DEAR HARRIETTE: I have the opportunity to take a job where my friend will be my boss. I’ve never worked in an environment with someone I was friends with prior to working with them, and I don’t often make a habit of becoming close friends with co-workers. I’m a bit wary.

This friend of mine is someone I have known since middle school. Our dynamic now is not consistent, but when we do see each other -- usually two or three times a year -- it’s like we haven’t missed a beat. I wonder if the fact that we don’t spend much time together will be a good thing if we end up working together. She has a trustworthy and easygoing way about her. I just wonder what I don't know about my friend yet that could impact our relationship if she becomes my manager? Am I thinking too far ahead? -- Friend in Charge

DEAR FRIEND IN CHARGE: Talk to your friend about her expectations and her work style. Ask her to tell you how she manages the team and what she wants from you. Tell her you intend to do a great job, and you want to have a clear understanding of what that would look like for her. Don’t plant any seeds of negativity or doubt. Just listen and learn. If you do end up being her subordinate, do your best to remember your roles and resist asking for favors or different treatment than she offers others.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I called my cousin “Joe” to wish him a happy birthday. Joe and I were born in the same year and grew up like siblings. Now that we live in different states, we don’t talk as often, but when we do, we like to catch up. So when I called on his birthday, I was excited to hear what’s new with him. I happened to ask how his wife was doing, and after telling me she’s doing well, he asked me why I have been talking to her about leaving him. I was so confused. I barely talk to his wife -- not for any particular reason, just because we don’t really know each other that well. I explained to Joe that I don’t call her, and he insisted that “he knows” I do and that she’s been telling him what I say. I told him she’s probably trying to upset him, but he doesn’t believe me. What kind of wedge is she trying to drive between Joe and me? -- Lying Wife

DEAR LYING WIFE: Reiterate that you have not spoken to your cousin’s wife at all. If you want to help him get to the bottom of this, ask him to invite you over to his house when his wife will be there. The three of you can talk about it openly.

The bigger issue, though, is their relationship. He needs to address that. What is going on and why is his wife introducing the idea of a separation through a third party -- you? Joe needs to address his life head-on, not be distracted by what his wife said you said. Tell him that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just graduated from college in May, and my husband and I couldn’t be prouder of her. She has a job lined up in New York City and will be moving there in mid-August. The lease at her college apartment ends in July, and we were really hoping she would come home before starting this next chapter. We thought it would be a nice way for her to relax, regroup and spend some quality time with family before she’s off building her new life. When we suggested it, she told us she doesn’t want to come home. She said she wants to stay with some university friends until her lease is up. Honestly, this response really hurt. We’ve supported her every step of the way, and we were looking forward to having her back under our roof, even if just for a short time. I can’t help but feel like she’s trying to distance herself from us now that she’s an adult. Is it wrong to want this time with her? How do I deal with the sadness and disappointment I’m feeling without making her feel guilty? -- Missing Our Daughter

DEAR MISSING OUR DAUGHTER: Accepting that your daughter is independent and walking into the next stage of her life has got to be difficult. It is understandable that you long to spend a bit of time with her before she moves further away. It also makes sense that she wants to be with friends she has made in college whom she may never see again.

Tell your daughter that you were hoping she would come home for a short time before heading to New York City for her new job. Ask her if she would consider carving out a brief period of time -- even just a long weekend -- to come home to be with you while also being able to hang a bit with her friends. Don’t guilt her. Just ask her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event with a male friend, “Tom,” and met up with a female friend, “Meg,” and we all hung out together. The next day, I learned that Tom had been calling Meg and basically trying to seduce her. His approach was a bit kinky, though, and she was turned off by it. Joe asked Meg to send him pictures of different body parts -- not genitalia -- but she found it all creepy. Now he won’t stop soliciting her for photos. Meg has forwarded me his messages so I can see them; they are different, but not overly suggestive or inappropriate. She has asked me to speak to him and ask him to back off. I don’t want to get involved. Nothing seems dangerous about his communication. Meg just needs to tell him she’s not interested. Do you think I need to do more? -- Peripheral

DEAR PERIPHERAL: Encourage Meg to handle her business. This is not high school. Everyone is an adult. She needs to act like one and tell Joe that she appreciates his interest in her, but she does not reciprocate his feelings. She needs to ask him to stop calling and texting her. If he doesn’t get the hint, she can block his number.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I haven't been able to get a good night’s rest in over a year. My 8-year-old daughter still insists on sleeping in our bed with us almost every night, and I’m at a loss for what to do. It started a few years ago when she had some nightmares, and I let her sleep with us to help her feel safe. Now it’s become a habit that neither of us can seem to break. She gets upset when we try to get her to sleep in her own room, and I feel guilty pushing her away. Sometimes it just feels easier to give in, especially after a long day.

I know she needs to learn independence and feel confident sleeping on her own. My husband and I also want our own space back since it’s starting to affect our sleep and overall stress levels. How can we transition her back to her own bed without causing more anxiety or making her feel like we’re rejecting her? -- Independent Sleep

DEAR INDEPENDENT SLEEP: According to the Child Mind Institute, you have to set firm boundaries around sleep for your child, or else you may never get her to sleep in her own room. First, talk to her about whatever anxiety she may have about sleeping alone. Ask her to name what is going on. Since it has become a pattern for her to cuddle up with you and your husband, it may now be about seeking that comfort rather than alleviating fear.

You have to establish that she now must sleep in her own room. You can start by stating the rule, establishing a specific bedtime and then being in the room with her until she falls asleep. Ideally, sit in a chair next to her, not on her bed. Consider something called “fading,” where you start seated near her and over time inch your way to a space outside the room with your chair. Wean her off of her reliance on you. If and when she comes to your room, lead her back to her room immediately. It will take time, but it can work, and it is necessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I went on a first date with a guy I met through mutual friends, and honestly, it was a disaster. He showed up late, spent most of the time talking about himself and made a few offhand comments that rubbed me the wrong way. I left the date feeling disappointed and convinced there was no real connection. Now he’s been texting me nonstop, apologizing and saying he was nervous and not acting like his true self. He keeps asking for a second chance, saying he really likes me and wants to make a better impression. A part of me appreciates the accountability and effort, but I also don’t want to ignore the red flags I felt in my gut. I’m torn between giving him the benefit of the doubt and trusting my first impression. How do I know if I’m being too quick to judge, or if I’d just be wasting more of my time? -- Bad Date

DEAR BAD DATE: Trust your instincts. You can forgive him and not go out with him again. Tell him you accept his apology, but you are not interested in a second date. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)