DEAR HARRIETTE: My “Uncle Ron” raised his son and daughter all alone, and I think it was a struggle for him. Over the years, he put affection on the back burner and became results-driven. He did his best to make sure his children were A students, hard-working, well-behaved, well-spoken and aligned for success. I think his rigid parenting style took a toll on his son, my cousin “Matt.” When Matt went away for college, he was no longer an A student. Although he managed to graduate, he struggled to find work afterward. Whenever we’re all together, Uncle Ron is judgmental and doesn’t shy away from sharing his disappointment in his kids. I can see how it affects my cousin, but I don’t know what to say to my uncle. I chime in sometimes to remind him that Matt is on his way and has a good job now, but nothing is good enough for my uncle. I want to get through to him, but he’s so stuck in his ways. How can I stop him from emotionally scarring my cousin further? -- Never Enough

DEAR NEVER ENOUGH: Your uncle may never listen, but you can try talking to him privately. Point out that you know how hard he worked to take care of his children to prepare them to become responsible adults. Note that you think he did a great job, and add that you have noticed how harshly he treats Matt and that it seems to be negatively affecting him. Give Uncle Ron the example of how he publicly berates his son about his shortcomings in front of the family and how uncomfortable and embarrassing that is. Suggest that he notice the positive things about his son and celebrate those a little more.

Your uncle may get angry with you, but at least you will have said it. Moreover, stay in touch with your cousin and be his peer cheerleader. He will appreciate that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling in my business all year due to losing several big contracts at the end of last year. I haven’t been bringing in the income I need to survive and pay my team, and I have depleted my savings; it’s a huge struggle. When I try to talk to my husband about it, he shrugs it off and tells me not to complain. He says if I talk about how bad things are, they will get worse. I think he’s wrong. We need to talk about reality and how we will move forward on significantly less income. How do I get him to take this seriously? We are in a crisis. -- Broke

DEAR BROKE: Calculate all of your expenses for your household and your business. Write it all down. Then write down all of your earnings. Put the two next to each other so that you can see where you are financially. Make it clear to him with side-by-side numbers. Tell him you need help figuring out a way forward. This is real and must be addressed now before things get worse.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are going through a rough patch, and I just don’t know what to do. He seems to believe that I am cheating on him.

This all started one night when I returned home pretty late from going out with a girlfriend who was visiting. It’s rare that I stay out late drinking or partying. My spouse knew exactly where I was going and who I’d be with, but when I got home, he demanded to see my phone. I allowed it because I thought he was being ridiculous. He didn’t find anything suspicious or incriminating, but he’s still been on edge with me since. He’s even been staying overnight at his parents’ place some nights claiming that “it was too late to drive home.”

I’m worried. I’ve tried pleading with him, letting him know there’s nothing going on, but now I fear that he’s just unhappy in our marriage and looking for a reason to leave. We tried a couple’s therapy session, but he refuses to return. I don’t know what to do. -- Rough Patch

DEAR ROUGH PATCH: Ask your husband to sit down and have a serious conversation with you. Ask him what is going on and what he wants. Tell him that you are concerned because it’s obvious that things are tense in your marriage, and you do not know how to fix it. Remind him that he accused you of cheating. Point out that you are not. Is he projecting? Ask him if he is seeing anyone. Tell him you want to get to the root of the problem, but you cannot fix a problem if you cannot name it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine asked me for a referral at my company. About a year and a half ago, she dropped out of college toward the end of her junior year. She’s never been transparent about why, but now she says she’s ready to “pave her own way.” Since she left school, she hasn’t been able to secure a job. She’s reached out to her network, and it seems like a few people have done due diligence to help her and create opportunities for her. She won’t admit it, but I’m hearing from all these helping hands that she showed up late to interviews, didn’t send her resume when requested and even failed a drug test.

Now she has come to me for help, and I told her I’d let her know. The truth is that I’d prefer not to put my name on the line for someone who is apparently irresponsible. How can I be honest with my friend about these missteps that she never even told me about? -- Job Referral

DEAR JOB REFERRAL: Your reputation is everything, and you should not refer her or anyone else unless you can truly vouch for the person. Speak honestly with this woman. Ask her what she wants for her life and how she plans to get there. Inquire as to what her job search has been thus far. Unless you were sworn to secrecy about the other attempts, tell her that you know she has shown up late and failed a drug test. Point out that these things torpedo her chances at getting a job and also damage the reputation of the person making the referral. Tell her you cannot recommend her today, but you are willing to talk to her to help her get her bearings for tomorrow.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with what feels like depression. I’ve never experienced these long periods of sadness, isolation and laziness before, but for the past year, I’ve been in a season of hardship, battling unemployment and other life changes.

The other day, a close friend of mine broke down crying about how horrible she felt learning that one of her co-workers has been going through a tough time emotionally. My friend told me she hates hearing stories of people going through difficult periods. Honestly, in the past year she has made light of my situation, changed the subject when I've had vulnerable moments and never actually asked me how I am doing.

Hearing her empathize with her co-worker infuriated me. I tried to sit through her moment of vulnerability, but all I could feel was anger and envy. I excused myself and decided to head home. I’m sure she was confused, but that kind of lack of consideration for me feels inexcusable. Is there a conversation I should have with her? -- Lack of Empathy

DEAR LACK OF EMPATHY: When you are able to calm down, you should reach out to your friend. Chances are, she is totally unaware of her behavior toward you. Because she doesn’t handle stress well, she shrugs off your issues. Now, seeing her co-worker on a daily basis and observing whatever crisis she may have experienced has forced her to acknowledge someone else going through it.

Speak to her and tell her the truth: You have been struggling for a whole year, and when you attempted to talk to her about it, she diminished your concerns. Tell her how upsetting it was for you to see her break down about a colleague who is in mental distress when she has not been there for you when you have needed her support. It hurts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to a new city, and I met a guy on a night out. He’s sweet and has been attentive the past few weeks. It’s nice being able to explore dating in this new city, but at the same time, I want to take my time as I create new connections and community here. Part of me thinks he’s a bit clingy. He already has 10 different pet names for me. He offers to call me whenever I leave work and before I go to bed. He also offers to join me for minor errands and includes himself in some of my future plans. Whenever I set boundaries, he’s compliant. Is this happening too fast? We only met a month ago and have been on three or four dates. I’m not totally familiar with the term, but this sort of feels like “love bombing.” How do I pace myself with a suitor who seems to have good intentions but may be coming on too strong? -- Love Bomb

DEAR LOVE BOMB: You can’t fault this guy for thinking you are a good catch! Still, you can manage expectations and time. Tell him how much you appreciate his attentiveness, but you want to slow it down a bit. If you don’t think he is “the one” -- or at least not yet -- give yourself space to meet other people. Otherwise, your situation with him may become exclusive by default. Continue to talk to him and see him when you like, but your interaction does not need to be every day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)