DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt is hosting an old friend of hers, “Fran,” who moved here for more work opportunities. Fran arrived nearly two years ago as travel nursing became increasingly popular and lucrative in the post-pandemic era. Originally, Fran moved in because she was trying to save money; since my aunt and her husband live by themselves and they have lots of room to spare, they invited Fran to stay longer.

Fran goes everywhere with my aunt and uncle -- and often goes out with just my uncle. If I’m being frank, a lot of people in my family are concerned about the dynamic between Fran and my aunt’s husband. They seem cozy and even flirtatious around each other. Obviously, these sorts of concerns are delicate. I’d hate to make an accusation, but I feel uncomfortable whenever I see them together. Would I be overstepping by expressing this concern to my aunt? -- Third Wheel

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: You are right -- this is a delicate situation, but it is also something worth addressing. Speak to your aunt privately and tell her you want to make an uncomfortable observation. With her blessing, tell her what you’ve seen. Let her know that you have no evidence of any inappropriate behavior, but your gut tells you that she should beware. Then, leave it alone. People live with all manner of dynamics in their lives. Your aunt may be OK with whatever is happening. You will have done your duty by informing her of your suspicions so she can take action if she chooses.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past year, I’ve been supporting my younger brother financially because our parents have refused to help him. He’s been struggling to keep up with rent, bills and basic expenses, and I felt like I couldn’t just stand by and watch him sink further. At first, it was manageable. I helped him out here and there, covered small emergencies and offered advice. Lately, it feels like he’s become completely dependent on me. Whenever he faces any money issue, he turns to me immediately without trying to solve things himself. Meanwhile, I’m starting to run low on my own savings, and it’s becoming stressful and unsustainable. I want to see him succeed and be independent, but I don’t know how to encourage that without cutting him off completely or making him feel abandoned. I’ve tried talking about budgeting and financial planning, but he gets defensive or just ignores the advice. I’m torn between wanting to help and needing to set boundaries for my own well-being. How do I support him in a way that pushes him toward responsibility without damaging our relationship? -- Time To Fly

DEAR TIME TO FLY: Make a budget and determine how much you can afford to give your brother monthly. Tell him the amount that you can offer over the next six- or 12-month period. Suggest that he figure out a way to cover the rest of his expenses as he also plans to be financially independent by the deadline. Stick to your plan and wean him off of your resources. When you get to the end of the term, stop giving him money. It may be hard for both of you, but it will force him to step up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in midtown Manhattan, and as you probably know, there was a mass shooting there recently. New York City is known for its chaos, but this still feels so unreal to me. I work in the building immediately next door to the one this gunman targeted. Luckily, I happened to leave work just early enough to avoid the awful experience that day, but for some reason, I am still rattled. I have had a really difficult time going back to my office. I feel uneasy and paranoid, if I’m being honest. As I commute into work, my mind races with panicked thoughts. This is new to me. My train ride is usually when I read or listen to soothing music before starting my day, but now it’s a whirlwind of thoughts and worries, which makes for a bad start to my day. Why am I feeling so panicked when this technically didn’t happen to me? -- Trauma Adjacent

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad is diabetic. My siblings and I all live separately, so we hadn’t realized that he was neglecting his medication. We learned of this only when my mom called us to the hospital and told us that our dad had had a stroke. Thankfully, it was minor (so the doctors say). He regained all movement in his body after a day, but he has temporarily lost vision in his left eye.

My dad is in his 60s. To me, he is too young to be experiencing this. He told us that he does his best to remember to take his medication, but it is not his priority. He has the option to retire, but he chooses not to. I’ve tried pleading with him the past few weeks, but he’s headstrong and doesn’t like it when we hover or send him reminders. I understand that his work is important to him; I just wish his life was, too. How can I get through to my dad? -- Hard-Headed Dad

DEAR HARD-HEADED DAD: Can your mom help monitor your father’s actions? As difficult as this may be, he does need to take his medication on time. Perhaps she can organize it for him and offer it to him on a schedule. Does his insurance allow for an outside agency to come in to monitor his medicine? At least while he’s recovering from the stroke, it would be extremely helpful for him to be aided in this capacity. Check to see what his insurance will allow in terms of caregiving.

Apart from that, sit down and talk with him and your mother. Let him know how much he is loved and how important it is for him to be more vigilant about his health. Encourage him to step up for himself -- and for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past three years, my ex and I have found our way back to friendship. When we first broke up, we left each other alone, which was probably for the best. Lately, we check in from time to time and cheer each other on in new endeavors. About a month ago, I found myself in a jam: My car broke down late at night, and I needed a lift. I called my ex in hopes that he was out. He was, but he did not appreciate me calling while “in need.” I found my own way home, but he eventually reached out after weeks of us not speaking to tell me how confused he is. Apparently, conversation is OK, but asking for favors sends a different message. Is it possible to have a healthy friendship with this person, given our history and our current misunderstanding, or are there too many complex emotions for a simple friendship to be possible? -- It’s Complicated

DEAR IT’S COMPLICATED: Clearly, there are still some lingering feelings in the air between you two. Even though you have moved on, the heart is a funny thing. The confusion points to the possibility that something may be stirring. That said, when you were clearly in need, the fact that your ex left you hanging is terrible. He could have picked you up and dropped you off without opening the way for any other type of interaction. To leave you stranded seems selfish. This suggests that he cannot handle being your friend. My advice is to back off -- for now, anyway.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am heading back to college soon, and this will be my second year living off campus. During the summer, I sublet my room and came home for a paid internship. I’ve been saving up my money so that I can be prepared once I’m back on campus and minimize my loans. In preparation for the upcoming semester, my dad let me know how proud he was of me and my first paid internship at a major company, and he offered to help me with rent for the next few months. He made it clear that he won’t be paying in full, and I made it clear that I intend to find at least a part-time job once I get back to school. For some reason, though, my mom seems against it. She hasn’t said so explicitly, but whenever my dad reminds her to write the check or Zelle me, she avoids doing it in the moment and seems to conveniently “forget.” I really don’t like asking, but my dad says when someone offers you something, it’s important for me to show up and do my part to take it. I feel awkward asking repeatedly, and I’m not sure why my mom is making me. -- Rent Assistance

DEAR RENT ASSISTANCE: Why not talk to your mom directly? Remind her of what you are doing and of the agreement you made with your dad. Point out that you are not expecting them to fully cover your expenses, but you made your plans based on your dad's promise, and their support is crucial to your life for these next months. Ask her why she is reluctant to help and if there is something you can do to make her feel more comfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)