DEAR HARRIETTE: When my husband and I first got married, we started off in Georgia. He wanted to go to medical school and was accepted to a school in Virginia. At this point, we already had our first child, but I wanted him to have the opportunity to achieve his dream, so I stayed in Georgia, and he went to Virginia. Along his med school journey, we got pregnant twice more. Managing a long-distance relationship and three children was hard on me, both mentally and financially.

When my husband was assigned residency at a hospital in Florida, I decided we should all be together. I moved there with our sons and high hopes. My husband completed his residency and decided to enlist in the military; now he must move to South Carolina. It has been nearly 10 years of him moving around and making decisions without considering me or our children. I fear that I should have put my foot down a long time ago. Truthfully, I am afraid to be a single mother, but now I face a harsh reality: Is it time for a divorce? -- On the Run

DEAR ON THE RUN: It is time for a serious conversation with him about his intentions. Have you ever asserted yourself and asked him to work with you to figure out your life together?

Since you are considering divorce, you may also want to talk to an attorney before you confront your husband. Find out your rights regarding whatever resources he has and what military benefits you may receive. If you end up leaving him, you want to make sure that you and your children are well provided for.

That said, talk to him about the future. Let him know how you feel about the moves and not being included in the decision-making. See what he has to say.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is going through some kind of religious awakening. I’m not exactly sure which religion or denomination she adheres to, but she now believes that all holidays are pagan. I haven’t done thorough research on where that belief stems from and what all it means, but for me, holidays are an opportunity for enjoyment, a time when people come together and celebrate something. Now my other friends and I are constantly being chastised and criticized -- pagan this, pagan that. I respect her beliefs, but they are not mine. I believe everyone is entitled to participate or not participate in whatever they choose. I just wish my friend would give everyone else that same respect. Should I lovingly try to correct my friend’s abrasive behavior or just create some distance for my own sanity? -- Holiday Differences

DEAR HOLIDAY DIFFERENCES: Sometimes when people convert to a religion, they fully immerse themselves and become judgmental of people who do not follow the same path. That can subside, which could happen in your friend’s case, but you don’t have to wait. Tell her that you and the rest of the friend group are increasingly more uncomfortable based on her judgments. Ask her to keep her thoughts about your behavior to herself. She can think whatever she wants, but if she would like to stay friends with you, she needs to stop criticizing you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter got married about a year ago and moved to New Jersey with her husband. He is from there, and his whole family lives in New Jersey as well. I have always been close with my daughter, so this has been a difficult transition for me because I live in Ohio. However, what has been even more difficult is how my daughter has started becoming extremely close with his family -- especially his mom. I’m glad that she’s getting along with his family, but I hate to admit that I am jealous. She goes to family dinners at her in-laws’ house almost every week, spends weekends with them and talks about how helpful and supportive they’ve been in her new married life. Meanwhile, I get phone calls only when she has time, and visits are rare and expensive.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve been replaced, even though I know that may not be fair. I don’t want to guilt her or make her feel bad for building relationships with her in-laws, and I don’t want to come across as needy or emotionally manipulative. I also don’t want to sit quietly with this painful feeling of being pushed to the sidelines. How do I cope with this jealousy and sadness? -- Jealous Mom

DEAR JEALOUS MOM: You must change your thinking. Be happy that your daughter is becoming close to her husband’s family. It could be different. Work hard to shift your jealous feelings to gratitude for her mother-in-law’s presence.

Separately, establish regular times for calls with your daughter -- weekly, if possible -- where you check in. You can let her know you miss her, but resist guilting her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find it hard to say no when people ask me to help them out. I created a consulting business so that people can hire me to provide these services, but nobody seems to want to pay. I have had friends get offended when I suggested that they should pay for the solutions I offer them. They think I should help them because I am kind, or I am their friend, or it’s not an actual thing to pay for as a product. How can I get people to take me seriously and pay for my expertise? -- Not For Free

DEAR NOT FOR FREE: You have to expand your network to people outside of your friend group. Potential clients are people who need your services and don’t imagine that they can have them for free. Invite friends and family who have been benefiting from your expertise to share with their friends and co-workers what you are doing. Create a flyer or an online presence that you can give to them to help spread the word. Point out what your services are and what they cost so that they can tell their associates.

As far as the group of people who are accustomed to complimentary services, you can either let them know that you will have to charge them to continue helping them or incentivize them by offering them free or discounted services if they bring in paying clients who hire you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three adult grandchildren I love and adore. Unfortunately, when they were growing up, I didn’t see them often; they lived three hours away from my husband, so I saw them only for the holidays. Now that they are adults, all three of them have moved across the country, which makes the three hours seem like nothing. I regret not making the drive to see them more or putting more effort in to see them outside of just the holidays.

I want to call my grandchildren, but they seem so busy with their jobs and friends. I don’t want to bother them or annoy them, but I think about them all the time, and I want to have a relationship where I am much closer to them all. I am worried that now that they have grown up, I might have missed my chance.

I also carry so much guilt. I wonder if they feel that I didn’t care about them when they were younger, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t want my attempts to reconnect to be overshadowed by awkwardness, guilt or distance that was created over their lifetimes. I want them to know how much I love them, how proud I am of them and that I still want to share a life with them, even if it looks different now. How do I connect with them without pressuring them or making them feel guilty for living their lives? -- Missing My Grands

DEAR MISSING MY GRANDS: Don’t lament the past. Think about the future. Invite your grands to join you on a video chat. Be attentive and let them tell you about their lives. If everybody likes it, invite them again in a couple of months. Perhaps you can establish a rhythm of communicating with them -- starting with every quarter. You can also send them texts with images or messages to stay in touch. Eventually, you could plan a trip to visit each of them and let them show you their lives now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my friends have partners, it seems, except for me. I haven’t found anyone who is my person, and I’m beginning to feel lonely and isolated. My coupled friends either spend time alone as couples or, increasingly, with other couples. That leaves me out. I get it, but I don’t like it. Do I have to find new friends? What if I never get a partner? Does that mean I will lose all my friends? What do I do? -- Single

DEAR SINGLE: A combination of what you were thinking is probably best, meaning you should expand your friend group AND tell your friends that you miss them and still want to hang out with them even though they are coupled. They may not all decide to include you, but you will have raised their awareness to the fact that they have not been inviting you to join them. It could simply be an oversight because they are thinking as twosomes now. Remind them that you love them and miss spending time with them. Don’t expect them to invite you to everything, but speaking up for yourself will likely bring some of them around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)