DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has gotten ahold of my credit card information and has been using it excessively and without my permission. He is 23 years old. He has a job and lives on his own. This feels like a violation to me, but my husband thinks I am overreacting and that my son probably thought it was OK. From what I’ve gathered, it seems like he has my information attached to his tap-to-pay because he’s used it for in-person purchases. This feels deliberate to me. He’s purchased groceries, takeout, gas, movie rentals and more. This feels grossly irresponsible for a young adult. I want to cut him off completely, but it’s not just about the money. What should I do about this level of dishonesty? I don’t want to treat my son like a criminal, but I don’t ever want him to take from anyone -- including me -- and think it’s OK. -- Teach Him a Lesson

DEAR TEACH HIM A LESSON: Don’t assume the worst. Instead, talk to him. Tell him you realize that he has been using your credit card. Note the variety of purchases that have shown up on your bill. Ask him why he is doing this. Listen to his response. Perhaps you gave him the number once and he kept it on file. Tell him that you no longer want him to use your credit card information without asking you first. Remind him that he is a young adult with a job and an independent life. If he needs your help, he must ask.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been ghosted like this before, and I don’t know what to do. I was dating a guy for a few months. Things were nice, though he was a bit moody and would disappear for weeks sometimes. Mainly we talked a lot on the phone and saw each other a couple of times a week. We got into an argument a few weeks ago, and I was sharp with him. He got mad that I dared challenge him about his behavior. Next thing you know, he ghosted me. I’m pretty sure he blocked me on social media because I see old stuff but nothing new. He doesn’t call me at all. It’s like he is punishing me because he was rude to me and I called him on it. I know I should just let this go, but my feelings are hurt, and I can’t believe he did that. I am a nice person, and I treated him well. Why would he do that to me? -- Ghosted

DEAR GHOSTED: This type of thing has happened to a few readers who have written in recently. All I can say is that sometimes you won’t be able to figure out why people do things, especially if they choose to stop communicating with you. Rather than continuing to wonder and doubt yourself, move on. Fill your time with positive, constructive activity. Do your best not to sit around brooding. Choose to take care of yourself instead. Exercise. Eat healthy. Go out with friends. Put yourself in social settings with other people, and decide you will have fun. When you start to think about him, change the subject in your mind. You can do it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I were talking recently, and she made a comment about my daughter that caught me off guard. It wasn’t outright cruel, but it was insensitive: She implied that my daughter was “a lot to handle” and hinted that her behavior made it difficult for people to be around her. I know kids can be overwhelming at times, and I’m not blind to the fact that my daughter has her moments, but the way she said it felt judgmental -- almost like she had been holding this opinion for a while and finally let it slip. It really hurt my feelings. I didn’t say anything in the moment because I was shocked and didn’t want to escalate things, but now I keep replaying it in my head.

To make things worse, my friend has been acting like nothing happened. She texts me casually, asks to hang out and seems completely unaware of how her comment landed. I don’t want to let resentment build, but I also don’t want to start a fight, especially over something involving my child. How do I bring this up without making the situation more tense? How do I communicate that comments about my daughter cross a line, even if she didn’t mean to hurt me? -- About My Daughter

DEAR ABOUT MY DAUGHTER: Why not start by asking your friend to explain her concerns about your daughter? It must have taken a lot for her to say anything to you. There’s a possibility that she has observed behavior that is legitimately concerning. Give her space to tell you what worries her. Do your best to listen and not lash out.

You can also tell your friend that it hurt your feelings that she seemed to be judging your daughter and that it was hard to hear what she was saying. Sometimes, we need to hear how others perceive our children. You can decide what you do with your friend's insights, but hear her out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone asked me if I am always on overdrive. She followed up by saying it seems I always have a million things to do and I never take a break. That’s almost true. Right now, I’m doing everything I can to earn enough money to take care of my family. Even with all this effort, it doesn’t seem to be enough. It didn’t help to have someone point out that I don’t stop. How can I? I don’t want to lose my apartment or be unable to pay for food or any of the other basics. Right now, though, it’s hard to keep my head above water. How can I relax when this is what I’m dealing with? -- Overwhelmed

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Believe it or not, this might be a perfect time to step back -- just for a moment. Get still. Take the time to breathe deeply and assess your situation. Notice everything around you. What can you do differently? What resources are available to you that may be of help? Try to let go of the fear and open your eyes to the possibilities. Someone or something may reveal itself to you if you look at your life differently. Faith helps here. Your hard work coupled with the belief that great things are on their way may fuel you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to a dog park weekly, and there’s one dog owner who keeps letting their dog jump all over me and my dog, even though I’ve repeatedly tried to set boundaries. I’ve politely asked them to control their dog, and I’ve even stepped in front of my dog to block the other dog when it gets too rough, but nothing seems to stick. Every time it happens, the dog owner laughs it off and says, “Oh, he’s just excited!” or “He doesn’t mean anything by it,” but I feel disrespected, and my dog seems stressed by the repeated interactions. What makes it worse is that the other regulars at the park also laugh it off, so I start to feel like I’m the one overreacting. I love going to the dog park, and I enjoy socializing, but this situation has made it stressful, and I’m starting to dread attending. I want to continue enjoying the park without constantly worrying about someone ignoring my boundaries. How can I assertively and politely handle this situation so that my dog and I are respected without seeming like I’m overreacting or creating unnecessary tension with the other dog owner? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Can you bring a shield of some kind that you can hold up between you and this dog the next time it lunges at you or your dog? That may seem extreme, but it should get the point across that you aren’t allowing this behavior anymore. Follow up by telling the dog owner you have had enough. Demand more insistently that the dog needs to be controlled.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends recently got divorced. In the process, she talked to me and my husband about her troubles so much that it seems like they may have rubbed off on us. Now my husband and I are bickering constantly, though we never did that before. How can we get back to the peacefulness that we once had, now that our friend’s trauma has disrupted it? -- Reconnection

DEAR RECONNECTION: It starts with the recognition that you just mentioned: You both see that you were influenced by your friend’s divorce. See that for what it is and turn back to each other. Remind yourselves that your marriage is uniquely your own. Go back to doing things together that you once loved. Stop talking to other people about their marriages, and definitely do not talk to anyone else about yours.

Turn to each other for insight, understanding and love. When your friend comes up in conversation, accept that her marriage problems may have impacted you, but that doesn’t have to be true any longer. Work to see each other for who you are. Remember how you behave and what your strengths and challenges are. Agree to deal with your issues together, and do your best not to superimpose others’ behavior on each other. Give yourselves the benefit of the doubt. Choose to love and nurture each other. Make that choice every day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)