DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received a job offer from another company that comes with a significantly higher salary than what I’m currently making. The role is in a field I’ve been wanting to move into for years, and while it’s a little intimidating, it genuinely excites me. When I told my current employer about the offer, they surprised me by countering with a raise that slightly exceeds the other company's offer. On paper, it sounds like a win, but here’s the problem: I don’t actually enjoy my current job. I’ve stayed mostly because I have great relationships with my co-workers. I know the systems inside and out, and it feels stable. The work itself leaves me bored, unmotivated and drained by the end of the day. Now I feel torn between taking a leap into something new that could be more fulfilling, or staying in a comfortable role for the sake of security and familiar faces. Should I follow my heart toward the new opportunity or stick with the paycheck and stability I already have? -- At a Crossroads

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Is there any way that your current company has space to create a new role for you? Since you have a new job offer with security there, why not speak candidly to your boss? Explain that you feel you have outgrown your current job. You appreciate their counteroffer, but what you want more is a different type of opportunity. Find out if you can create a new role for yourself there at the newly offered rate -- or if there’s anything they can do to sweeten the pot.

You can also let the other company know that your current employer countered with a higher paycheck. Carefully negotiate to see if you can get a better deal at the new place. Just be careful not to be too pushy. Ultimately, you should go where you think you will be happiest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am newly engaged. My girlfriend and I had been together for about two years before we decided to move in together, and it’s been almost three years since then. I love her dearly, so naturally a proposal felt like the next step. If I’m being honest, though, a lot of my friends and a few family members have not always been big fans of my fiancee. Some of them feel that she is not friendly or welcoming and think that she’s too territorial. They worry that because this is my first relationship, perhaps I’m just excited about having someone. Now that we are in full wedding planning mode, I’m getting a little worried. It’s hard to admit, but I think I am feeling a slight case of cold feet. Did I jump the gun? Now that we’ve agreed to forever, I’ve been wondering more about the dynamic between my fiancee and my village. Can this work in the long term? -- Cold Feet

DEAR COLD FEET: Here’s where premarital counseling can be helpful. Recommend that you two go to a therapist to talk through your hopes and dreams for the future. Be open and honest in the conversation with the therapist. Share what you love about your fiancee and what concerns you. Outline your vision of the future and how it includes family and friends, and gain insight from her as to how she feels about that. The more open you can be during these sessions, the better you will both be able to assess your long-term compatibility.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in New York and have been here my entire life. I decided about a year ago that I wanted to move to a new city. I only flirted with the idea at first, but recently, my boss told me that if I’m serious, they could transfer me to the Chicago office. I’ve taken them up on their offer and will be moving within a few months. I’m currently searching for the perfect place to stay, but I’ve never lived on my own, so this is all new to me. Where I find a perfect balance of reasonable commute, safe neighborhood and proximity to necessities, I also find really high rental prices. I have seen some condos for sale, which would actually have more ideal monthly rates, but purchasing can be a big commitment. I have people around me advocating for both options, and I still feel torn between renting and owning. What do you think? -- New City

DEAR NEW CITY: Often when people move to new cities, they start by renting in order to check out the neighborhood to make sure it is a good fit. Once they get to know the city, they have better awareness of where they would want to live. That said, buying property is often a good investment. Do your due diligence to see how the neighborhood is growing or changing, if property values have increased over time and what prices are like in the surrounding community. This will give you a sense of the potential resale value if you decide not to stay in Chicago.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need help encouraging my son to pursue his education. He has started a bachelor’s program at least twice now and has taken a variety of classes, but he never completed either program. For some time, I let go of my own desires for him and tried to make peace with the idea that maybe school just isn’t for him, but the way the job market is looking these days, it’s less about my personal wishes and feels a lot more like a necessity. He feels stuck in his career. He’s worked at a few different places but always seems to be in entry- or junior-level positions despite his growing experience. Many companies list a bachelor’s degree as part of their requirements or preferences. I try to explain this to my son, but he’s still reluctant. Is there something more I can do to help him if he does decide to try school again? -- Higher Education

DEAR HIGHER EDUCATION: Your son has to live his life. You cannot do it for him, no matter how difficult it may be to cheer from the sidelines. Yes, for many types of employment, a bachelor’s degree is a bottom-line requirement, but there are plenty of jobs that do not have that rule.

What you can talk to your son about is what he wants for his life. Suggest that he assess how much it will cost to enjoy what he wants. Help him do the math so he can see how much money he should try to make in order to be in a position to support his desired lifestyle. That may motivate him to strive harder.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor’s young son has developed a habit of coming into my yard and picking flowers for his mom from my garden, which is right on the border of our two lawns. She always laughs and says how sweet it is when he hands them to her, but I can’t help feeling frustrated. I’ve spent countless hours planting, watering and tending to those flowers, not to mention the money I’ve invested in making my garden something I’m proud of. At first, I tried to brush it off as an innocent gesture, but it’s been happening regularly, and now entire sections of my garden are looking sparse. I don’t think the boy realizes he’s doing anything wrong, but his mom certainly should. I want to say something before the season is ruined, but I also don’t want to come across as the cranky neighbor who scolds kids. How can I ask her to stop letting him pick my flowers while still being kind and neighborly? -- Don’t Pick the Flowers

DEAR DON’T PICK THE FLOWERS: The mistake you made was not saying something the first time. This child has no way of knowing what he did was wrong, and because you didn’t say anything, his mother may think that you don’t have a problem with him picking your flowers.

It is time for you to speak up. Talk to the boy’s mom. Tell her that you know you should have said something right away, but you must tell her now that you do not want her son to pick your flowers. It’s great for him to admire them and show them to her, but you spend hours of time and lots of money to build your garden, and you do not want it to be picked. Perhaps you can offer for him to help you water the flowers sometimes or otherwise participate a bit in the gardening experience so he can learn the value of preserving and growing the garden.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I came home to find my neighbor standing on my porch holding an Amazon package addressed to me. When I asked why she had it, she said she “thought it was hers” because she ordered an item off of Amazon and was notified that it was delivered today, but she didn’t see the package on her porch. The thing is, my packages are clearly labeled with my name and address, and hers are typically not left on my porch. I want to believe it was an honest mix-up, but something about her reaction felt off. She seemed flustered and avoided eye contact, and this isn’t the first time I’ve had a package go missing. Now I’m wondering if she’s been taking them all along and only got caught this time. I hate the idea of accusing a neighbor without solid proof, but I also don’t want to ignore it if she’s stealing from me. Should I take her at her word and let it go, or report it to the police before it happens again? -- Is She a Thief?

DEAR IS SHE A THIEF?: Inform your neighbor that if she believes a package was misdelivered, the correct protocol would be to call you and ask if you've seen it. To prevent future "misunderstandings," install a motion-activated camera at your front door to observe everyone who steps onto your property. In this way, you will be able to see for yourself if she or anyone else steals from you. Then you can confront her or call the police.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)