DEAR HARRIETTE: I am living with my mom again for the first time in a long time. I am back in my hometown, and as I plan for what’s next, living with her seemed like the best idea. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong. Aside from occasional three-week-long visits during holidays, it’s been about eight years since my mom and I lived in the same space, and now I remember why. We have changed so much. She is particular about fridge organization, and no matter how hard I try to adhere to her shelf preferences and systems, I still manage to mess it up. Apparently, all of my showers are too long. She tries to correct the way I do my laundry, and she constantly questions me about my spending because she thinks I receive too many packages. I think we’re just going through an awkward phase readjusting to each other, but I don’t want this to continue. Any advice on how we can compromise? -- Mom’s House

DEAR MOM’S HOUSE: Ask your mom if you two can have a family meeting. Thank her for welcoming you home during this period of uncertainty. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate her generosity.

Tell her that the transition has been tough. As you’ve grown up, you have developed certain patterns of living, and she has her own. You feel like she is constantly judging and correcting you, and you do not feel comfortable. Ask her for some grace. Request specific concessions, like one shelf in the fridge to be yours. Get a P.O. box so that you don’t have to be under her scrutiny regarding packages. Do heed her warnings: Are you spending too much? Can you cut back? Are your showers wasting water? Remember that she loves you and wants the best for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is extremely passive-aggressive. He refuses to speak up for basic things at his work, yet he snipes at me about every little thing at home. He constantly curses under his breath about how somebody did him wrong, but when it’s time to speak up and defend himself, he’s quiet as a mouse. This is driving me nuts. When I recommend things for him to say or do to take better care of himself, he shrugs it off and is often mean to me. I’m at my wit’s end. I feel like I bear the brunt of his inability to speak up for himself. What can I do? -- Passive Husband

DEAR PASSIVE HUSBAND: You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop. In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or being rude or disrespectful. You can even say, “Honey, I know you had a hard day today, but I need you not to take it out on me.” When he goes off about something, remind him in a quiet moment that it would be easier if he addressed the issue as it is happening rather than complaining about it after the fact.

Definitely recommend counseling. A therapist may be able to role-play with him so he can discover healthier ways to react to confrontation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are playing favorites with their grandchildren, and it’s becoming more obvious. My kids are starting to notice, and it absolutely breaks my heart. For example, my mom buys my sister’s children much more expensive gifts for birthdays and holidays, while my kids get smaller or less thoughtful presents. She also often invites my sister’s kids out to lunches, special outings or shopping trips, but rarely includes mine.

My children have started to ask why grandma doesn’t treat them the same, and I never know what to say without making my parents look bad. I don’t want to create a family conflict, but I also don’t want my kids growing up feeling less loved or less important than their cousins. Part of me wants to sit down and have an honest conversation with my parents about how this favoritism is affecting my family, but I’m scared it will make things worse. Should I confront my parents about this or let it go and find other ways to reassure my children that they are equally valued and loved? -- Playing Favorites

DEAR PLAYING FAVORITES: You should speak to your parents and point out your concerns. Tell them that your children have noticed that their grandparents do not treat all of the grandchildren the same, and their feelings are hurt. Ask them to be more mindful of how they treat all the children.

Be prepared to distract your children from their grandparents’ favoritism, though, as you have no control over it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been working in corporate America in finance for the past six years, and while I’ve learned a lot and grown professionally, I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I love the idea of creating something of my own, being my own boss and building a business that reflects my passions and values. The problem is that I have no clue where to start. I don’t know how to come up with a viable business idea, figure out funding or navigate all the logistics involved in launching a company. I’m also nervous about leaving the security of a steady paycheck and benefits, and I worry about failing or making mistakes that could set me back financially. At the same time, I feel like I’ve been putting this dream on hold for too long, and I don’t want to regret never taking the leap. How do I begin exploring entrepreneurship when I have so many questions and fears? What are the first steps I should take to turn my dream into a reality? -- Dreaming

DEAR DREAMING: I want to push back a bit and ask you: What exactly is your dream? What you describe is a vague desire to have a business. In order to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to have a burning desire to do something specific. That fire inside then will drive you to figure out all of the details. To learn more about entrepreneurship, you can take a class or read books that describe what to do.

You may also want to consider pursuing a hobby, volunteering or joining a not-for-profit board, something that expands your horizons but also allows you to stay in your corporate job. That could be great, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My “Uncle Ron” raised his son and daughter all alone, and I think it was a struggle for him. Over the years, he put affection on the back burner and became results-driven. He did his best to make sure his children were A students, hard-working, well-behaved, well-spoken and aligned for success. I think his rigid parenting style took a toll on his son, my cousin “Matt.” When Matt went away for college, he was no longer an A student. Although he managed to graduate, he struggled to find work afterward. Whenever we’re all together, Uncle Ron is judgmental and doesn’t shy away from sharing his disappointment in his kids. I can see how it affects my cousin, but I don’t know what to say to my uncle. I chime in sometimes to remind him that Matt is on his way and has a good job now, but nothing is good enough for my uncle. I want to get through to him, but he’s so stuck in his ways. How can I stop him from emotionally scarring my cousin further? -- Never Enough

DEAR NEVER ENOUGH: Your uncle may never listen, but you can try talking to him privately. Point out that you know how hard he worked to take care of his children to prepare them to become responsible adults. Note that you think he did a great job, and add that you have noticed how harshly he treats Matt and that it seems to be negatively affecting him. Give Uncle Ron the example of how he publicly berates his son about his shortcomings in front of the family and how uncomfortable and embarrassing that is. Suggest that he notice the positive things about his son and celebrate those a little more.

Your uncle may get angry with you, but at least you will have said it. Moreover, stay in touch with your cousin and be his peer cheerleader. He will appreciate that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling in my business all year due to losing several big contracts at the end of last year. I haven’t been bringing in the income I need to survive and pay my team, and I have depleted my savings; it’s a huge struggle. When I try to talk to my husband about it, he shrugs it off and tells me not to complain. He says if I talk about how bad things are, they will get worse. I think he’s wrong. We need to talk about reality and how we will move forward on significantly less income. How do I get him to take this seriously? We are in a crisis. -- Broke

DEAR BROKE: Calculate all of your expenses for your household and your business. Write it all down. Then write down all of your earnings. Put the two next to each other so that you can see where you are financially. Make it clear to him with side-by-side numbers. Tell him you need help figuring out a way forward. This is real and must be addressed now before things get worse.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)