DEAR HARRIETTE: Out of nowhere, my mom confided in me that she never really enjoyed being a mother. She said that since I am 45 years old, she feels like she can finally be honest about it. She told me she loves me and my siblings, but the day-to-day experience of raising us was overwhelming and exhausting. She said working full-time and then coming home to care for three children felt like a burden she never really wanted. She even admitted that if she could go back, she wouldn’t have had kids at all.

I’m trying to be understanding. I appreciate her honesty, and I know parenting is hard, especially for women of her generation who had fewer choices and support systems, but I can’t lie: Her words stung. I keep wondering if that’s why sometimes she seemed distant or irritable when we were growing up. It’s like I’m reprocessing parts of my childhood with this new lens, and it’s bringing up a lot of complex feelings. Should I talk to her about it more? Should I be grateful for her honesty, or is it OK that I’m hurt by her admission? -- Trying To Make Sense of It

DEAR TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT: Consider your mother’s admission an opening for you both to speak candidly about the past. Be compassionate. It is a big job and a huge responsibility to care for children. Every mother has meltdowns, though it sounds like your mother’s state of mind was more extreme than some.

Let her know you appreciate her honesty, and describe how it has impacted you. Tell her you want to be able to share your reaction without her becoming defensive. Perhaps you can both heal by talking together about the past and the present.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a big mistake. I am working on a job with a group of people, and one is getting on my nerves. After months of doing virtually nothing, she wrote a note to me about things that need to get done, and I responded well, but at the end of the email I called her out for not being available like she had promised -- not in a mean way, but in a direct way. What I didn’t realize is that I hit reply all. Now everybody on the team knows that I’m ticked with her. That is not a way to build morale. How can I make amends so that I don’t have a grumpy contractor on the job? -- Oops

DEAR OOPS: Write to the contractor directly or call her and apologize for sharing your complaint with the whole team. Explain that you were frustrated and didn’t share your frustration well, but that you truly do need her to step up and do her part. Ask her what she needs in order to be successful. Do your best to provide that, even if you don’t want to do so. As the leader, encourage her to do her part.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, my cat went missing. I put up flyers around the neighborhood, posted on local social media pages and walked around calling her name. Then, a few days ago, I spotted her sitting in my neighbor’s window just two houses down. I’m absolutely certain it’s her: same markings, same collar, and when she saw me, she perked up and tried to get my attention. I knocked on their door to ask about it, but they acted confused and said it was a stray they recently took in. I know my cat, and I’m 100% sure she didn’t just wander in and decide to live with someone else. I’m torn because I want to confront them, but I’m afraid of causing tension or making things worse. I live here, too, and don’t want ongoing hostility. How do I go about asking for my cat back without starting a neighborhood feud? Should I involve the authorities or try to resolve it peacefully? I just want my pet home where she belongs. -- My Cat

DEAR MY CAT: If you are certain that is your cat, it is time to go to the police. Clearly, your neighbors have decided that your cat now belongs to them. Rather than attempting to reason with people who are unwilling to accept that the “stray” cat they found wasn’t actually a stray, get the local authorities involved to handle the situation. If you had your cat chipped when you adopted it, that will be all the proof you need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got myself into a bit of a pickle. I am a single dad, and now that my daughter’s a bit older and I’ve gotten a better hang of the whole dad thing, I’ve started dating again. In the past year or so, I’ve met a few women, but along the way, I decided that I would not discuss my daughter until I knew I was interested in pursuing something serious.

The most recent woman I was seeing is great, and as things began to pick up, I decided that I wanted to tell her about my daughter and my role as her primary caretaker. I called to invite her out, and she immediately asked me why I had never mentioned my daughter. Apparently, she found out from my social media, which I never shared with her. I tried to explain that I don’t bring up my daughter until I’m serious, but that seemed to pour salt in the wound. She thinks I’m a liar or that I’m not a proud father, which is not the case! This is a woman I really connected with. How can I show her that I’m being genuine? Should I just cut my losses and move on? -- Dating Dad

DEAR DATING DAD: There is no rule about what to tell your dates about yourself and your family. You are not wrong to want to protect your child’s identity and privacy until you get to know someone. That said, if you post about your child on social media, you must assume others already know she exists. It is understandable that your date would question why you kept this a secret from her.

State your case about wanting to protect your child from any new person. Add that you are telling her now because you do care about her. She can be angry or choose to grow in a relationship with you. It is her choice now. Let her know what you want so your message is clear.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman I went to school with many years ago. When we saw each other, she reached out to hug me immediately and express her joy at reconnecting. I had no idea who she was! It turns out that more than 40 years ago we were at the same school and participated in a performance together. She remembers it vividly; I do not. I vaguely remember her face, but that’s about it. How do you handle a situation like this? This woman was so excited to see me and clearly a bit disappointed that I had no recall of her. -- Memory Loss

DEAR MEMORY LOSS: It’s OK that you don’t remember those details from long ago. Just listen. You can even ask her to refresh your memory. Acknowledge her joy in reconnecting with you. If you feel that you would like to know this woman now, exchange numbers. Otherwise, just be kind. If you want, you can apologize for not having the recall she does as you show appreciation for her excitement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Today, my son came home from kindergarten and casually told me that one of his classmates had hit him during the school day. Naturally, I was concerned and asked him more about what happened. He didn’t seem too upset, but he did say it hurt and that he didn’t know why the other kid did it. What really confused me is that his teacher didn’t mention anything to me at pickup -- not a word about any incident or behavioral issue.

As a parent, I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore something that could be serious. I’m feeling a mix of emotions: confusion, frustration and a little worry. I want to make sure my child feels safe at school, but I also know that kids at that age are still learning how to handle emotions and social interactions. I don’t want to create drama with the teacher or the other child’s parents, but I do feel like I deserve to know when something like this happens.

How should I approach this? Should I reach out to the teacher directly and ask for more information, or should I wait and see if it happens again? How do I talk to my son about standing up for himself without encouraging him to be aggressive in return? -- School Daze

DEAR SCHOOL DAZE: Talk to your child’s teacher first. Calmly share what you learned, and ask the teacher what happened. Explain that you want to know when altercations occur, even if nothing serious resulted, as you are teaching your child how to behave in all situations, including tense ones. Ask about school protocols regarding violence of any kind.

Once you know what happened, talk to your son about how to deal with conflict without violence and with respect. It’s never too early to reinforce how to interact with control and grace.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)