DEAR HARRIETTE: My colleague has a tendency to be unapologetically late, and I can’t stand it! We’ve traveled together in the past for work, and I have seen firsthand how careless he can be with his time -- even for work functions.

We are more friends than colleagues now, so as I began planning a birthday trip for myself, I had to decide if I wanted him there. Despite my reservations, I invited him to celebrate with me. During the trip, he held up the group on two specific occasions. One time he even caused us to miss a reservation completely. I still enjoyed the trip overall, but he never even had the decency to apologize to my other friends. How can I address this issue with him? I love him, but I shouldn’t have to put up with this going forward. -- Poor Tendencies

DEAR POOR TENDENCIES: I’m sorry, but you can’t blame your friend for being himself. If you have fretted over his lateness to yourself (or others) but have not talked to him about it, you can’t expect him to even know that you are upset about it. He is late. What consequences has he had to endure because of it?

You invited him to come to your birthday knowing that he would probably be late but without talking to him about it. This is on you. Yes, you can talk to him, but be mindful not to blow up and tell him about all of the years of being late that have impacted you. You might even apologize for not addressing this in the past. Then tell him that his lateness is a problem for you and it negatively impacted your trip. Ask him to try to do better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my children are not speaking to each other. As far as they’ve told me, they’re in a spat over money, and I’m worried. My older daughter got into a car accident while driving my younger daughter’s car. The damage amounted to a few thousand dollars, and my older daughter did not want to pay for it. I offered to cover the expenses in hopes that it would settle the dust between them, but it didn’t. My youngest feels that her sister should’ve at least offered to help cover the costs and accuses her sister of always being careless. She told me that she’s tired of “always having to clean up her messes.” I’ve reminded her that a car accident could have happened to anyone, but she hasn’t budged. I don’t want my girls fighting or not talking to each other. Is there something else I can do to mediate more effectively? -- Middle Man

DEAR MIDDLE MAN: Why are you ready to sweep your older daughter’s irresponsibility under the rug? If she had an accident, she should pay for it. Her sister is absolutely right about this. It is time to hold your older daughter accountable. Has this type of thing happened before? Perhaps your youngest daughter is fed up with you taking care of her sister’s mistakes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has gotten ahold of my credit card information and has been using it excessively and without my permission. He is 23 years old. He has a job and lives on his own. This feels like a violation to me, but my husband thinks I am overreacting and that my son probably thought it was OK. From what I’ve gathered, it seems like he has my information attached to his tap-to-pay because he’s used it for in-person purchases. This feels deliberate to me. He’s purchased groceries, takeout, gas, movie rentals and more. This feels grossly irresponsible for a young adult. I want to cut him off completely, but it’s not just about the money. What should I do about this level of dishonesty? I don’t want to treat my son like a criminal, but I don’t ever want him to take from anyone -- including me -- and think it’s OK. -- Teach Him a Lesson

DEAR TEACH HIM A LESSON: Don’t assume the worst. Instead, talk to him. Tell him you realize that he has been using your credit card. Note the variety of purchases that have shown up on your bill. Ask him why he is doing this. Listen to his response. Perhaps you gave him the number once and he kept it on file. Tell him that you no longer want him to use your credit card information without asking you first. Remind him that he is a young adult with a job and an independent life. If he needs your help, he must ask.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been ghosted like this before, and I don’t know what to do. I was dating a guy for a few months. Things were nice, though he was a bit moody and would disappear for weeks sometimes. Mainly we talked a lot on the phone and saw each other a couple of times a week. We got into an argument a few weeks ago, and I was sharp with him. He got mad that I dared challenge him about his behavior. Next thing you know, he ghosted me. I’m pretty sure he blocked me on social media because I see old stuff but nothing new. He doesn’t call me at all. It’s like he is punishing me because he was rude to me and I called him on it. I know I should just let this go, but my feelings are hurt, and I can’t believe he did that. I am a nice person, and I treated him well. Why would he do that to me? -- Ghosted

DEAR GHOSTED: This type of thing has happened to a few readers who have written in recently. All I can say is that sometimes you won’t be able to figure out why people do things, especially if they choose to stop communicating with you. Rather than continuing to wonder and doubt yourself, move on. Fill your time with positive, constructive activity. Do your best not to sit around brooding. Choose to take care of yourself instead. Exercise. Eat healthy. Go out with friends. Put yourself in social settings with other people, and decide you will have fun. When you start to think about him, change the subject in your mind. You can do it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I were talking recently, and she made a comment about my daughter that caught me off guard. It wasn’t outright cruel, but it was insensitive: She implied that my daughter was “a lot to handle” and hinted that her behavior made it difficult for people to be around her. I know kids can be overwhelming at times, and I’m not blind to the fact that my daughter has her moments, but the way she said it felt judgmental -- almost like she had been holding this opinion for a while and finally let it slip. It really hurt my feelings. I didn’t say anything in the moment because I was shocked and didn’t want to escalate things, but now I keep replaying it in my head.

To make things worse, my friend has been acting like nothing happened. She texts me casually, asks to hang out and seems completely unaware of how her comment landed. I don’t want to let resentment build, but I also don’t want to start a fight, especially over something involving my child. How do I bring this up without making the situation more tense? How do I communicate that comments about my daughter cross a line, even if she didn’t mean to hurt me? -- About My Daughter

DEAR ABOUT MY DAUGHTER: Why not start by asking your friend to explain her concerns about your daughter? It must have taken a lot for her to say anything to you. There’s a possibility that she has observed behavior that is legitimately concerning. Give her space to tell you what worries her. Do your best to listen and not lash out.

You can also tell your friend that it hurt your feelings that she seemed to be judging your daughter and that it was hard to hear what she was saying. Sometimes, we need to hear how others perceive our children. You can decide what you do with your friend's insights, but hear her out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone asked me if I am always on overdrive. She followed up by saying it seems I always have a million things to do and I never take a break. That’s almost true. Right now, I’m doing everything I can to earn enough money to take care of my family. Even with all this effort, it doesn’t seem to be enough. It didn’t help to have someone point out that I don’t stop. How can I? I don’t want to lose my apartment or be unable to pay for food or any of the other basics. Right now, though, it’s hard to keep my head above water. How can I relax when this is what I’m dealing with? -- Overwhelmed

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Believe it or not, this might be a perfect time to step back -- just for a moment. Get still. Take the time to breathe deeply and assess your situation. Notice everything around you. What can you do differently? What resources are available to you that may be of help? Try to let go of the fear and open your eyes to the possibilities. Someone or something may reveal itself to you if you look at your life differently. Faith helps here. Your hard work coupled with the belief that great things are on their way may fuel you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)