DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter got married about a year ago and moved to New Jersey with her husband. He is from there, and his whole family lives in New Jersey as well. I have always been close with my daughter, so this has been a difficult transition for me because I live in Ohio. However, what has been even more difficult is how my daughter has started becoming extremely close with his family -- especially his mom. I’m glad that she’s getting along with his family, but I hate to admit that I am jealous. She goes to family dinners at her in-laws’ house almost every week, spends weekends with them and talks about how helpful and supportive they’ve been in her new married life. Meanwhile, I get phone calls only when she has time, and visits are rare and expensive.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve been replaced, even though I know that may not be fair. I don’t want to guilt her or make her feel bad for building relationships with her in-laws, and I don’t want to come across as needy or emotionally manipulative. I also don’t want to sit quietly with this painful feeling of being pushed to the sidelines. How do I cope with this jealousy and sadness? -- Jealous Mom

DEAR JEALOUS MOM: You must change your thinking. Be happy that your daughter is becoming close to her husband’s family. It could be different. Work hard to shift your jealous feelings to gratitude for her mother-in-law’s presence.

Separately, establish regular times for calls with your daughter -- weekly, if possible -- where you check in. You can let her know you miss her, but resist guilting her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find it hard to say no when people ask me to help them out. I created a consulting business so that people can hire me to provide these services, but nobody seems to want to pay. I have had friends get offended when I suggested that they should pay for the solutions I offer them. They think I should help them because I am kind, or I am their friend, or it’s not an actual thing to pay for as a product. How can I get people to take me seriously and pay for my expertise? -- Not For Free

DEAR NOT FOR FREE: You have to expand your network to people outside of your friend group. Potential clients are people who need your services and don’t imagine that they can have them for free. Invite friends and family who have been benefiting from your expertise to share with their friends and co-workers what you are doing. Create a flyer or an online presence that you can give to them to help spread the word. Point out what your services are and what they cost so that they can tell their associates.

As far as the group of people who are accustomed to complimentary services, you can either let them know that you will have to charge them to continue helping them or incentivize them by offering them free or discounted services if they bring in paying clients who hire you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three adult grandchildren I love and adore. Unfortunately, when they were growing up, I didn’t see them often; they lived three hours away from my husband, so I saw them only for the holidays. Now that they are adults, all three of them have moved across the country, which makes the three hours seem like nothing. I regret not making the drive to see them more or putting more effort in to see them outside of just the holidays.

I want to call my grandchildren, but they seem so busy with their jobs and friends. I don’t want to bother them or annoy them, but I think about them all the time, and I want to have a relationship where I am much closer to them all. I am worried that now that they have grown up, I might have missed my chance.

I also carry so much guilt. I wonder if they feel that I didn’t care about them when they were younger, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t want my attempts to reconnect to be overshadowed by awkwardness, guilt or distance that was created over their lifetimes. I want them to know how much I love them, how proud I am of them and that I still want to share a life with them, even if it looks different now. How do I connect with them without pressuring them or making them feel guilty for living their lives? -- Missing My Grands

DEAR MISSING MY GRANDS: Don’t lament the past. Think about the future. Invite your grands to join you on a video chat. Be attentive and let them tell you about their lives. If everybody likes it, invite them again in a couple of months. Perhaps you can establish a rhythm of communicating with them -- starting with every quarter. You can also send them texts with images or messages to stay in touch. Eventually, you could plan a trip to visit each of them and let them show you their lives now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my friends have partners, it seems, except for me. I haven’t found anyone who is my person, and I’m beginning to feel lonely and isolated. My coupled friends either spend time alone as couples or, increasingly, with other couples. That leaves me out. I get it, but I don’t like it. Do I have to find new friends? What if I never get a partner? Does that mean I will lose all my friends? What do I do? -- Single

DEAR SINGLE: A combination of what you were thinking is probably best, meaning you should expand your friend group AND tell your friends that you miss them and still want to hang out with them even though they are coupled. They may not all decide to include you, but you will have raised their awareness to the fact that they have not been inviting you to join them. It could simply be an oversight because they are thinking as twosomes now. Remind them that you love them and miss spending time with them. Don’t expect them to invite you to everything, but speaking up for yourself will likely bring some of them around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom often criticizes me because I live an untraditional life, and it worries her at times. I understand she has good intentions, but I am too old for her to dictate the way I live. I am a digital nomad and have been traveling around Asia and Australia for the past three years. I work remotely and make enough to travel and even store some money away in savings. I decided I wanted to see the world and live a more carefree life when I turned 30, so I sold most of my belongings and set out to travel. My mom lived a simple life where she settled down young and had kids in her early 20s. I find nothing wrong with this, but it’s not the life that I wanted for myself. My mom calls me every single week asking me to come back to the United States and settle down; every single week I tell her no. The nagging is starting to get to be a lot, but I don’t want to stop taking her phone calls.

I love my mom so much and could never cut her off. How do I set boundaries with her while still having a good relationship? Is there a way to help her understand and respect my choices without feeling like I’m hurting or disappointing her? -- Mom Vs. Me

DEAR MOM VS. ME: Ask your mom to agree to just enjoy each other when you talk. Choose to discuss highlights. She can share about her week, and you can share about yours. Schedule when you will go home to visit so that she has that to look forward to. Would she ever come visit you? Perhaps that way she could see the way you live. Keep reinforcing storytelling as a means of being close to each other. Over time, she may begin to enjoy that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I are gearing up to celebrate our 50th anniversary! I'm so happy and so proud, but I don't know how to show it. We are planning a huge vow renewal ceremony and celebration with friends and family, but just like our wedding, she's doing most of the planning. I want to do something unique and special to show her that I am just as dedicated as her. I want this anniversary party to feel like a thank-you to my wife for her patience, partnership and years and years of loving me. Do you have any ideas of what I can do that will take my wife's breath away? -- 50 Years and Counting

DEAR 50 YEARS AND COUNTING: Can you access photographs from years past? If so, you can send them to a printer like Shutterfly and have an anniversary book created of images that outline your life.

You can also write your own vows. Take the time to think fully about the life you two have led. Write something heartfelt that you will read to her before folks gather that showcases your love for her.

You can take her on a dream vacation after the party that you schedule as a surprise. Just make sure other family members or loved ones are in on it so that her calendar will be clear.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)