DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to go to trade school, but my parents don’t approve. They want me to enroll full-time at a traditional four-year college, but that’s not what I want to do. My parents worry that I’ll limit my future or miss out on opportunities if I don’t follow the path they envision. I know they want what’s best for me, but I feel frustrated and unheard. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I also don’t want to pursue a degree that doesn’t align with who I am or how I learn best. I feel drawn to the idea of hands-on work. I have a knack for car engines, and I think trade school will get me into the workforce without overwhelming student loan debt. How do I get them to see my side while still honoring their concerns? -- Less Beaten Path

DEAR LESS BEATEN PATH: Do some research on the potential earnings for the path you are interested in pursuing. What does working with your hands mean in this economy when so many things are run by computers and soon by AI? Find out what roles are out there that appeal to you and what the trajectory is for earnings and opportunities. This is good for you to know as you choose a field of interest. It will also help your parents see that you are serious and that you are thinking about the future strategically.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter lied to me about going away this weekend. She told me she was taking a road trip with a close friend of hers I am familiar with, which is why I felt at ease with the plan. My daughter told me that her older sister would be heading up to meet them later in the day to join them at the cabin. On the day of this road trip, my oldest daughter called me, and when I asked her if she was on her way to the cabin, she had no clue what I was talking about. My youngest daughter is only 18, and though I know she doesn't need my permission, her lying tells me that she's probably doing something she shouldn't be doing. We texted throughout the weekend. I wanted to know that she was safe and well, but I was too disappointed to call her. Why is she lying to me? What was she really doing if it wasn't the simple cabin trip that she told me about? Should I confront my daughter when she gets home or just allow her to be a teenager and ignore the fact that she lied to me? -- Cabin Trip

DEAR CABIN TRIP: You should talk to her about all of it. Start by giving her space to tell you the truth. Where did she go? What did she do? Who did she do it with? Ask her directly what she isn’t telling you. Let her know that you know her sister did not go with her. Ask her why she lied to you.

Although she is 18, if she is still living in your home, you can have ground rules. Telling the truth should be at the top of the list -- otherwise, maybe it’s time for her to think about being fully independent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a nice apartment building in Los Angeles, and it costs a lot of money to live here. Since I pay such a premium, you would think that my neighbors would all be respectful. However, my upstairs neighbor plays music so loud all the time, I can still hear his music at 2 a.m. I’ve asked him to turn down the music many times, and he refuses. I have contacted management, and they don’t do anything; I receive vague responses or no follow-up at all, and the noise continues as if no rules exist. I'm frustrated and starting to feel helpless in my own home. I work hard and pay my rent on time, and I expect to be able to sleep at night without a disruption.

I don’t want to be a difficult tenant, but I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect peace and quiet at 2 a.m. How do I handle this situation when official complaints have gone nowhere? At what point is it acceptable to escalate, and how can I protect my peace without creating an ongoing conflict with my neighbor or my building management? -- Can’t Sleep

DEAR CAN’T SLEEP: At this point, your neighbor has already created an ongoing conflict, so it is reasonable to involve the police. Most neighborhoods have noise ordinances. Check to see if there is one in place for where you live. You can also call 311 or visit lacity.gov/myla311 and report your concerns. Document as best you can when and how often your neighbor blasts music at night. The police should send someone to investigate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend wants us to go on vacation together, but I firmly believe that some friends aren’t good to travel with. I love her, but she often leaves the logistics of our plans up to me, and it’s frustrating. Whenever we make plans, whether it’s a day trip or even just a dinner, she always leaves the details up to me. When I go on vacation, I prefer for the other person to help with planning. I want traveling to feel like a shared experience, not another responsibility. She keeps pushing that we need to take a trip together, but I’m hesitant because I don’t know how to be honest without hurting her feelings or damaging our friendship. At the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to myself to agree to something I know will be frustrating and emotionally draining.

I’m struggling to find a way to be honest without sounding critical or selfish. How can I communicate this boundary in a kind but firm way while still preserving the friendship and avoiding long-term resentment? -- Not My Travel Buddy

DEAR NOT MY TRAVEL BUDDY: You need to have an honest conversation with your friend. Tell her how you feel about how she expects you to handle everything and that you don’t like that. She does it all the time at home, so you expect she will want you to be in charge of everything on a trip, and that’s not fun for you. You already have long-term resentment; you need to address this directly so that you both can possibly move on from it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son told me that he's in need of a laptop, as his old one broke down on him. I asked what was keeping him from getting a new one, and he shared that he didn’t want to overspend without saving up a bit longer. A couple of weeks went by, and I decided to give him more than half of the cost of the computer he wanted. I told him that I was giving him this money specifically for a laptop. It did not need to be the exact model he originally showed me; it could be more or less expensive -- totally up to him -- but I wanted to help him specifically with his computer because I knew that would be a huge weight off his shoulders.

It's been almost three months, and he still hasn’t gotten a laptop, but he's been shopping and going out more often. I don't want to control my son's spending, but I wonder if the money I gave him has gone to waste. I'd hate to think that he had taken advantage of my generosity. Am I wrong for wanting to know what he's done with the money? -- No Good Deed

DEAR NO GOOD DEED: It’s OK to confront your son about the computer. Ask him why he hasn’t purchased it yet. Listen for his answer. Note that you have seen him spending money more freely of late, and it makes you wonder if he used the money you gave him for a different purpose. Again, listen and learn.

In the future, if you want your son to use money in a specific way, keep control over it. For example, you could have gone with him to the computer store and paid them instead of him. Otherwise, you’ll have to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. Either way, there will be lessons learned.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at my wit’s end with one of my friends. Someone I consider a close friend often acts differently when we're around new or less-familiar friends. Sometimes he'll make me the butt of all his jokes or leave me out of things we'd normally do together. For a while, I tried to convince myself that I was overreacting or even misinterpreting things, but unfortunately, I don’t think I am. When it's just the two of us, we have a great time, but in larger groups, it feels like he prefers that I am the outcast and he is the center of attention.

The final straw was last week when we went out with some of his new colleagues. Upon arrival, he didn’t introduce me to anyone, so I had to make my rounds solo. When he did finally acknowledge me, he was either interrupting me or exaggerating old, embarrassing stories that new people didn’t need to hear. I tried talking to him about it that night, but he told me I was making something out of nothing. Should I bring it up again or trust my gut and create some distance? -- Two Faces

DEAR TWO FACES: This person is not acting like a friend. Call him on it. Give specific examples and ask him to explain himself. Tell him that if he cannot treat you with respect, you have no more time for him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)