DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, my daughter asked if I might hire her boyfriend, who has taken a nontraditional route after high school. Instead of pursuing college, he decided to explore a trade. He’s a bright kid and a fast learner, so she thought it might work if he were my apprentice. I specialize in bathroom restoration mainly for large corporate offices, so even as an apprentice, the job pays quite well. Despite his success, I fear that his nontraditional decisions are influencing her. She took a gap year after high school, and now that she is in college, she continues to find reasons to want to leave. She thinks because her boyfriend is doing fine without a degree, she can do the same. My daughter and her boyfriend are still young. I don’t want to tell her what to do, but I don’t want her following a young man’s lead without a plan of her own. College may not be for everyone, but every adult needs a plan and some goals for their life. How can I knock some sense into her? -- Off the Beaten Path

DEAR OFF THE BEATEN PATH: Gently encourage your daughter to focus her lens on herself. Has she dreamed about anything that she wants to do with her life? What are some possibilities that she has considered for herself? If she has declared a major, encourage her to talk to an adviser at her college to learn about career trajectories in that field. Perhaps she can secure an internship to expose her to work options.

It's never a great idea to compare yourself to others, especially a boyfriend, but be careful as her dad not to get between them. Just keep helping her proactively figure out what she wants in her life and go for that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was headed out of town for a few days, so I asked a trusted friend to house sit for me. In the past, when I had only one pet, I’d take him to my mom’s until I got back, but now that I have two, I thought it might be easier to leave them in their home and have someone come over and be with them until I returned. I asked my friend who is familiar with both of my cats, and I insisted on paying for her help. Upon my return from vacation, I found my cats’ water bowls completely dry and their litter boxes out of control -- so much so that they'd had to handle their business in other places in my home -- and my garbage was at capacity. If I had known my friend wasn't going to care for my cats, I could have just left them home alone. I wouldn’t have paid someone to be there and do nothing. How do I address this with my friend? -- The House Sitter

DEAR THE HOUSE SITTER: If you haven’t paid your friend yet, don’t. You made a business transaction with her, and she failed to hold up her end of the bargain -- to the detriment of your cats and your home. Tell your friend how shocked you were to come home and see the neglect and disarray that she left. If she wasn’t going to do it, she should not have agreed in the first place.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it’s been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are “safe” and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn’t agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn’t expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.

We haven’t spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn’t trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don’t want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn’t acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide

DEAR DAD DIVIDE: What you need to understand is that your father’s motivation is to protect you. What he needs to understand is that you are at the stage in your life where you need to make your own decisions. Reach out to him and set a time to talk face to face. Acknowledge that you know he just wants the best for you and you appreciate that, but you need him to understand that you have to make decisions for yourself. Add that you would love it if he would support you even when you make mistakes.

Don’t expect an apology. Hope for a bit of a change in behavior -- an effort to give you space.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a quadriplegic patient in my hospital unit. Because she can’t buzz for assistance, I like to bring some of her pantry needs at the beginning of my shift so that she’s not waiting around when she’s in need. She is always grateful when I do. One of my co-workers has been giving me a hard time, saying I’m making more work for the other staff because now they all feel obligated to cater to this patient, too. This is a patient who cannot even pick up her own juice box when we bring it to her. I told my co-worker that I do not intend to stop being kind to this patient just to make his job easier. He has not spoken to me since that conversation and apparently does not communicate much with the patient either. When necessary, he goes to her room to check her vitals but turns his back before she gets a chance to ask anything of him. It’s selfish and unprofessional. What should I do about this? -- Doing My Job

DEAR DOING MY JOB: Speak to your supervisor and describe the situation, including what you have done to provide some basic comfort to the patient in question. Explain that your co-worker has taken issue with your extra help, that he seems to be neglecting the patient, and that you thought the supervisor should know.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I made plans to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art last weekend to visit the rooftop before it closed (not just for the season, but for the next five years due to upcoming renovations). I was really looking forward to it since it felt like a once-in-a-long-time experience we’d all share together. Unfortunately, I took the wrong train and realized I’d be about 45 minutes late. I texted my friends right away to let them know and told them to go ahead, buy their tickets and head inside without me since I figured the line might be long. I knew the museum was going to be busy, but I didn’t understand just how chaotic the museum entrance would be. It was packed, and I ended up waiting alone in line for almost 40 minutes just to get in. When I finally made it inside, I found out they had already gone up to the rooftop without me. I thought they’d wait for me once they got to the front of the line, especially since this was such a rare opportunity and something we’d planned to do together. When I finally met up with them, they acted casual, but I couldn’t help feeling disappointed and left out.

I understand I was the one who was late, but it really stung to miss out on something so special that won’t happen again for years and knowing my friends didn’t wait made it worse. Am I wrong for feeling hurt, or should I take responsibility since I was the one who got delayed? -- Left Out

DEAR LEFT OUT: It’s understandable that you felt left out, but you cannot be mad at your friends for this. What choice did they have? Waiting around for 40 minutes amid the swarm of constantly moving people would not have worked. Chalk this up to an unfortunate incident and let it go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I texted my friend a really personal message about something I was going through, something I don’t usually open up about, and it took a lot for me to be vulnerable and share how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling lately. When she finally responded, all she sent was a thumbs-up emoji. I know people have different communication styles and not everyone knows how to respond to emotional conversations, but it honestly felt dismissive. I kept rereading the message, wondering if I overshared or made her uncomfortable. We’ve been close friends for years, so I assumed she’d at least offer a few kind words or ask if I was OK.

Since then, our conversations have felt a little awkward, and now I’m second-guessing whether she values our friendship the same way I do. Part of me wants to tell her that her response hurt my feelings, but another part of me worries that I’m overreacting or being too sensitive. Should I bring it up and risk making things uncomfortable, or should I take it as a sign that maybe she’s not someone I can lean on emotionally? -- Dissed

DEAR DISSED: This friend has shown you through her inaction that either she doesn’t know how to show up for you when you are feeling vulnerable, or she chooses not to do so. Learn from her reaction, and don’t go to her when you need emotional support.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)