DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently joined a local photography club because I wanted to meet other photographers, improve my skills and share my work in a supportive environment. Most members are great, but one person has started posting some of my photos online without my permission and giving themselves credit as the photographer. It makes me feel frustrated and disrespected, and I’m not sure how to handle it without creating conflict within the group. I don’t want to come across as overly sensitive, but I want my work to be respected and credited properly. I’ve tried subtly reminding him or commenting on posts, but it hasn’t seemed to stop the behavior. I feel anxious every time I bring new photos to the club, wondering if they’ll appear online under someone else’s name. It’s starting to make me dread sharing my work, which is supposed to be one of the main joys of joining the club. I also feel like my creativity and effort aren’t being valued, which is really discouraging.

How can I approach this situation in a way that protects my work, maintains my relationships within the club and sets clear boundaries? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Now is the time to be direct. Posting your work as their own is plagiarism, plain and simple. Go to the group at the next meeting and complain publicly. Ask how it could have happened that the art you brought to show the group would be posted by someone else without crediting you. Do not bring any more work to the group until this issue is handled. Address it head-on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate recently asked me if her boyfriend could stay at our apartment for a whole week, and I agreed at the time because I didn’t want to make things awkward or seem unaccommodating. Now that I’ve thought it over, I’m really regretting saying yes. I’m worried about having someone in our shared space for that long, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it. I also realize that our apartment is small, and having a third person around constantly could disrupt my routines, privacy and sense of personal space.

I feel stuck because I already said yes, but I also don’t want to feel trapped or stressed during the week. I’m anxious about bringing it up now because I don’t want my roommate to be upset or feel like I’m being unreasonable. At the same time, I need to prioritize my own comfort and mental well-being. Can I go back and change my answer, or would that be unfair to my roommate? How can I approach this in a way that respects both my boundaries and our friendship? -- Third Wheel

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Tell your roommate you need to have a talk with her. Explain that while you agreed for her boyfriend to stay for a week at your place, it is making you uncomfortable. You are concerned about being cramped. While it may not work to rescind the invitation, make it clear that you need him to respect your privacy, be as neat as possible and not stay longer than agreed.

Next time, take a breath and assess a request carefully before agreeing to it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are always pulling out their phones to take photos whenever we hang out, whether it’s at dinner, a casual walk or even just hanging out at someone’s apartment. I know it’s normal these days, but I hate being in photos because I feel awkward and self-conscious in front of the camera. I never like how I look in photos, and instead of enjoying the moment, I get stressed trying to pose or wondering if I look bad. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes dread social plans because I know a photo shoot will inevitably happen, and I feel pressure to participate so I don’t come off as antisocial or the “boring” friend.

How do I set boundaries around not wanting to take pictures without making my friends feel like I’m rejecting them? I want to be part of the group and enjoy our time together, but I also want to feel comfortable and not forced into something that makes me anxious. Is there a way to compromise so they can capture memories while I don’t feel so exposed? -- No More Paparazzi

DEAR NO MORE PAPARAZZI: Let your friends know that you love them, but you do not want to be in a constant photo shoot. When the cellphone cameras whip out, step out of the frame. Turn around. Walk away. You can do that without too much fuss so as not to disrupt the moment. You can also draw the line. If it’s late, tell them you don’t want any photos “after hours.” I have a friend who requests no photos on the beach. When people do pull out their cameras, they know not to include her. It is OK to stand up for yourself, though you may still find yourself in a photo or two.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My book club started a couple of years ago as a fun way to connect with people while also keeping myself accountable to read more. In the beginning, we had thoughtful discussions about the books we picked, and I looked forward to hearing different perspectives. Lately, the meetings have shifted into more of a social gathering where the book barely gets mentioned. Instead, most of the night revolves around wine, snacks and catching up on everyone’s personal drama.

While I enjoy the company, I miss the actual book discussions that originally drew me to the group. I feel like the odd one out for wanting to stay on topic, and I worry that if I bring it up, I’ll come across as uptight. At the same time, I don’t want to keep committing time to something that doesn’t give me what I signed up for. Sometimes I leave the meetings feeling disconnected and like my interests don’t matter. I just want to enjoy the social aspect without sacrificing the love of reading that took me there in the first place.

Should I speak up about wanting more structured conversations, or should I accept that the group has evolved into something different and find another outlet for my love of reading? -- No More Reading

DEAR NO MORE READING: Speak up and say you miss the rich discussions about the book at your next meeting. Ask a few members individually to see if others share your view. If so, request a vote to see if members will consider going back to spending an allotted time on book discussion before socializing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30th birthday just passed, and it was awful. I hate to sound ungrateful, but what should feel like a major milestone felt completely overlooked. Honestly, I’ve had a rough year, so I was OK with having a quiet birthday this year -- just some reminiscing, goal setting and maybe some quality time with friends. Someone asked me if they could plan a surprise for me. While the thought was sweet, I expressed that I didn’t want anyone spending money on me, but they insisted on doing something. They asked what I would want, and all I asked was that it be low-budget and that my parents be present. I found out that everyone who attended had to pay, despite it being in my friend’s home, my parents were not invited and the host had a program full of her favorite activities for the gathering. It didn’t feel like this party was for me at all. Should I say something to my friend? Or will I appear ungrateful? -- Birthday Blues

DEAR BIRTHDAY BLUES: You could ask your friend to do a debrief with you about the party. Tread carefully. While everyone had to pay something, do you know how much? She may have needed some cash to defray costs. The party may have had a low budget, even if it wasn’t free. Not inviting your parents when you made that request was not cool. You can ask how she pulled the party together and express disappointment that she didn’t keep your key thoughts in mind. Let her know that you don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but you are sad that it felt like your surprise 30th birthday party was not a party for you at all.

Next time, say no to such a thing, and plan your own event. That’s how you maintain control.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend of five years and I broke up a couple months ago. It’s been difficult as we try to rework our entire lives without each other. Honestly, I kept hoping we’d resolve our issues and patch things up, but she didn’t see things that way. In the process of breaking up, I decided I should move out and let her keep the apartment; I didn’t have to do that. To add insult to injury, she is now insisting that she keep our puppy. This is unfair! I did her a favor by moving out. I could’ve fought to stay there, but I didn’t. Now she wants to keep the dog we got together, too? This experience has shown me a totally different side of her. What are some reasonable options here? This breakup has been hard enough; I can’t risk losing my dog. -- Puppy Custody

DEAR PUPPY CUSTODY: Do you have the wherewithal -- including the time and resources -- to properly care for the puppy? If so, treat this just like a custody issue for children. Let your ex know that you want to share custody of the puppy, and do your best to work out a plan. Hopefully, she will be reasonable. If not, enlist friend and family support to help you resolve the custody battle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)