DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter’s best friend gets jealous of my daughter when she spends time with other friends, even though her best friend has other friends as well. If my daughter hangs out with classmates, teammates or family friends, her best friend becomes mean toward my daughter when she finds out. Sometimes she makes rude comments, and other times she gives my daughter the silent treatment.

I’m worried because this behavior seems emotionally unhealthy, and I can see it starting to affect my daughter’s confidence and happiness. My daughter now feels guilty for spending time with anyone else and has tried to avoid spending time with other friends so she doesn’t upset her bestie. I know teenage friendships can be intense and I don’t want to overreact, but I can’t watch my daughter go through this anymore. How can I help her set boundaries in this friendship, or should I tell her she shouldn’t be friends with her? -- Suffocating Friendship

DEAR SUFFOCATING FRIENDSHIP: This relationship is unhealthy. Talk to your daughter about pulling away from this girl -- at least for now. Point out how manipulative she is being and how sad it is making your daughter. Suggest that your daughter speak to her friend to say that she needs to stop seeing her for now. She loves her, but the friend’s attitude about other people in your daughter’s life make her unhappy.

With your help, your daughter should try to focus on her schoolwork and her other relationships. She may need to ignore this friend’s calls and do her best to block her out. It will be hard, and the friend could retaliate, so pay close attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Sometimes it feels like I have to beg for my boyfriend’s consideration. There have been times in the past when he’s been invited to a social function, a wedding or a birthday dinner, and he has not included me. Sometimes I’d wonder why he didn’t invite me to join, but more often I’d just assume it was a guys’ thing. It wasn’t until recently when we went out with some of his friends -- many of whom are in relationships -- that I’ve been labeled as the girlfriend who doesn’t come out much. It makes me curious: If everyone else in this close-knit circle is commonly showing up to these social events with their partners, what keeps my boyfriend from inviting me? I want to ask him, but I’m not sure I know how to navigate the conversation. -- Plus One

DEAR PLUS ONE: Tell your boyfriend what you heard his friends say, and ask him why he doesn’t invite you to many of the social events he attends. Point out that you would love to hang with him more, but he doesn’t often invite you. Press him to find out why. Ask him if he would consider inviting you in the future. Get him to talk. He might fear commitment. If his friends are headed toward marriage and he isn’t ready yet, he could feel this is too close. He might not have the funds to pay for two people all the time. The what-ifs are endless. That’s why you need to ask directly so you can find out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to go to trade school, but my parents don’t approve. They want me to enroll full-time at a traditional four-year college, but that’s not what I want to do. My parents worry that I’ll limit my future or miss out on opportunities if I don’t follow the path they envision. I know they want what’s best for me, but I feel frustrated and unheard. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I also don’t want to pursue a degree that doesn’t align with who I am or how I learn best. I feel drawn to the idea of hands-on work. I have a knack for car engines, and I think trade school will get me into the workforce without overwhelming student loan debt. How do I get them to see my side while still honoring their concerns? -- Less Beaten Path

DEAR LESS BEATEN PATH: Do some research on the potential earnings for the path you are interested in pursuing. What does working with your hands mean in this economy when so many things are run by computers and soon by AI? Find out what roles are out there that appeal to you and what the trajectory is for earnings and opportunities. This is good for you to know as you choose a field of interest. It will also help your parents see that you are serious and that you are thinking about the future strategically.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter lied to me about going away this weekend. She told me she was taking a road trip with a close friend of hers I am familiar with, which is why I felt at ease with the plan. My daughter told me that her older sister would be heading up to meet them later in the day to join them at the cabin. On the day of this road trip, my oldest daughter called me, and when I asked her if she was on her way to the cabin, she had no clue what I was talking about. My youngest daughter is only 18, and though I know she doesn't need my permission, her lying tells me that she's probably doing something she shouldn't be doing. We texted throughout the weekend. I wanted to know that she was safe and well, but I was too disappointed to call her. Why is she lying to me? What was she really doing if it wasn't the simple cabin trip that she told me about? Should I confront my daughter when she gets home or just allow her to be a teenager and ignore the fact that she lied to me? -- Cabin Trip

DEAR CABIN TRIP: You should talk to her about all of it. Start by giving her space to tell you the truth. Where did she go? What did she do? Who did she do it with? Ask her directly what she isn’t telling you. Let her know that you know her sister did not go with her. Ask her why she lied to you.

Although she is 18, if she is still living in your home, you can have ground rules. Telling the truth should be at the top of the list -- otherwise, maybe it’s time for her to think about being fully independent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a nice apartment building in Los Angeles, and it costs a lot of money to live here. Since I pay such a premium, you would think that my neighbors would all be respectful. However, my upstairs neighbor plays music so loud all the time, I can still hear his music at 2 a.m. I’ve asked him to turn down the music many times, and he refuses. I have contacted management, and they don’t do anything; I receive vague responses or no follow-up at all, and the noise continues as if no rules exist. I'm frustrated and starting to feel helpless in my own home. I work hard and pay my rent on time, and I expect to be able to sleep at night without a disruption.

I don’t want to be a difficult tenant, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect peace and quiet at 2 a.m. How do I handle this situation when official complaints have gone nowhere? At what point is it acceptable to escalate, and how can I protect my peace without creating an ongoing conflict with my neighbor or my building management? -- Can’t Sleep

DEAR CAN’T SLEEP: At this point, your neighbor has already created an ongoing conflict, so it is reasonable to involve the police. Most neighborhoods have noise ordinances. Check to see if there is one in place for where you live. You can also call 311 or visit lacity.gov/myla311 and report your concerns. Document as best you can when and how often your neighbor blasts music at night. The police should send someone to investigate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend wants us to go on vacation together, but I firmly believe that some friends aren’t good to travel with. I love her, but she often leaves the logistics of our plans up to me, and it’s frustrating. Whenever we make plans, whether it’s a day trip or even just a dinner, she always leaves the details up to me. When I go on vacation, I prefer for the other person to help with planning. I want traveling to feel like a shared experience, not another responsibility. She keeps pushing that we need to take a trip together, but I’m hesitant because I don’t know how to be honest without hurting her feelings or damaging our friendship. At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to myself to agree to something I know will be frustrating and emotionally draining.

I’m struggling to find a way to be honest without sounding critical or selfish. How can I communicate this boundary in a kind but firm way while still preserving the friendship and avoiding long-term resentment? -- Not My Travel Buddy

DEAR NOT MY TRAVEL BUDDY: You need to have an honest conversation with your friend. Tell her how you feel about how she expects you to handle everything and that you don’t like that. She does it all the time at home, so you expect she will want you to be in charge of everything on a trip, and that’s not fun for you. You already have long-term resentment; you need to address this directly so that you both can possibly move on from it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)