DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn’t prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there’s still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I’d be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can’t keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don’t know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough

DEAR NEVER GOOD ENOUGH: Not getting the support you crave from your mother has to be heart-wrenching. While I do not have a recommendation on how to resolve that, I can suggest that you surround yourself with other people who can serve as cheerleaders. Who is close to you who is proud of your current choice? Who naturally encourages you when you are feeling low and celebrates your small victories? Be sure to stay in touch with those people.

Forgive your mother for her crass ways. She probably doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but that doesn’t make her snipes any less sharp. Do your best not to take her comments personally. If you can, stop seeking her validation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m getting married soon, and my dad has been totally out of sorts. For context, when my fiance asked my father for his permission to propose, my dad gave his blessing, but ever since then he has been distant. I’ve asked my dad to join us when we were touring venues, doing cake tastings and exploring tailors for the menswear. My dad has been making excuses, saying he has something else already on his calendar. When he does agree to join, he’ll conveniently oversleep and miss the appointment.

My father is known for having a 100% attendance rate for everything special in my life, so I can’t wrap my head around his recent behavior. My fiance thinks he may be sad about the big change. Is it possible that the thought of my wedding might be making my dad so distant? -- Hand in Marriage

DEAR HAND IN MARRIAGE: Go to your dad and ask him directly what’s bothering him. Point out that you have noticed that he is not engaging in your wedding planning even as you and your fiance have directly and repeatedly invited him. Ask him what’s wrong and push to get him to talk. Marriage is a union of families. Let him know how much you both value him. It’s best to address any issues now before you walk down the aisle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my 8-year-old son doesn’t listen to me unless I raise my voice. I hate that yelling has become our norm. It leaves me feeling frustrated and guilty, and I know it’s probably affecting him too. Small things like getting dressed, brushing teeth or cleaning up toys can turn into a major confrontation, and I end up yelling just to get him to comply. I’ve tried reasoning calmly, offering choices and even giving rewards, but nothing seems to work consistently.

I want to be a parent who sets boundaries and enforces rules without constantly raising my voice, but I’m not sure how to regain authority in a calmer, more positive way. I worry that if this continues, our relationship could become strained or resentful over time. I want him to respect me without feeling like our home is a battlefield. How do I break this cycle before it becomes permanent, and help both of us feel more connected and less stressed? -- Seeking Peace

DEAR SEEKING PEACE: Get up early and do something to ground yourself. Do stretches, deep breathing, meditation or anything that engages your physical body and instills calm. Decide that you are going to be positive in all of your interactions with your son.

With a smile and clear conviction, greet your son warmly and invite him to begin his day with a calming exercise. Teach him some stretches, and do them together. Show him how to start off focused. Tell him what time you want him to come for breakfast. Remind him of what you need him to do, and leave.

When it’s time to eat, call him but don’t inspect. Let him have agency. Later, check to see which of his chores he did, if any, but don’t address it then. When he comes home from school, before he can play, invite him to complete any unfinished tasks. If he doesn’t do them, remind him. This is the time to take away treats -- like TV and video games -- without raising your voice. Become pleasant, quiet and resolute as you consistently enforce consequences. He will notice your change in behavior and test you. Stay strong.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I suspect that a friend of mine might be taking weight-loss supplements. She’s mentioned an interest in doing so before but has never confirmed that she started any particular regimen. She’s been losing weight rapidly over the last couple of months, and now she’s beginning to look unhealthy. If she’s not taking any supplements, then I’ll be even more concerned!

I want to be supportive if my friend is seeking to lose weight or build a healthier lifestyle, but I don’t want to encourage habits that put her physical or mental health and well-being at risk. I just don’t know how to show my love, care and support without prying or even coming off as judgmental. How can I share my concerns with my friend when she hasn’t brought up her weight or health in a long time? -- Health Concerns

DEAR HEALTH CONCERNS: Tell your friend that you have noticed that she has lost a lot of weight. Ask her what method she is using. Encourage her to check in with her doctor to make sure she is following proper protocols. Tell her you are happy for her but a little concerned that the weight loss has been so rapid. Remind her that you love her and want the best for her. The rest is up to her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently matched with someone on a dating app, and after chatting for a bit, we realized we work at the same company. It’s a huge organization, so we had never crossed paths before -- until, of course, we suddenly started running into each other in the office after matching. We never acknowledged it directly, and since then, things have felt a little awkward. It’s not like anything inappropriate happened between us. We just exchanged a few friendly messages before things fizzled out, but now every hallway run-in feels tense. I can’t tell if he’s pretending it never happened or if he’s just as unsure as I am about how to act.

Part of me wants to laugh it off and break the ice, but another part worries that it might make things even weirder. I’ve caught myself overthinking what to say when I see him and wondering if other co-workers have picked up on the tension. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes take a different route to avoid the awkwardness altogether. Should I bring it up to clear the air or just keep acting like nothing happened and hope the awkwardness fades on its own? -- Unmatched

DEAR UNMATCHED: Be the adult in the room. Next time you see this man, walk up to him and discreetly address the obvious. You can start with humor. Yes, it is uncanny that the two of you would meet online and end up working in the same place, but it doesn’t need to be awkward. You didn’t end up hooking up. It was innocent enough, and now it’s over. Agree to stop dodging each other in the building, be cordial and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been stressful for me. I lost my job and have used most of my savings just to survive. I haven’t talked about my situation much at all. It’s frustrating enough to live it without the embarrassment of admitting that, at 40 years old, my great career ended because of no fault of my own. I suddenly became seen as a DEI hire even though my job had nothing to do with diversity. I feel deflated and scared. I’ve been looking for work but can’t find anything, and I’m worried about what to do next. -- Lost

DEAR LOST: Sadly, there are hundreds of thousands of well-credentialed, hardworking people like you in this country who are recently out of work with seemingly nowhere to turn. Now is the time to talk to your friends and reach out to organizations that may be able to help you.

With friends, band together and help each other -- first by revealing your situation and then asking for help. Some people have formed meal collectives where they cook together and share the expenses of food. Others help with babysitting. Still others have provided shelter for newly unhoused former professionals.

On a different level, reach out to human rights organizations for help. The ACLU, for example, is looking to support people who feel they were wrongly dismissed. Drop the shame and speak up for yourself. Telling your story may be the way to save yourself and others like you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)