DEAR HARRIETTE: My son recently lost his job and asked if he, his wife and their two young children could move back into my home for a few months while they get back on their feet. I love my son and my grandkids dearly and I want to help them, but the idea of having four extra people in my house, especially two energetic children, feels overwhelming. I’ve been living alone for years and value my peace, privacy and quiet routines. I worked hard to get to a point where my home feels like my sanctuary, and I’m afraid I’ll lose that if I say yes. On the other hand, if I say no, I worry it will cause tension and hurt feelings, or make me seem selfish and uncaring. I’m torn between wanting to protect my own space and wanting to be a supportive mother and grandmother. How can I have this conversation in a way that sets boundaries but still shows love and compassion as I do want to help them out during this difficult time? -- Moving Back Home

DEAR MOVING BACK HOME: Go with your gut. If you don’t think you can handle the stress and bustle of four people in your house for what will likely be more than a few months, say no. Instead, if you have any money you can give them to help pay for rent somewhere for a few months, offer that.

If they get to the point of potential homelessness, reconsider your position. Even then, create boundaries so that you don’t lose your peace entirely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend of mine borrowed one of my favorite dresses to wear to a wedding a few weeks ago. It wasn’t just any dress: It was expensive, it fits me perfectly and I’ve worn it only a handful of times. When she returned it, I noticed there were several noticeable stains on the fabric. She didn’t mention them, apologize or offer to pay for cleaning. She just handed it back as if nothing was wrong.

At first, I thought maybe she didn’t notice the stains, but they’re impossible to miss. Now I’m feeling hurt, not just about the dress, but about the lack of respect and acknowledgment. I’m debating whether I should bring it up and risk creating tension, or just let it go to avoid conflict. Part of me thinks it’s about the principle, not the money, but another part worries I’ll seem petty if I make it an issue. What’s the best way to handle this without damaging the friendship -- or my bank account? -- Dirty Dress

DEAR DIRTY DRESS: Speak up. Tell your friend you were surprised and disappointed that she returned your dress soiled -- without even mentioning the stains -- after she borrowed it. Don’t fret about the tension; it’s already there because you feel it, so you must address it. Tell her you will have it dry cleaned and let her know the cost.

If she tries to shrug it off, you can say this is exactly why you don’t like to lend your clothing. You don’t want friction between the two of you, but you do expect your things to be treated with respect.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got promoted at work, which I was really excited about until things got awkward with a close colleague of mine. Before the promotion, we were on the same level, working side by side for over two years. Now that I’m her supervisor, the dynamic has changed, and it’s been uncomfortable. She’s been distant ever since I got promoted. She doesn’t talk to me the same way, and when we do interact, there’s this underlying tension that didn’t exist before.

I’ve tried to keep things as normal as possible, but I can tell she’s hurt or maybe resentful. I can’t help but wonder if she expected to get the promotion herself, or if she feels betrayed that I didn’t warn her ahead of time. At the same time, I want to do well in this new role and not feel like I have to downplay my success. Is there a way to rebuild the trust and keep our friendship intact while also stepping into this leadership position, or is this just one of those situations where personal and professional lines should not be crossed? -- Moving Up

DEAR MOVING UP: Sometimes promotions provoke work friendship casualties. While this is not what you want, at the moment, your responsibility is to do your job. Dig in and learn everything you can. Stay laser-focused about the work. Check in regularly with your supervisor to track your progress. If you feel comfortable enough to speak frankly with your supervisor, ask for advice on navigating the changing dynamics of office friendships as you grow at the company.

What you are experiencing is common, even as it is painful. What you can do is continue to be respectful and friendly to this person, but you cannot change how she feels.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband curses all the time. As he ages, it has gotten worse. I used to be able to get him to curb his cursing when in the company of elders and children, but now he doesn’t care. I used to take him to office functions, like company dinners or business galas, but I hesitate now because he may begin cursing like a sailor at the most inappropriate moment. It’s almost as if he has lost a filter now that he is older. How can I get him to be aware of his behavior? If he refuses to tone it down, I fear I won’t be able to take him places anymore. -- No Cursing Allowed

DEAR NO CURSING ALLOWED: People who know your husband well already know that he has a foul mouth. While you don’t like it, it’s OK for him to be in their company as his behavior is expected.

When it comes to work functions, think twice. If you believe that your husband’s behavior will negatively impact your reputation, stop bringing him to those functions. When asked where he is, just say that he couldn’t make it. Make sure you are not overreacting. A lot of people curse -- a lot. Survey your landscape to do a gut check on this before you make your decision.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I saw that one of my cousins came out on social media. She posted herself and a partner kissing, and a lot of her friends were commenting, congratulating them and admiring their courage.

My cousin is 11. Some of the photos are of her and her partner holding hands, some show kissing and some seem set at home or in their rooms. I don’t think kissing or cuddling is appropriate or necessary at that age, especially if parents aren’t aware. Part of me wants to share with her mom, but I don’t want to expose something that my younger cousin isn’t ready to share yet. Aside from the young age, there is the layer of her sexuality. We grew up in a religious family, and I’m not sure of her mom’s views in that regard. Would she be ready to accept this? I feel torn because I think her mom should have the chance to talk to her about her developing romantic feelings, but I don’t want to put my younger cousin in a vulnerable position. What would you do? -- Coming Out

DEAR COMING OUT: First, think about yourself at your cousin’s age. Many children have their first crushes at about the same time. Sexual attraction can start way before that as well. It is not unusual for 11-year-olds to be exploring their sexuality. The fact that your cousin put it on social media means that she is not trying to hide her identity.

Yet, as you point out, it may be difficult to discuss with her parents. Since you saw it, would you be willing to talk to her first? Let her know you saw her post and ask her to talk to you about her life. Get a sense of what’s going on. Also, tell her that she needs to talk to her mom. Let her know you feel that it’s your responsibility to show the post to her mom, but you wanted to talk to her first. At least in this way, she won’t be blindsided when her mom brings it to her attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m trying to find a balance between respecting boundaries and being vigilant. I believe a friend of mine is struggling with depression. This is someone I used to talk to every day and see at least once a week. I know that sounds excessive, but she was just very present. In the past two years, she has experienced a lot of loss, change and upheaval, and I can see that it’s taken a toll on her. We’ve talked about how it's affected her, and I thought those conversations were a sign of healing, but lately, she has shut everyone out. She has disappeared from social media, never answers phone calls and only seldomly responds to texts. When I ask if she’d be open to spending time together, even if just silently, she says she’d rather be alone. Her mom is worried, and so am I. How can I be there for a friend who doesn’t want to be around anyone? -- Isolation

DEAR ISOLATION: You can’t force your friend to talk to you. You can continue to let her know you love her and want to be there for her. Try to visit her. Call her regularly, even if you get voicemail. Stay in touch with her mother. Keep her in prayer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)