DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to a dog park weekly, and there’s one dog owner who keeps letting their dog jump all over me and my dog, even though I’ve repeatedly tried to set boundaries. I’ve politely asked them to control their dog, and I’ve even stepped in front of my dog to block the other dog when it gets too rough, but nothing seems to stick. Every time it happens, the dog owner laughs it off and says, “Oh, he’s just excited!” or “He doesn’t mean anything by it,” but I feel disrespected, and my dog seems stressed by the repeated interactions. What makes it worse is that the other regulars at the park also laugh it off, so I start to feel like I’m the one overreacting. I love going to the dog park, and I enjoy socializing, but this situation has made it stressful, and I’m starting to dread attending. I want to continue enjoying the park without constantly worrying about someone ignoring my boundaries. How can I assertively and politely handle this situation so that my dog and I are respected without seeming like I’m overreacting or creating unnecessary tension with the other dog owner? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Can you bring a shield of some kind that you can hold up between you and this dog the next time it lunges at you or your dog? That may seem extreme, but it should get the point across that you aren’t allowing this behavior anymore. Follow up by telling the dog owner you have had enough. Demand more insistently that the dog needs to be controlled.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends recently got divorced. In the process, she talked to me and my husband about her troubles so much that it seems like they may have rubbed off on us. Now my husband and I are bickering constantly, though we never did that before. How can we get back to the peacefulness that we once had, now that our friend’s trauma has disrupted it? -- Reconnection

DEAR RECONNECTION: It starts with the recognition that you just mentioned: You both see that you were influenced by your friend’s divorce. See that for what it is and turn back to each other. Remind yourselves that your marriage is uniquely your own. Go back to doing things together that you once loved. Stop talking to other people about their marriages, and definitely do not talk to anyone else about yours.

Turn to each other for insight, understanding and love. When your friend comes up in conversation, accept that her marriage problems may have impacted you, but that doesn’t have to be true any longer. Work to see each other for who you are. Remember how you behave and what your strengths and challenges are. Agree to deal with your issues together, and do your best not to superimpose others’ behavior on each other. Give yourselves the benefit of the doubt. Choose to love and nurture each other. Make that choice every day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends are extremely cheap, and it’s getting to the point where it’s hard to enjoy doing anything with them. We all live in New York City, and as you know, the cost of simply existing here is high. Yet they complain about every price tag, subway fare or coffee that costs more than $3, even splitting an Uber when it’s pouring outside. The other night we went to a casual restaurant where the average entree was around $20, which, for NYC, is honestly pretty reasonable. They acted like the prices were outrageous and spent half the meal whispering about how “expensive” everything was. It was uncomfortable, and I felt guilty ordering what I wanted.

I understand wanting to save money, but their constant complaining makes any outing feel stressful and joyless. I end up feeling like the bad guy for wanting to do normal things that aren’t dirt cheap. I’ve tried suggesting more affordable spots, but even then, they nitpick. It’s starting to feel like I either have to limit what I do or limit my time with them. I really care about them, but I’m exhausted from always having to consider their financial grumbling. How do I bring this up without sounding insensitive or like I’m shaming them for budgeting? -- Too Cheap

DEAR TOO CHEAP: Could it be that your friends cannot afford to be in NYC? You all are living and working here. How different are your incomes? They could just be complainers -- or they may truly not be able to afford life in the city.

You may need to decide that you will do super affordable things when you spend time with them and expand your circle to explore pricier experiences with different people. What’s great about NYC is how dynamic it is. You can find ways to explore your more-expensive interests with other people while remaining friends with these two, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I complain about my husband too much. I was just talking to my sister when he did something in the background that annoyed me, and I reacted. She then said she was amazed that I am still married to him, given that I have nothing good to say about him at all. I don’t mean to talk about him badly, but he is not nice to me, and I’m fed up. At the same time, I cannot afford to leave him. We barely have enough money together to pay our bills, and we are close to retirement age. I don’t know how I would survive if I left him now. Still, she got me thinking. What can I do differently so that I’m not constantly complaining? -- No Joy

DEAR NO JOY: Decide that you are going to be happy and that you are going to find a source of joy each day. Include him in that search for joy. What kind words can you offer him? What genuine compliment can you offer him? What expression of gratitude can you include him in? Be vigilant about choosing to recognize and nurture joy in your life. Catch yourself before complaints come spewing out of your mouth. Practice expressing gratitude, and watch to see if your relationship softens at all.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend expects me to handle every single detail whenever we hang out: choosing the activity, making the reservations, checking hours and figuring out travel time. The moment we decide to do something, she defaults to, “You pick!” or “Just tell me where to go!” I’ve told her multiple times, in clear and honest ways, that I don’t enjoy being the one in charge of all the planning every time. I’ve explained that it stresses me out because I feel responsible for making sure everything goes smoothly, and it would really help if we could take turns or at least decide things together. She laughs it off, says I’m “better at it” and continues to lean on me like it’s my permanent role in our friendship.

At this point, hanging out sometimes feels less like spending time with a friend and more like coordinating an event for someone who won’t lift a finger to help. I love her and enjoy our time together, but I’m starting to feel taken for granted and mentally exhausted before we even meet up. I don’t want to be harsh, but I don’t know how to make her understand that this isn’t sustainable for me. How do I get her to take my feelings seriously and step up so our friendship feels like an equal partnership, not a one-sided planning committee? -- Step It Up

DEAR STEP IT UP: Be willing to have your next adventure fail. Tell her you aren’t going to plan anything. Ask her to take the reins to make it happen. Leave everything to her other than your agreed-upon time and place to meet. Resist jumping in to make anything happen. See if she rises to the occasion.

If she does not, address the disaster that you are facing. Tell her that if she is unwilling to do anything to make your activities together happen, you cannot continue to participate. Hopefully, this will get her to make an effort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This entire year has been a struggle for me. I’m a freelancer, and business is down dramatically. I can hardly pay my bills. I rarely talk about it, but the holidays are approaching, and I cannot show up the way I usually do with gifts for everyone. I barely have the cash to get to my hometown to be with the family.

The thing is, everyone thinks of me as the successful one, the one who moved to the big city and made it. I haven’t made a thing this year other than more debt. How can I manage expectations with family without having to explain my situation? I just want to be with them. I don’t want to be interrogated. -- Lean Times

DEAR LEAN TIMES: Contact the member of your family you are closest to and explain your situation -- at least the key points. Share that you are excited to see them, but you can’t play Santa this year. Times are tight, and you just don’t have it. If you can, bring something for the young children in the family. If that’s out of reach, don’t sweat that either. Your presence will certainly make your family happy. You have to be OK with that. Your attitude can serve as their guide.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)