DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter recently got into a car accident. Thankfully, she wasn’t seriously hurt, but the car was totaled. After talking to her about what happened, it became clear that the accident was due to her not paying attention: She was distracted, and it cost her.

Now that the dust has settled, she’s asking my husband and me to buy her a new car. She seems to expect that we’ll replace it like we’re upgrading her phone, and I’m struggling with how entitled she sounds. I understand that having a car is important for her independence, job and social life, but I also feel strongly that this is an opportunity to teach her some real-world responsibility. I told her that we’re willing to help with the cost, but she needs to contribute financially as well, whether that means saving up from her part-time job or doing extra work around the house. She, of course, is frustrated and thinks we’re being unfair. She says she’s already learned her lesson from the crash, but I’m not so sure. Am I being too harsh? -- Learn the Lesson

DEAR LEARN THE LESSON: Your daughter absolutely should have repercussions due to her accident. She needs to step up and help figure out how she can have a car again. Yes, she should have to help pay for it. One way to approach this might be to offer to match dollar for dollar whatever money she is willing and able to put toward the vehicle.

Sure, it’s frustrating, but so was the crash that totaled the car, raised your insurance bill and required the purchase of a new car. She may think she has learned her lesson, but she has a long way to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my roommate about six months ago, and at first, everything was fine. We got along well, split chores evenly and respected each other’s space. Recently, things have taken a serious turn for the worse. We got into a huge argument a few weeks ago. I won’t go into all the details, but it got pretty heated and personal. Ever since then, things have been unbearably tense in the apartment. We barely speak, and when we do, it’s cold or passive-aggressive. I don’t feel comfortable in my own home anymore, and I find myself avoiding being there as much as possible. The problem is, we’re still in the middle of our lease, and breaking it would be expensive. Neither of us can afford to pay the full rent on our own, and I don’t think she’s interested in moving out either.

I feel stuck. I want to move out and get some peace of mind, but I don’t know how to do that without making things worse financially or legally. Do you have any advice on how to handle this? Is there a way to get out of the lease early or find a compromise that won’t destroy my bank account or my sanity? -- Stuck

DEAR STUCK: Start by asking your roommate for a meeting. Address the elephant in the room: namely, that ever since your argument, things have been tense. Ask her if she can agree to a truce since you both need to live there. Agree on who does what, and recommend that you dial back the hostility. Apologize for anything hurtful you said or did, and ask for a reset.

Check with your landlord to see what it would cost to break the lease or find a replacement tenant for you. Besides that, if it is a one-year lease, the good news is that six months will fly by.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for a while now, and with that comes a lot of work with adjacent industries like beauty and fashion. A friend of mine admires the work I do. They’ve had a longtime interest in leaving the corporate world to pursue modeling full-time, and they currently model on the side. When I share stories about events I’ve attended or people and brands I’ve worked with over the years, they’d always ask, “Why don’t you introduce me?” So more and more I’d bring up their name subtly or ask for contact info on their behalf, but whenever opportunity came knocking, my friend would make excuses. I decided to stop advocating for them. I’m not sure if it’s nerves or if they’re simply not ready for this undertaking, but either way, I decided not to prioritize helping them in that way. I expressed this to my friend recently to set a clear boundary between my career and theirs, and they accused me of “hindering” them. Am I wrong here? -- Ungrateful Friend

DEAR UNGRATEFUL FRIEND: You are not wrong. Remind your friend that you made an effort on a number of occasions to give them a leg up into your business, and they didn’t follow up. Your reputation is important, and if they are not going to take your introductions seriously, you cannot afford to keep making them. It makes you look bad, like you don’t have serious contacts. They are hindering themselves, whether or not they realize it. Follow-through is essential. By not doing it, they shut the door on the opportunity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working on a project with someone who pitched himself as an expert, asked for a hefty fee and promised to be a leader throughout. What has happened is completely different. He is barely present, hasn’t come close to meeting deadlines and is constantly distracted. I need him to step up and do his part, but it isn’t happening. How can I get him to take action or get out of the contract and find someone else to complete the job? -- Broken Agreement

DEAR BROKEN AGREEMENT: Review your contract to see what this person is required to do. Go through a checklist of duties that are outlined in the agreement. If you can go point by point and show him how he is not fulfilling his duties, you can argue that if he is unwilling or unable to do so, you need to find someone else to help you as he has breached his contract. Let him know that you will not be paying him for services that he has not completed.

Make sure you have everything documented as he may sue you for his compensation. If you are following your written agreement, you should be able to prove what he did or did not do. The very threat of not paying him may get him to step up, though. Tell him that if he does the job, he will be compensated.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Out of nowhere, my mom confided in me that she never really enjoyed being a mother. She said that since I am 45 years old, she feels like she can finally be honest about it. She told me she loves me and my siblings, but the day-to-day experience of raising us was overwhelming and exhausting. She said working full-time and then coming home to care for three children felt like a burden she never really wanted. She even admitted that if she could go back, she wouldn’t have had kids at all.

I’m trying to be understanding. I appreciate her honesty, and I know parenting is hard, especially for women of her generation who had fewer choices and support systems, but I can’t lie: Her words stung. I keep wondering if that’s why sometimes she seemed distant or irritable when we were growing up. It’s like I’m reprocessing parts of my childhood with this new lens, and it’s bringing up a lot of complex feelings. Should I talk to her about it more? Should I be grateful for her honesty, or is it OK that I’m hurt by her admission? -- Trying To Make Sense of It

DEAR TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT: Consider your mother’s admission an opening for you both to speak candidly about the past. Be compassionate. It is a big job and a huge responsibility to care for children. Every mother has meltdowns, though it sounds like your mother’s state of mind was more extreme than some.

Let her know you appreciate her honesty, and describe how it has impacted you. Tell her you want to be able to share your reaction without her becoming defensive. Perhaps you can both heal by talking together about the past and the present.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a big mistake. I am working on a job with a group of people, and one is getting on my nerves. After months of doing virtually nothing, she wrote a note to me about things that need to get done, and I responded well, but at the end of the email I called her out for not being available like she had promised -- not in a mean way, but in a direct way. What I didn’t realize is that I hit reply all. Now everybody on the team knows that I’m ticked with her. That is not a way to build morale. How can I make amends so that I don’t have a grumpy contractor on the job? -- Oops

DEAR OOPS: Write to the contractor directly or call her and apologize for sharing your complaint with the whole team. Explain that you were frustrated and didn’t share your frustration well, but that you truly do need her to step up and do her part. Ask her what she needs in order to be successful. Do your best to provide that, even if you don’t want to do so. As the leader, encourage her to do her part.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)