DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I, along with a few family friends, needed to travel to Canada for a funeral. We decided it would be more economical to drive, so I booked the rental vehicle. Our friends let us know that they’d send us their contribution before we hit the road. The day before our departure, they called, saying they might just take a bus because it’s more affordable, despite us choosing the rental car together and agreeing on pricing. My wife and I decided to invite them to join us in the carpool anyway because the car was already paid for, but I found all the back and forth to be a nuisance; we had checked in with them every step of the way, and we had all agreed. I ended up doing all the driving and covered gas, tolls and the cost of the car. My wife wants to say something to our friends, but I think that may be awkward. What do you think? -- Carpool

DEAR CARPOOL: Emotions were likely high, given that you and your friends were going to a funeral, but your friends were wrong. They broke an agreement that you made together and took advantage of you by not contributing at all to the cost of the trip. They should be ashamed of themselves! You have every right to speak to them about this. Remind them that you all agreed on the travel plans and the sharing of costs. They reneged. When you offered to let them ride with you anyway, they should have at least contributed to gas and tolls. Too bad you didn’t ask them straight up to pay their share anyway. You can tell them now how you feel and ask for them to make a contribution to defray some of the costs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m an executive assistant with 12 years of experience under my belt. I have been with my current company for the past three years, exhibiting growth and leadership, and I’ve even been trusted to conduct interviews and training for new hires. I was originally hired to be an assistant for a director at my company. Early this year, one of the C-suite execs lost their assistant, and I was asked to pull that weight and offer full-time support along with my existing workload. It has been difficult, but honestly, I’ve enjoyed the challenge. Working with the C-suite can be difficult, and it has been, but I enjoy learning through a different lens in the company. Despite enjoying this new role, I believe my efforts are worthy of proper compensation. This new role alone often makes anywhere between $20,000 and $30,000 more than I am currently earning, and I am handling both jobs. How do I remind my higher-ups of my value at the firm and respectfully request a well-deserved raise? -- Two Jobs in One

DEAR TWO JOBS IN ONE: Do you have a mentor at work? If so, talk to that person about strategy. If not, request a meeting with your direct supervisor. Describe how you have been enjoying the challenge over the past few months. Share what your long-term goals are at the company. Don’t be afraid to dream big out loud. Ask what they are thinking about for the future of this role. Point out that you have been doing two jobs for several months and would appreciate being compensated for the additional role as you also hope they will consider you for a role that is in alignment with your vision.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is upset with me because I told her she couldn’t go to a concert with her friends. The show is in a nearby city, and while she insists everyone else’s parents are letting them go, I don’t feel comfortable with her being out so late in such a large, unsupervised crowd. She’s 15, and the concert would end well past midnight. When I told her no, she burst into tears and accused me of not trusting her. Since then, she’s barely spoken to me.

I know part of this is typical teenage behavior, but it’s been difficult feeling like the bad guy when my only intention is to protect her. She’s been slamming doors, refusing to eat dinner with us and making little comments about how I never let her do anything fun. It breaks my heart; I don’t want her to feel like I’m controlling her life, but I also don’t want to give in just to avoid her anger. I keep second-guessing myself: Am I being too strict, or is this a reasonable boundary for her age? How can I make sure she doesn’t see me as the enemy? -- Angry Daughter

DEAR ANGRY DAUGHTER: Why not check in with the other friends’ parents to see what precautions they may have put in place, just to get some perspective? Get a sense of what is happening with her friend group so that you know what she could be dealing with. Have you considered driving her (and her friends) to the concert and picking them up when it’s over? Even if you don’t change your mind, you may proceed with more compassion -- just don’t present her as a baby to the other parents. You don’t want those conversations to make things worse.

Talk to your daughter about what you think is appropriate for her age and what the boundaries are. Apologize for having to disagree, but point out that you are the parent, and until she is independent, she must abide by your rules. She may stay mad for a while, but hopefully it will die down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is upset with me because I was unable to celebrate her birthday with her a few weeks back. I am unemployed right now, so I try to be mindful of my expenses and always account for my necessities first. My friend reached out and invited me to a private dinner party at her home and requested $200 for attendance. That would cover the cost of the private chef and some other things. I couldn’t spend that kind of money on a party. I explained to her that I could not afford to be there, and since then, she’s been cold. She is slow to reply to text messages, and the few times I have seen her or spoken with her, she’ll point out what I’m spending my money on or ask how much it cost me to do certain things. It’s making me uncomfortable. I’ve asked her if we can set aside some time to talk, but she won’t respond. I have enough on my plate. Is this kind of friend worth my patience? -- Birthday Drama

DEAR BIRTHDAY DRAMA: Your friend is being selfish. Stop trying to appease her. Focus on your life. You do not need to answer to her about how you spend money. Stop trying to talk to her. She owes you an apology for trying to bully you into spending beyond your budget on her birthday.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a difficult first pregnancy that took a serious toll on my physical and mental health. From severe morning sickness to complications that required hospitalization, the experience left me exhausted and anxious about the possibility of going through it again. Because of this, I’ve decided that I don’t want to have another biological child. My husband, however, really wants another kid, and he keeps bringing up the idea of trying for a second. I understand his desire to expand our family, and I love him deeply, but I can’t ignore the fear and trauma I still feel from my first pregnancy.

I’ve suggested adoption as an alternative, thinking it could be a way to grow our family without putting my health at risk, but the financial costs are astronomical and make it feel out of reach for us. Every time we talk about it, I feel torn between protecting my own well-being and trying to make my husband happy. He’s frustrated and disappointed, and I worry that my refusal is creating distance between us. How do we find a solution that will not cause tension in our marriage? -- No More Kids

DEAR NO MORE KIDS: It is hard to understand how frightening pregnancy can be if it hasn’t happened to you. Your husband may not fully get the magnitude of what happened to you in your first pregnancy, and he is therefore frustrated by your reluctance to do it again.

Talk to your doctor to learn about the risks before you so that you can get an objective opinion about a future pregnancy. Continue with your gut check about what you believe you can handle. If you feel more apprehensive than ready to become pregnant again, consider other alternatives. You may want to look at alternative adoption options, like foster to adopt.

In the end, you and your husband need to come to a decision together. Talk it out. Stand your ground and figure out how to move forward as one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is working with a company that makes money by signing up others under you to do the same thing -- what my mom used to call a pyramid scheme. It seems legitimate, but I’m not interested. I am doing my own thing, and I don’t have the interest or time to invest in somebody else’s plan. My friend won’t take no for an answer. She keeps trying to lure me in with the promise of earning fast money. How can I get her to know that I’m not interested without making her feel like I am rejecting her? -- Stop Asking

DEAR STOP ASKING: Tell your friend that you are happy that she has found something that works for her and that she is earning money doing it. That is fantastic -- for her. Point out that you are doing your own thing and you need to focus on that. Ask her to stop inviting you to join her company. You do not have the bandwidth or interest to get involved in her project. Tell her you wish her well, but implore her to stop pitching this job to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)