DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for a while now, and with that comes a lot of work with adjacent industries like beauty and fashion. A friend of mine admires the work I do. They’ve had a longtime interest in leaving the corporate world to pursue modeling full-time, and they currently model on the side. When I share stories about events I’ve attended or people and brands I’ve worked with over the years, they’d always ask, “Why don’t you introduce me?” So more and more I’d bring up their name subtly or ask for contact info on their behalf, but whenever opportunity came knocking, my friend would make excuses. I decided to stop advocating for them. I’m not sure if it’s nerves or if they’re simply not ready for this undertaking, but either way, I decided not to prioritize helping them in that way. I expressed this to my friend recently to set a clear boundary between my career and theirs, and they accused me of “hindering” them. Am I wrong here? -- Ungrateful Friend

DEAR UNGRATEFUL FRIEND: You are not wrong. Remind your friend that you made an effort on a number of occasions to give them a leg up into your business, and they didn’t follow up. Your reputation is important, and if they are not going to take your introductions seriously, you cannot afford to keep making them. It makes you look bad, like you don’t have serious contacts. They are hindering themselves, whether or not they realize it. Follow-through is essential. By not doing it, they shut the door on the opportunity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working on a project with someone who pitched himself as an expert, asked for a hefty fee and promised to be a leader throughout. What has happened is completely different. He is barely present, hasn’t come close to meeting deadlines and is constantly distracted. I need him to step up and do his part, but it isn’t happening. How can I get him to take action or get out of the contract and find someone else to complete the job? -- Broken Agreement

DEAR BROKEN AGREEMENT: Review your contract to see what this person is required to do. Go through a checklist of duties that are outlined in the agreement. If you can go point by point and show him how he is not fulfilling his duties, you can argue that if he is unwilling or unable to do so, you need to find someone else to help you as he has breached his contract. Let him know that you will not be paying him for services that he has not completed.

Make sure you have everything documented as he may sue you for his compensation. If you are following your written agreement, you should be able to prove what he did or did not do. The very threat of not paying him may get him to step up, though. Tell him that if he does the job, he will be compensated.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Out of nowhere, my mom confided in me that she never really enjoyed being a mother. She said that since I am 45 years old, she feels like she can finally be honest about it. She told me she loves me and my siblings, but the day-to-day experience of raising us was overwhelming and exhausting. She said working full-time and then coming home to care for three children felt like a burden she never really wanted. She even admitted that if she could go back, she wouldn’t have had kids at all.

I’m trying to be understanding. I appreciate her honesty, and I know parenting is hard, especially for women of her generation who had fewer choices and support systems, but I can’t lie: Her words stung. I keep wondering if that’s why sometimes she seemed distant or irritable when we were growing up. It’s like I’m reprocessing parts of my childhood with this new lens, and it’s bringing up a lot of complex feelings. Should I talk to her about it more? Should I be grateful for her honesty, or is it OK that I’m hurt by her admission? -- Trying To Make Sense of It

DEAR TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT: Consider your mother’s admission an opening for you both to speak candidly about the past. Be compassionate. It is a big job and a huge responsibility to care for children. Every mother has meltdowns, though it sounds like your mother’s state of mind was more extreme than some.

Let her know you appreciate her honesty, and describe how it has impacted you. Tell her you want to be able to share your reaction without her becoming defensive. Perhaps you can both heal by talking together about the past and the present.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a big mistake. I am working on a job with a group of people, and one is getting on my nerves. After months of doing virtually nothing, she wrote a note to me about things that need to get done, and I responded well, but at the end of the email I called her out for not being available like she had promised -- not in a mean way, but in a direct way. What I didn’t realize is that I hit reply all. Now everybody on the team knows that I’m ticked with her. That is not a way to build morale. How can I make amends so that I don’t have a grumpy contractor on the job? -- Oops

DEAR OOPS: Write to the contractor directly or call her and apologize for sharing your complaint with the whole team. Explain that you were frustrated and didn’t share your frustration well, but that you truly do need her to step up and do her part. Ask her what she needs in order to be successful. Do your best to provide that, even if you don’t want to do so. As the leader, encourage her to do her part.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, my cat went missing. I put up flyers around the neighborhood, posted on local social media pages and walked around calling her name. Then, a few days ago, I spotted her sitting in my neighbor’s window just two houses down. I’m absolutely certain it’s her: same markings, same collar, and when she saw me, she perked up and tried to get my attention. I knocked on their door to ask about it, but they acted confused and said it was a stray they recently took in. I know my cat, and I’m 100% sure she didn’t just wander in and decide to live with someone else. I’m torn because I want to confront them, but I’m afraid of causing tension or making things worse. I live here, too, and don’t want ongoing hostility. How do I go about asking for my cat back without starting a neighborhood feud? Should I involve the authorities or try to resolve it peacefully? I just want my pet home where she belongs. -- My Cat

DEAR MY CAT: If you are certain that is your cat, it is time to go to the police. Clearly, your neighbors have decided that your cat now belongs to them. Rather than attempting to reason with people who are unwilling to accept that the “stray” cat they found wasn’t actually a stray, get the local authorities involved to handle the situation. If you had your cat chipped when you adopted it, that will be all the proof you need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got myself into a bit of a pickle. I am a single dad, and now that my daughter’s a bit older and I’ve gotten a better hang of the whole dad thing, I’ve started dating again. In the past year or so, I’ve met a few women, but along the way, I decided that I would not discuss my daughter until I knew I was interested in pursuing something serious.

The most recent woman I was seeing is great, and as things began to pick up, I decided that I wanted to tell her about my daughter and my role as her primary caretaker. I called to invite her out, and she immediately asked me why I had never mentioned my daughter. Apparently, she found out from my social media, which I never shared with her. I tried to explain that I don’t bring up my daughter until I’m serious, but that seemed to pour salt in the wound. She thinks I’m a liar or that I’m not a proud father, which is not the case! This is a woman I really connected with. How can I show her that I’m being genuine? Should I just cut my losses and move on? -- Dating Dad

DEAR DATING DAD: There is no rule about what to tell your dates about yourself and your family. You are not wrong to want to protect your child’s identity and privacy until you get to know someone. That said, if you post about your child on social media, you must assume others already know she exists. It is understandable that your date would question why you kept this a secret from her.

State your case about wanting to protect your child from any new person. Add that you are telling her now because you do care about her. She can be angry or choose to grow in a relationship with you. It is her choice now. Let her know what you want so your message is clear.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)