DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is upset with me because I told her she couldn’t go to a concert with her friends. The show is in a nearby city, and while she insists everyone else’s parents are letting them go, I don’t feel comfortable with her being out so late in such a large, unsupervised crowd. She’s 15, and the concert would end well past midnight. When I told her no, she burst into tears and accused me of not trusting her. Since then, she’s barely spoken to me.

I know part of this is typical teenage behavior, but it’s been difficult feeling like the bad guy when my only intention is to protect her. She’s been slamming doors, refusing to eat dinner with us and making little comments about how I never let her do anything fun. It breaks my heart; I don’t want her to feel like I’m controlling her life, but I also don’t want to give in just to avoid her anger. I keep second-guessing myself: Am I being too strict, or is this a reasonable boundary for her age? How can I make sure she doesn’t see me as the enemy? -- Angry Daughter

DEAR ANGRY DAUGHTER: Why not check in with the other friends’ parents to see what precautions they may have put in place, just to get some perspective? Get a sense of what is happening with her friend group so that you know what she could be dealing with. Have you considered driving her (and her friends) to the concert and picking them up when it’s over? Even if you don’t change your mind, you may proceed with more compassion -- just don’t present her as a baby to the other parents. You don’t want those conversations to make things worse.

Talk to your daughter about what you think is appropriate for her age and what the boundaries are. Apologize for having to disagree, but point out that you are the parent, and until she is independent, she must abide by your rules. She may stay mad for a while, but hopefully it will die down.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is upset with me because I was unable to celebrate her birthday with her a few weeks back. I am unemployed right now, so I try to be mindful of my expenses and always account for my necessities first. My friend reached out and invited me to a private dinner party at her home and requested $200 for attendance. That would cover the cost of the private chef and some other things. I couldn’t spend that kind of money on a party. I explained to her that I could not afford to be there, and since then, she’s been cold. She is slow to reply to text messages, and the few times I have seen her or spoken with her, she’ll point out what I’m spending my money on or ask how much it cost me to do certain things. It’s making me uncomfortable. I’ve asked her if we can set aside some time to talk, but she won’t respond. I have enough on my plate. Is this kind of friend worth my patience? -- Birthday Drama

DEAR BIRTHDAY DRAMA: Your friend is being selfish. Stop trying to appease her. Focus on your life. You do not need to answer to her about how you spend money. Stop trying to talk to her. She owes you an apology for trying to bully you into spending beyond your budget on her birthday.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a difficult first pregnancy that took a serious toll on my physical and mental health. From severe morning sickness to complications that required hospitalization, the experience left me exhausted and anxious about the possibility of going through it again. Because of this, I’ve decided that I don’t want to have another biological child. My husband, however, really wants another kid, and he keeps bringing up the idea of trying for a second. I understand his desire to expand our family, and I love him deeply, but I can’t ignore the fear and trauma I still feel from my first pregnancy.

I’ve suggested adoption as an alternative, thinking it could be a way to grow our family without putting my health at risk, but the financial costs are astronomical and make it feel out of reach for us. Every time we talk about it, I feel torn between protecting my own well-being and trying to make my husband happy. He’s frustrated and disappointed, and I worry that my refusal is creating distance between us. How do we find a solution that will not cause tension in our marriage? -- No More Kids

DEAR NO MORE KIDS: It is hard to understand how frightening pregnancy can be if it hasn’t happened to you. Your husband may not fully get the magnitude of what happened to you in your first pregnancy, and he is therefore frustrated by your reluctance to do it again.

Talk to your doctor to learn about the risks before you so that you can get an objective opinion about a future pregnancy. Continue with your gut check about what you believe you can handle. If you feel more apprehensive than ready to become pregnant again, consider other alternatives. You may want to look at alternative adoption options, like foster to adopt.

In the end, you and your husband need to come to a decision together. Talk it out. Stand your ground and figure out how to move forward as one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is working with a company that makes money by signing up others under you to do the same thing -- what my mom used to call a pyramid scheme. It seems legitimate, but I’m not interested. I am doing my own thing, and I don’t have the interest or time to invest in somebody else’s plan. My friend won’t take no for an answer. She keeps trying to lure me in with the promise of earning fast money. How can I get her to know that I’m not interested without making her feel like I am rejecting her? -- Stop Asking

DEAR STOP ASKING: Tell your friend that you are happy that she has found something that works for her and that she is earning money doing it. That is fantastic -- for her. Point out that you are doing your own thing and you need to focus on that. Ask her to stop inviting you to join her company. You do not have the bandwidth or interest to get involved in her project. Tell her you wish her well, but implore her to stop pitching this job to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, I had a really embarrassing accident at work. I tripped in the office and split my pants right in front of my colleagues. On top of that, I sprained my ankle in the fall, so I had to take some time off to recover. While I was out, I kept imagining everyone replaying that moment in their minds, and I worried about what they thought of me.

Now that I’m finally cleared to return to the office, I feel a mix of anxiety, dread and self-consciousness. I keep picturing co-workers whispering or laughing behind my back, even though most of them probably don’t even think about it anymore. The thought of walking back into the office makes me physically tense, and I’ve been considering asking to work from home longer just to avoid facing everyone. I know that it was an accident and everyone has embarrassing moments, but emotionally, I feel like I’m trapped in that one humiliating instant.

I want to be professional and get back into my routine, but I’m not sure how to shake off this embarrassment or rebuild my confidence in front of my co-workers. How can I return to the office without letting this one incident bother me? -- Back To Work

DEAR BACK TO WORK: It is highly unlikely that your co-workers have been fixated on your fall. They should be doing their jobs. Additionally, most people are so self-absorbed that they don’t obsess over other people’s issues.

Go back to work with your head held high. When someone asks how you are doing, give an uplifting report. If someone mentions the fall or you splitting your pants, laugh it off. It was a moment in the past. Be in the present and get back to work. If you let it go, they will, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently lost his job. There is a ton of paperwork to fill out, and he is dragging his feet instead of doing it. Whenever I ask him about it, he blows me off and says I am nagging him. He has always been the principal breadwinner in our family, and I need him to take this situation seriously. I cannot jump in and handle it all. Some things only he can do. How can I get him to focus and handle his business? We have three kids, and I need him to step up and figure out his next steps. -- What To Do

DEAR WHAT TO DO: Sit down with your husband again. Tell him you don’t mean to nag; you just want to help. Ask him if you can see the paperwork that has to be filled out and help where you are able. In as pleasant a tone as you can muster, urge him to carve out time to make a plan for his next steps so that he can continue to protect the family. If he needs to apply for unemployment benefits, look it up online and show him the website. While he may get angry, do whatever steps you can to make it easy for him to complete the tasks at hand. This is a tense time. Try to stay calm and not to take his snippiness personally.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)