DEAR HARRIETTE: I became a dad at a young age. I had my first daughter at 18 and my second when I was 22. When their mom and I broke up, the three of them moved out of state, so I've been a long-distance parent to my daughters for about six years now. I have them on holidays and summer break, but because of the distance, I often feel nervous or even awkward when they come to stay with me.

Growing up, I did not experience a lot of affection from my parents, and I realize I've carried that into my own parenting journey. How do I break past my nerves and let my guard down around my children? They're still young, so they don't seem to notice, but the anxiety is driving me crazy. I want to feel the same joy and level of comfort that other parents feel with their children. How do I create a better relationship with my daughters despite the distance? -- Better Dad

DEAR BETTER DAD: Kudos for wanting to strengthen your relationship with your daughters. Start by adding more interaction with them during the rest of the year. Schedule weekly video calls where you get to see and talk with one another. Be prepared to share simple things about your day and your life and ask them to do the same. It could be about school, extracurricular activities or anything else that’s going on in their worlds. Listen attentively, and don’t get upset when they don’t have time to talk to you. Just establish a rhythm and build from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is in an open relationship, but I can tell she's unhappy. When she first told me about it, I asked genuine questions out of curiosity, but she became defensive. She even tried to guilt me into being more progressive and "open-minded." I know that in this day and age, there is a whole new way to date, but as a mother, it seems like my daughter has agreed to this dynamic because she likes her boyfriend, not because she wants the option to experience others. She's in her mid-20s and has been with her boyfriend for almost two years now. The first year they were together, they were exclusive (supposedly), and then her partner suggested that they open things up.

I want to remind my daughter that she doesn't have to agree with anything just to please someone else, and that it's OK for her to change her mind along the way. How do I do this gently? We’ve always had a close relationship, so I want to be careful not to seem like I’m judging her. -- Open Mind

DEAR OPEN MIND: Check in with your daughter regularly. Don’t push, but do ask her how she’s doing and how she feels about their arrangement. You can let her know that if she ever feels uncomfortable with the terms of their relationship, she can speak up and change her involvement with her boyfriend.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERSHARRIETTE: For years, I used food as a coping mechanism. Whenever I was sad, stressed or heartbroken, I would overeat. I worked hard to break that habit, and I’m proud to say I have a much healthier relationship with food now. Lately, I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling low, I end up spending lots of money on clothes, shoes and little “treats” I convince myself I deserve. I feel happy in the moment, but afterward I usually feel stressed and disappointed in how much money I’ve spent. I’ve heard people joke about retail therapy, but I’m starting to worry this might be problematic. Is it possible to be addicted to shopping the same way people get addicted to food or alcohol? I don’t want to keep swapping out unhealthy habits. How do I get a better handle on my emotions so that I don’t turn to impulsive and irrational behavior for comfort? -- Retail Therapy

DEAR RETAIL THERAPY: The good news is that you see the pattern for yourself. Yes, shopping can be just as problematic as eating or drinking. If you have an addictive personality, you may be able to notice similar behavior in all kinds of activities, including playing video games, scrolling social media or binge-watching TV shows. Now that you’ve noticed it, do something about it: Get a therapist who can help you unpack your behavior and its root cause(s).

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received a facial from one of my friends, as she works at a spa. Everything went smoothly initially, though the next day I woke up and my skin was dry and peeling. I called her and asked what was happening to my skin. She asked what I had used on my skin the previous night, and I told her my nightly skin care routine, which includes retinols. When I told her this, she said that I wasn’t supposed to use a retinol. She never told me this information, and now I’m upset with her. I feel like she should have gone over what I should use afterward, especially since she knows I’m not a skin care expert and I trusted her professionally. My face was in pain, and it took days to calm down. On top of that, I feel awkward because this is my friend, not just some random aesthetician I could complain to without it affecting our relationship. I don’t know if I should confront her more seriously, ask for compensation or let it go for the sake of the friendship. Part of me worries I’ll sound dramatic, but another part feels like she was irresponsible and should be held accountable. Am I overreacting? How do I address this without either ruining our friendship or minimizing what happened to me? -- Bad Service

DEAR BAD SERVICE: As a friend and a client, you should give your friend feedback on her service, including her egregious error in not instructing you on how to care for your skin after a facial. Review with her what happened to you in the ensuing days and how disappointed you are in how she handled it. You can ask her how she handles such situations with clients and leave it up to her to take the next steps. If she doesn’t make good on this mistake, don’t go to her spa again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my wife is having bladder issues, but I imagine that may be a sensitive topic, so I’m not sure how to bring it up. Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed a change in how frequently she needs to use the restroom and the urgency she experiences. There have also been some instances where it seems like she didn’t make it to a restroom in time. For example, sometimes she’ll run into the house from running errands, but I can see that she’s already leaked a bit (or more than a bit). I don’t want to embarrass her by pointing out something that she may already feel insecure about, but I do want her to know that some of these changes come with age and are nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve looked up some solutions (like adult diapers or incontinence underwear), but I’m not sure of the best way to share them with my wife without bruising her ego. Any advice? -- Can’t Hold It

DEAR CAN’T HOLD IT: Tell your wife you need to discuss something sensitive with her. Mention that you have noticed that she seems to need to urinate more frequently and sometimes has little accidents. Tell her what you have found in your search for solutions; you might even buy some of the incontinence underwear for her.

Recommend that she see her internist to find out if she can do anything else about this issue. It could be that she has a temporary condition that can be addressed. Apologize if you have embarrassed her. Explain that you love her and want to make sure she is comfortable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate to admit it, but I have always been jealous of my best friend. We’ve been friends since high school; now we’re in our 50s, and I’m still jealous of her. She’s always been extremely beautiful, and she’s super smart. She and her husband are millionaires and have three amazing children. I, however, barely even make $40,000 per year, and I’m divorced. I truly love her and value our friendship, but I can’t deny that every time we talk, I feel a pit in my stomach. When she talks about her vacations, her beautiful home or how proud she is of her children, I smile and act happy for her, but inside I feel like a failure. I start comparing every part of my life to hers, and I always come up short. It makes me feel small, inadequate and ashamed of where I am in life. Sometimes I even find myself avoiding her calls or spending less time with her because I don’t like the person I become when I’m around her: resentful, insecure and bitter. I feel guilty because she has never been anything but kind and supportive of me. She doesn’t brag, she doesn’t flaunt anything and she has always been a good friend. The jealousy is coming entirely from me. How can I let go and enjoy our friendship without constantly feeling like I’m less than she is? -- Low Self-Esteem

DEAR LOW SELF-ESTEEM: Try to forgive yourself for your jealousy. Offer her blessings for the bounty of her life and ask for reminders to be grateful for what is yours. Live your life; stop trying to live hers. If you cannot, you will need to step away from her. It’s not fair to either of you to envy her and diminish yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)