DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about six months now, and things have been going really well. The only issue is that while we both live in New York City, he lives in Brooklyn and I live in Washington Heights (Manhattan), and the commute is usually over an hour -- sometimes longer if the trains are delayed or rerouted, which happens more often than I’d like. We both have demanding work schedules, so coordinating time together can be tricky, and it feels like one of us is always sacrificing sleep or rearranging our routine just to make the trip across the city. On nights when I get home after midnight from visiting him, I wonder if I can realistically keep this up in the long term.

I genuinely care about my boyfriend and enjoy our time together, but the distance sometimes makes our relationship feel more like a logistical puzzle than something spontaneous and fun. Friends keep telling me that dating across boroughs is like dating long-distance, and I’m starting to see what they mean. Is it realistic to keep dating someone who lives so far away in this city, or am I setting myself up for future frustration? -- Dating Long-Distance

DEAR DATING LONG-DISTANCE: It’s all about perspective. Yes, it takes a big effort for you two to be together. The same is true for people who live across states, countries and oceans. While you may lose out on spontaneity, what you can gain from continuing to choose each other is a deepening of your relationship and figuring out if the effort is worth it. It may not sound like fun, but consider creating a schedule for when you will see each other. You don’t have to schedule what you’re going to do, just that you’ll be together.

At some point, you may also start thinking about how serious this relationship is and whether you want to take it to the next level, i.e., moving closer, living together or even marriage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have started dropping hints that when they retire, they’d like to move in with me. They say it would make financial sense for all of us and that it would be nice to have the family under one roof again. While I love them dearly and appreciate everything they’ve done for me, the truth is that I’ve always looked forward to having my own independent space. I worked hard to build a life where I can live on my own terms, and the idea of having my parents move in feels overwhelming. I also worry that if I say yes, it could strain our relationship in ways we haven’t experienced before. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt their feelings or come across as ungrateful after all the sacrifices they’ve made for me.

How do I set healthy boundaries and gently let them know that I’d prefer to keep my home separate without damaging our relationship? I want to be honest with them, but I’m afraid the conversation could create long-lasting tension. -- Moving In

DEAR MOVING IN: Think in the long term. When might you welcome your parents into your home? Would you let them live with you if they desperately needed assistance and couldn’t live on their own?

Counter their suggestion with a timeline. Remind them that they raised you to be independent, and you are enjoying that independent life now. Tell them that you want to live on your own and potentially have a family. Right now you do not like the idea of living with them again. Suggest that you all reevaluate this option later down the line.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a guy about a month ago in a bizarre way: We were riding the same subway car during an off-peak hour and kept locking eyes. He came over and sat with me, and we swapped a few stories. It was crazy but so sweet. He told me that he used to play sports overseas and is now back in New York City opening a restaurant. He invited me out to a food tasting as our first date, and we’ve been spending time together ever since. I ended up telling my friend about this new romance, and she thought it’d be interesting to Google him. At first it was funny, but then she found a family photo on his socials captioned “Superdad, father of 5.” I was shocked! We spoke about our families on our first date, and he told me that he has “a daughter.” I feel deceived and don’t know how to confront him since I found out by snooping. Should I ghost him, or is that immature? -- Superdad

DEAR SUPERDAD: First of all, I don’t consider it snooping to look up someone online. It is common practice and not the same thing as riffling through his phone or his belongings. You found “Superdad.” What else did you see on his socials? Is he also a husband? Look again to learn more about this man from his posts, and then absolutely speak to him about your discoveries. You can tell him the truth: You were telling a friend about him and the two of you looked him up. Express how surprised you were when you learned that he has five children even though he told you about only one.

Ask him to tell you who he is and why he thought it was necessary to hide the fact that he has five children from you. People have lives. Whatever is true about them is just that. You don’t need to ghost this man. Instead, find out who he is and if his values match yours. If they don’t, say goodbye.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in a tough situation. I have fallen for a guy who is in dire financial straits. This is so weird, as one of my biggest worries is not having enough money. I am an entrepreneur, and in recent years, my business has not been strong. What I thought I wanted most was a stable relationship with someone who has stable finances, so it’s nuts that I have fallen for this guy. I met him at one of my lowest points, and he was so kind to me. He sees me. Part of me wants to say I will give this a chance. Maybe together we can both get financially stronger, but maybe this is me being naive. How can I tell? -- Fallen

DEAR FALLEN: Have an honest conversation with this man. Tell him your concerns about your life and his. Admit that you really like him and want to see where things are headed, but you need to see both of you making headway toward financial stability. Ask him questions about his financial history, work life, etc. Find out his strengths and weaknesses as you share yours. Analyze whether being with him is worth the risk for your sanity -- and your wallet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am living with my mom again for the first time in a long time. I am back in my hometown, and as I plan for what’s next, living with her seemed like the best idea. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong. Aside from occasional three-week-long visits during holidays, it’s been about eight years since my mom and I lived in the same space, and now I remember why. We have changed so much. She is particular about fridge organization, and no matter how hard I try to adhere to her shelf preferences and systems, I still manage to mess it up. Apparently, all of my showers are too long. She tries to correct the way I do my laundry, and she constantly questions me about my spending because she thinks I receive too many packages. I think we’re just going through an awkward phase readjusting to each other, but I don’t want this to continue. Any advice on how we can compromise? -- Mom’s House

DEAR MOM’S HOUSE: Ask your mom if you two can have a family meeting. Thank her for welcoming you home during this period of uncertainty. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate her generosity.

Tell her that the transition has been tough. As you’ve grown up, you have developed certain patterns of living, and she has her own. You feel like she is constantly judging and correcting you, and you do not feel comfortable. Ask her for some grace. Request specific concessions, like one shelf in the fridge to be yours. Get a P.O. box so that you don’t have to be under her scrutiny regarding packages. Do heed her warnings: Are you spending too much? Can you cut back? Are your showers wasting water? Remember that she loves you and wants the best for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is extremely passive-aggressive. He refuses to speak up for basic things at his work, yet he snipes at me about every little thing at home. He constantly curses under his breath about how somebody did him wrong, but when it’s time to speak up and defend himself, he’s quiet as a mouse. This is driving me nuts. When I recommend things for him to say or do to take better care of himself, he shrugs it off and is often mean to me. I’m at my wit’s end. I feel like I bear the brunt of his inability to speak up for himself. What can I do? -- Passive Husband

DEAR PASSIVE HUSBAND: You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, “Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me.” When he goes off about something, remind him in a quiet moment that it would be easier if he addressed the issue as it is happening rather than complaining about it after the fact.

Definitely recommend counseling. A therapist may be able to role-play with him so he can discover healthier ways to react to confrontation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)