DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s boyfriend and I got into a heated argument at a dinner party. He made a joke about me being a drama queen and gossiping too much. At first, it was funny, but then it felt like he was bringing up situations that I had spoken about with his girlfriend in confidence. Despite his dwelling on this untimely joke, my friend remained quiet, not even nudging her boyfriend to quit.

I was ticked, so I asked him why he felt comfortable bringing all this up in front of a large group of people. At that point, it was clear that the conversation was no longer playful and some lines had been crossed. My friend finally decided to cut in, but instead of defusing, she was defending her boyfriend and saying I had no right to pick a fight with him. I feel a bit deceived by my friend. I know that partners will often engage in pillow talk, but I never expected it to be thrown in my face this way. Should I talk to my friend about how things escalated? -- Drama Queen

DEAR DRAMA QUEEN: Yes, you should speak to your friend. Tell her how hurt you were to hear her boyfriend spew confidences that you had shared with her. Explain that you were surprised when she didn’t nudge him to stop but instead reprimanded you when you tried to get him to change the subject.

Moving forward, don’t tell her anything you don’t want him to know. More important, understand that she is not going to have your back. It seems that relationship has changed now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my students is struggling socially. He is a bright young boy with a big personality, but when he’s around other students, he retreats. According to some of the other teachers, he may have experienced bullying last school year and has been a lot less interactive since then. I tried meeting with his parents about it, explaining that he seems anxious and often spends time alone during lunch or after school. His father's position is that as long as his son is doing well academically, he doesn’t see an issue. How can I get this student to let his guard down with other kids? I want him to know that school is a safe space, contrary to what he may have experienced last year. -- Social Struggles

DEAR SOCIAL STRUGGLES: You cannot guarantee that school will be a safe space for this child, so don’t promise that. You can encourage him to identify new friends who might share his interests. Suggest that he join a club or other group whose focus appeals to him. He may make friends in one of those groups. Let him know that you are there for him if he needs to talk. If he ever mentions his relationships with other students, listen carefully but don’t try to fix things. Just hear him out. Being present for this student consistently is something he will notice and likely appreciate.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn’t prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there’s still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I’d be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can’t keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don’t know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough

DEAR NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: Not getting the support you crave from your mother has to be heart-wrenching. While I do not have a recommendation on how to resolve that, I can suggest that you surround yourself with other people who can serve as cheerleaders. Who is close to you who is proud of your current choice? Who naturally encourages you when you are feeling low and celebrates your small victories? Be sure to stay in touch with those people.

Forgive your mother for her crass ways. She probably doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but that doesn’t make her snipes any less sharp. Do your best not to take her comments personally. If you can, stop seeking her validation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m getting married soon, and my dad has been totally out of sorts. For context, when my fiance asked my father for his permission to propose, my dad gave his blessing, but ever since then he has been distant. I’ve asked my dad to join us when we were touring venues, doing cake tastings and exploring tailors for the menswear. My dad has been making excuses, saying he has something else already on his calendar. When he does agree to join, he’ll conveniently oversleep and miss the appointment.

My father is known for having a 100% attendance rate for everything special in my life, so I can’t wrap my head around his recent behavior. My fiance thinks he may be sad about the big change. Is it possible that the thought of my wedding might be making my dad so distant? -- Hand in Marriage

DEAR HAND IN MARRIAGE: Go to your dad and ask him directly what’s bothering him. Point out that you have noticed that he is not engaging in your wedding planning even as you and your fiance have directly and repeatedly invited him. Ask him what’s wrong and push to get him to talk. Marriage is a union of families. Let him know how much you both value him. It’s best to address any issues now before you walk down the aisle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my 8-year-old son doesn’t listen to me unless I raise my voice. I hate that yelling has become our norm. It leaves me feeling frustrated and guilty, and I know it’s probably affecting him too. Small things like getting dressed, brushing teeth or cleaning up toys can turn into a major confrontation, and I end up yelling just to get him to comply. I’ve tried reasoning calmly, offering choices and even giving rewards, but nothing seems to work consistently.

I want to be a parent who sets boundaries and enforces rules without constantly raising my voice, but I’m not sure how to regain authority in a calmer, more positive way. I worry that if this continues, our relationship could become strained or resentful over time. I want him to respect me without feeling like our home is a battlefield. How do I break this cycle before it becomes permanent, and help both of us feel more connected and less stressed? -- Seeking Peace

DEAR SEEKING PEACE: Get up early and do something to ground yourself. Do stretches, deep breathing, meditation or anything that engages your physical body and instills calm. Decide that you are going to be positive in all of your interactions with your son.

With a smile and clear conviction, greet your son warmly and invite him to begin his day with a calming exercise. Teach him some stretches, and do them together. Show him how to start off focused. Tell him what time you want him to come for breakfast. Remind him of what you need him to do, and leave.

When it’s time to eat, call him but don’t inspect. Let him have agency. Later, check to see which of his chores he did, if any, but don’t address it then. When he comes home from school, before he can play, invite him to complete any unfinished tasks. If he doesn’t do them, remind him. This is the time to take away treats -- like TV and video games -- without raising your voice. Become pleasant, quiet and resolute as you consistently enforce consequences. He will notice your change in behavior and test you. Stay strong.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that a friend of mine might be taking weight-loss supplements. She’s mentioned an interest in doing so before but has never confirmed that she started any particular regimen. She’s been losing weight rapidly over the last couple of months, and now she’s beginning to look unhealthy. If she’s not taking any supplements, then I’ll be even more concerned!

I want to be supportive if my friend is seeking to lose weight or build a healthier lifestyle, but I don’t want to encourage habits that put her physical or mental health and well-being at risk. I just don’t know how to show my love, care and support without prying or even coming off as judgmental. How can I share my concerns with my friend when she hasn’t brought up her weight or health in a long time? -- Health Concerns

DEAR HEALTH CONCERNS: Tell your friend that you have noticed that she has lost a lot of weight. Ask her what method she is using. Encourage her to check in with her doctor to make sure she is following proper protocols. Tell her you are happy for her but a little concerned that the weight loss has been so rapid. Remind her that you love her and want the best for her. The rest is up to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)