DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have always been close, but lately our relationship has been feeling strained, and I think it has a lot to do with how she constantly compares our kids. Every time we’re together, she makes comments about how much more advanced her daughter is or how her son is better behaved. She’ll say things like, “Well, mine was already reading at that age,” or “Maybe you should try what we do, it seems to work.” Sometimes it’s subtle, but other times it feels downright competitive.

At first, I brushed off her comments because I thought she was just proud of her children and maybe didn’t realize how her words were coming across. Over time, it’s really started to wear on me. I find myself dreading family gatherings or holding back updates about my own kids because I know it will lead to some kind of comparison or judgment. I want to talk to my sister about it, but I’m afraid that if I bring it up, she’ll get defensive or accuse me of being overly sensitive. How can I ask her to stop making these comparisons? -- Stop the Comparisons

DEAR STOP THE COMPARISONS: Were the two of you competitive when you were children? Is there any competition between you today? If so, consider what your life was like before and if any of this behavior is reminiscent of the past.

Either way, tell your sister you need to talk to her. Bring up your concerns. Describe what happens when you are together. Give her a couple of examples of how she talks about the children and how it makes you feel. Explain that you are beginning to feel uncomfortable talking about your children in her presence given how she engages around them. Ask her to stop with the comparisons and love the children for who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend, “Pam,” doesn’t believe in marriage. She grew up with single parents, and I think that had an impact on her view of long-term committed relationships. That’s fair. For as long as I’ve known her, though, she pokes fun at or bullies people who have more traditional values. That’s not fair.

A new friend of ours, “Amy,” who is younger and a tad impressionable, prefers to date with the goal of marriage and a family in mind. She dates only one person at a time and takes it seriously. The other day, Pam asked why Amy refuses to date more people and if she thinks subjecting herself to one person is what will change her life. Later, I told Pam that she’s way too critical of people’s choices when it comes to dating and marriage, and she did not take it well. How can I get through to her? -- Strong Opinions

DEAR STRONG OPINIONS: Have a sit-down with Pam, and tell her you have bitten your tongue about this topic, but you need to address it head-on. She is entitled to her way of living -- just as others are. You find it rude and sometimes mean to belittle people for having different views about relationships. Ask her to stop, especially with this impressionable young woman.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s this guy I’ve been seeing, and now that we’re official, I’ve been spending a lot more time at his house. I recently learned about a strange habit of his that I don’t appreciate. He works in sanitation and often has early morning shifts. When he leaves for work, he walks outside shirtless. The first time this happened, I was shocked. I asked him where he was going without his clothing, and he said his shirt was in the car. He was parked right in front of his house, but I found it inappropriate.

I’ve seen him do this multiple times. He claims he doesn’t like to bring his uniform into the house and would rather just put it on when he’s on his way to work. I just don’t understand why he feels the need to walk outside with only half his clothing on. It’s a turnoff for me, quite frankly. I think an undershirt could be the simple answer to this problem. Am I blowing this out of proportion? -- Half-Naked

DEAR HALF-NAKED: Your boyfriend is being practical. Working in sanitation means that his uniform is likely not fresh -- even if he launders it regularly. Not bringing that into the house probably seems hygienic to him.

You are facing an etiquette dilemma: You grew up believing people should not go outside undressed. How do you address this? Directly. Tell your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable that he leaves the house half-naked. Explain that it bothers you because your value system says that’s inappropriate. Ask him if he would consider wearing an undershirt.

If he says no, you will have to decide what you can live with. People have all kinds of quirks. Is going to his car shirtless a dealbreaker for you?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend invited me to a party over the weekend. It’s been a while since I’ve been social, so I wanted to get back out there. I offered to pick her and a few other friends up. At some point, my friend was encouraging me to take shots of liquor, and in hopes of loosening up, I did. By the end of the night, I was in no condition to drive. I asked my friend to walk around a bit with me, but she complained about the heat and encouraged me to drink water instead. She wanted to head to another bar, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to join. She called a cab for herself and the other friends and told me to go make up my mind in my car.

I don’t get why my friend abandoned me while I wasn’t sober. I ended up waiting in my car for about two hours until I felt better. She didn’t even text to ask if I was OK. I don’t know what conversation to have with her. -- Under the Influence

DEAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE: She is not your friend. Anyone who would abandon you in that way should be ashamed. Whenever, if ever, you decide to speak to her again, tell her that her behavior was inexcusable, selfish and dangerous -- the opposite of anything resembling friendship.

I would also like to commend you for taking the time to get sober before getting behind the wheel. Another solution would have been to call a cab or rideshare.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I’ve made up my mind that I’d like to have a fling while in Europe. I haven’t quite mapped out whether I’d rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I’m here, but I do know I’d like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in a relationship at home.

My friends have been encouraging me to tell my partner my plans, but part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want something temporary and spontaneous to ruin the relationship I want to come home to. My friends think I should trust my partner to be open-minded. I’m worried. My boyfriend and I have never even flirted with the idea of an open relationship, and just the mention of my summer interests may cause a breakup without even having done the deed. Should I be honest, or should I just take Europe by storm and see how things pan out? It may not even happen. -- Summer Fling

DEAR SUMMER FLING: It seems you have given a lot of thought to the what-ifs without giving equal thought to the repercussions of those what-ifs. Pause for a moment. You are young. This is the beginning of your adult life. How do you want to live it? Do you want to become someone who lies, or do you want to live your truth -- whatever that is?

While it may seem difficult right now to tell your partner of your interests, if you tell him that you care for him deeply but want to hold space for a romantic experience while you are away, you will have told the truth and created a path for the two of you to grow together in your young relationship. If you lie and he finds out, you will be dealing with trust issues, which can be insurmountable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been stuck in a rut. I lost my job a few months ago and have been having a rough time landing a new one. At first, I decided to focus my energy on having a more positive mindset. It was working for several months; I was feeling much better mentally, and I was quite hopeful, reminding myself that whatever’s meant for me will happen. The economy has me concerned, though. I keep applying for jobs, to no avail. I keep seeing everyone around me achieving more and growing in their careers, and I feel left behind. I am losing hope. How can I take care of myself emotionally and financially as we approach a possible recession? -- Losing Hope

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Stop comparing yourself to others. Continue to look for work, but look more broadly. Search outside your natural career trajectory. As the economy tightens, consider alternative jobs so that you can have an income. Get creative. Cut your expenses as dramatically as you can. Stay active. Exercise, eat healthy and volunteer somewhere to help others who are in need. Believe it or not, serving others can brighten your spirit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)