It’s instances like these that keep me from sharing about my childhood in the first place. I love my husband. I just wish he’d give me the space to vent or mourn or cry if I need to without his voice telling me to be strong. We’ve been married for decades. Is there any hope for change? -- Be Strong

DEAR BE STRONG: You need to handle these situations separately. With your daughter, take her out for a parent-daughter date and share whatever you want to tell her about your past. It’s OK to reveal hard truths about what you’ve gone through in your life. If possible, give context so you show her how your life has evolved from whatever happened, but don’t sugarcoat the truth.

With your husband, have a separate conversation and stand up for yourself. Let him know it bothers you when he interrupts you when you are sharing your truth. Make it clear that you believe your life experience is valid, and you do not appreciate him shutting you down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating long-distance for two years, and lately we’ve been talking about marriage and the future. I love where I live; I have my own home and a good job. He lives back home and has a job that he loves as well. Recently, it’s been a point of contention because he wants me to move back to our hometown so we can focus on the future together. While I understand everything he’s saying, I feel attached to everything I’ve built. He says relationships require sacrifice, but I can’t help wondering why the sacrifice feels one-sided. I don’t want to stall our future, but I also don’t want to resent him -- or myself -- down the line. How do I know when compromise becomes self-erasure? -- Figuring Out Our Future

DEAR FIGURING OUT OUR FUTURE: Your boyfriend is right: Relationships require sacrifice. You two will need to determine what sacrifices you are willing to make. If moving is a sticking point, you may be at a crossroads. I can tell you that I have met happily married couples who live in different states but see each other regularly. Anything is possible. In your case, though, it sounds like you will have to make a decision, and one of you will need to move -- or move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter’s best friend gets jealous of my daughter when she spends time with other friends, even though her best friend has other friends as well. If my daughter hangs out with classmates, teammates or family friends, her best friend becomes mean toward my daughter when she finds out. Sometimes she makes rude comments, and other times she gives my daughter the silent treatment.

I’m worried because this behavior seems emotionally unhealthy, and I can see it starting to affect my daughter’s confidence and happiness. My daughter now feels guilty for spending time with anyone else and has tried to avoid spending time with other friends so she doesn’t upset her bestie. I know teenage friendships can be intense and I don’t want to overreact, but I can’t watch my daughter go through this anymore. How can I help her set boundaries in this friendship, or should I tell her she shouldn’t be friends with her? -- Suffocating Friendship

DEAR SUFFOCATING FRIENDSHIP: This relationship is unhealthy. Talk to your daughter about pulling away from this girl -- at least for now. Point out how manipulative she is being and how sad it is making your daughter. Suggest that your daughter speak to her friend to say that she needs to stop seeing her for now. She loves her, but the friend’s attitude about other people in your daughter’s life make her unhappy.

With your help, your daughter should try to focus on her schoolwork and her other relationships. She may need to ignore this friend’s calls and do her best to block her out. It will be hard, and the friend could retaliate, so pay close attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Sometimes it feels like I have to beg for my boyfriend’s consideration. There have been times in the past when he’s been invited to a social function, a wedding or a birthday dinner, and he has not included me. Sometimes I’d wonder why he didn’t invite me to join, but more often I’d just assume it was a guys’ thing. It wasn’t until recently when we went out with some of his friends -- many of whom are in relationships -- that I’ve been labeled as the girlfriend who doesn’t come out much. It makes me curious: If everyone else in this close-knit circle is commonly showing up to these social events with their partners, what keeps my boyfriend from inviting me? I want to ask him, but I’m not sure I know how to navigate the conversation. -- Plus One

DEAR PLUS ONE: Tell your boyfriend what you heard his friends say, and ask him why he doesn’t invite you to many of the social events he attends. Point out that you would love to hang with him more, but he doesn’t often invite you. Press him to find out why. Ask him if he would consider inviting you in the future. Get him to talk. He might fear commitment. If his friends are headed toward marriage and he isn’t ready yet, he could feel this is too close. He might not have the funds to pay for two people all the time. The what-ifs are endless. That’s why you need to ask directly so you can find out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)