DEAR HARRIETTE: My son rarely calls me or reaches out to me, and it makes me question whether I did something wrong raising him. He is now a sophomore at a college halfway across the country. I was sad to see him go away, but I assumed he would call me first sometimes. I thought wrong; if I want to hear from him, I need to call him. What hurts me the most is that when we do call, our conversations feel rushed, as if I’m interrupting his life rather than being a part of it. I try not to sound like a needy parent, but I can’t shake the feeling that I care about him way more than he cares about me.

I find myself replaying old moments from his childhood, wondering if I did a poor job raising him and that’s why he doesn’t call. I am, however, proud of the independent young man he’s becoming, and I know college is a time when friendships, classes and new experiences take priority. Still, I didn’t expect to feel this invisible. I don’t want to guilt him or make him feel pressured to check in, but I don’t want to quietly accept a relationship that feels one-sided and transactional. How do I keep a healthy relationship with my son during this stage of his life without pushing him away or blaming myself for something I may not have done wrong? -- No Contact

DEAR NO CONTACT: Find a moment when you think your son is paying attention, and tell him that you wish he would call you more. Tell him you miss him and want to maintain a close relationship with him. All you can do is be honest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don’t like the current dating culture. Everybody seems to be on dating apps, but where does it get you? My latest bomb was going out with a guy who said he liked to drive around to see the sights in my college town. That was OK and different until I realized that all he really wanted was to hook up. I know that’s kind of how it is these days, but I would like more than casual sex. Turns out, he was cheaper than most in that he didn’t spend one dollar on me before sex -- well, except for however much gas he used. I can’t be mad at him. I did it, but I don’t like it. I want more. -- No More Hookups

DEAR NO MORE HOOKUPS: Set your priorities clearly for yourself and make them known to anyone you may potentially date. You probably have to look beyond dating apps as most people say they are best for casual encounters these days. Go back to the old-fashioned way of putting yourself out there in social settings and meeting new people. Don’t do more than you feel comfortable doing, regardless of what your suitor says. Tell a date early on what you are looking for in your life, and find out if your desires match or are even close. If they are not, walk away before you catch feelings for someone who does not share your interests. (Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got cast on a game show that I’ve watched for years and I’ve always wanted to be on! This is a dream come true and very exciting; however, filming it takes about 45 days. I don’t have enough vacation time from my job, so if I go on the show, I would have to quit my job. I didn’t think that I would get this far in the casting process, so I never thought about what I would do if I got chosen to be on the show. I can always get a new job, but I have been working at this company for seven years, and I really like it here. Plus, the job market is tough right now, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get another job easily after filming the show.

I feel torn between being practical and taking a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I might regret passing up forever. Part of me worries that choosing the show would be irresponsible and set me back financially and professionally, while another part of me feels like opportunities like this don’t come around twice. How do I decide what the right move is when both options feel risky in different ways? -- Wanna Play

DEAR WANNA PLAY: Have you spoken to anyone at your company about this? You say you have worked there for seven years. Speak to your supervisor and explain your dilemma. Express your astonishment at being selected and your heartfelt desire to go for it. Ask if there is any way you could take unpaid leave from work to go. Be clear that you love your job and don’t want to lose it, but you would also love the chance to be on this show.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I overheard my boyfriend on the phone with his parents having an intense discussion about his current job and future. His parents were asking him if and when he plans to go back to college and complete his bachelor’s degree. Apparently, according to his parents, this current job promised him a raise upon achieving his bachelor’s and an additional raise six months thereafter. My boyfriend got defensive, telling his parents to butt out, saying that he’ll find his own way to make more money. They sounded disappointed, and I have to say that I am, too. My boyfriend already completed nearly three years’ worth of a bachelor’s program, and honestly, a raise would be great for him. I worry that his stubbornness will hold him back. This wasn’t even a conversation I was meant to hear, but if I’m concerned, should I bring it up anyway? -- The Future

DEAR THE FUTURE: Chances are, your boyfriend will balk if you bring up what you heard. Instead, talk to him about his dreams for the future, and share yours. What do you hope to do careerwise, in your relationship and so forth? Do you plan to continue your education? If so, what does that look like? Do you ever want to get married? What does marriage look like to you? Ask him the same.

Get him to open up about his dreams and how he might manifest them. From a hopeful stance, you can then ask him about education. Notice the red flag: His parents are urging him to get his degree, and he’ll get a raise if he does it, yet these incentives are not working, so what does that mean for you? How motivated is he?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I got into a fight, and I feel like it revealed a lot about what he thinks about me. For context, I was going on a work trip for two days, and I asked my husband if he could take care of the dog and be there when the handyman came over to fix our bathroom sink. I had already scheduled the time when the handyman was going to come and had the money laid out for payment. My husband said it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of issues around the house or our dog. He wanted to go to hang out with his friends instead. What hurt the most wasn’t just that he said no to helping out while I was gone, but how he dismissed something that felt like a normal part of being married. It made me feel like he believes the responsibilities of our home and shared life are all my job, and that my work matters less than his social plans.

Now I’m questioning whether this is about one argument or an imbalance in how we view responsibility, respect and teamwork in our marriage. Am I overreacting, or is this a red flag that I shouldn’t ignore? -- Taken for Granted

DEAR TAKEN FOR GRANTED: I spoke to a matrimonial lawyer who told me that, going into marriage, couples need to be aware of partners who are potential gold diggers or labor diggers. The latter are people who expect their partner to do most of the labor in the relationship without either compensation or appreciation of the value of that service. She cautioned that this happens often for women who handle most -- if not all -- of the household duties. There is tremendous value in that work, and it should be acknowledged.

Yes, you should speak to your husband about how he reacted to your request. If you have been handling all the household duties all along, he may be surprised at your reaction. Talk to him. Help him to understand your desire for the two of you to share family duties. This may not be easy to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Earlier this year, I started taking myself out for solo dates here and there. I’d take myself out for drinks or for dinner. I didn’t mention it to my husband because I didn’t want him to invite himself to join. We share our mobile locations with each other, though, so I thought it was OK. Turns out, my husband has been suspicious of my evenings away and is now accusing me of being unfaithful. I told him the truth of the matter, but he doesn’t believe me. He’s left our home to stay with his brother, and I feel alone. He keeps asking me to admit what I’ve done, but there’s nothing to admit. I’ve suggested we try couples therapy, but he insists that if I just admit it, he will forgive me and we could move on without professional help. What should I do about my marriage? Before now, I never realized he didn’t trust me. -- Admit It

DEAR ADMIT IT: Why did you not want to go out with him? Maybe that’s what you need to talk about. Explain that you thought he would bulldoze his way into going with you if he knew, and add why you want to do things like that solo. Go deep in discovering and sharing what’s going on with you. Your honesty may get him to believe you. If you continue these solo outings, it might be best to be upfront with him as they happen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)